• Education,  Empowerment,  Finance,  Habits

    5 Myths about Working with a Financial Professional

    Money is integrated with every one of life’s necessities. From food to houses and cars to children and clothing all the way through retirement, money impacts many of our major decisions and the quality of the life we live. Unfortunately, personal finance is not taught in school and we lack the knowledge of how money works. Therefore, we make many of our major life decisions and how we spend our money blindly, without a guide or plan as to what will benefit us the most in the long run.

    What I find funny is that when we are in school we are given a curriculum as to what courses we need to complete to graduate. Yet, when it comes to money, we are not given the tools to make our financial futures successful.

    The good news is that there is an entire financial services industry dedicated to helping you maximize your money. Unfortunately, there are tons of myths regarding financial professionals, which makes seeking advice confusing, frustrating, and scary.

    Below, I wish to debunk 5 of those myths to help you build your knowledge about professionals within the industry and feel more confident seeking advice and help with your money.

    Myth 1: I am not old enough to work with a financial professional
    Truth: Money and time go hand in hand. The longer you have the more time for your money to grow over time. The earlier easier building new habits and wealth will become. The younger you are the easier it is to right the ship of your financial future. When it comes to the time value of money, I often tell people to start now, save regularly, and be patient. Money needs time to truly work to your advantage.

    Myth 2: I don’t have enough money to talk with a professional
    Truth: Unfortunately, there are many people in the industry who only focus on high-net-worth clients. But, if you look within the industry, you will find plenty of advisors who are willing to help you no matter what your income level. Don’t let the few who only serve the elite stereotype others who will help.

    Myth 3: I don’t need a financial professional, I can do it all by myself
    Truth: According to a recent Vanguard study, financial professionals add about 3% more in returns for their clients than those not working with a professional. 3% may not seem like a lot initially, but over time that 3% could be the difference of several hundreds of thousands of dollars when you retire, and that is a big deal. Even if you are a do-it-yourselfer, don’t you think starting early with a professional giving feedback and assessment would be key to the longevity of your finances?

    Myth 4: I am scared to reveal my money habits to a professional
    Truth: Just like you have to have the right doctor, you have to have the right financial professional. A good professional knows that no one is perfect and that you are seeking knowledge and help. The right advisor should listen to your concerns and be empathetic. He or she should make you feel safe and not judged when discussing your money challenges.

    Myth 5: All a financial professional will do is play the stock market and I don’t want to risk my money that way
    Truth: Financial professionals should look at the whole picture and develop a comprehensive plan to set you up for success long term. This goes way beyond playing the stock market. Many times, you will get advice on your savings account and emergency funds. We will examine debt. We will want to create short, middle, and long-term plans, and discuss risk tolerance. Our job is then to develop a balanced and well-diversified portfolio. Our goal is to develop an investment strategy that is appropriate for your individual situation so that you can feel in control and have confidence in the plan.

    Hopefully, your fears are debunked. A good advisor is a coach, teacher, and guide. They will be there to help you feel more knowledgeable and confident with every stage of life and every major decision. They will be there to offer options that best suit you and provide encouragement and accountability to hit your goals. Do yourself a favor and seek guidance from a professional today to enhance your financial tool belt and build more security for yourself and your family.

  • Education,  Empowerment,  Finance,  Habits

    Growth Mode- The Future is Female

    Recently I read an article from Morgan Stanley stating that by 2030 women are going to control over $30 Trillion dollars. That is 2/3 of all the assets in our nation. WOW! Talk about a great wealth transfer. Unfortunately, over the last few months, as I have met with dozens of women, I have realized that women lack the knowledge, confidence, and time to really understand personal finance. So it raises the question, what is this wealth transfer going to be like? How are we going to control this money? My personal thoughts can be summed up in one word: YIKES. I foresee an overwhelming number of women feeling crazed and scared simply because we don’t get it.

    Today, it is critical that women understand money. But if you don’t, I can’t place the blame on you. Personal finance is not taught in many public schools, which makes financial concepts elusive, complicated, and extremely frustrating. People simply don’t get it because we were never taught it, and this lack of knowledge creates problems in our families, from sleepless nights wondering how a bill will get paid to maxing out credit cards. Most Americans blame money and finance for so many of their issues.

    The lack of understanding, available education, and the wealth transfer to women is why I entered the industry. For over 20 years I specialized in coaching, educating, empowering, and giving accountability to women. I also know that women are underserved in the financial services industry because when you lack understanding of something, like money, talking about it becomes taboo, and seeking help becomes hard. Because of this problem, many women believe that working with an advisor is only for the wealthy, a stereotype I need to break because that is not who I am. I am someone who listens to understand what is going on. I love to meet people where they are and develop a map to get them to where they want to be. I am someone who checks in and pays attention in order for you to follow through on making your goals a reality. I am someone who understands that sometimes it takes a little extra motivation to reach a goal and that progress towards that goal is always more important than giving up. I believe in people even when they have a hard time believing in themselves. Ultimately, I transform lives. And that job title is amazing.

    The future of money is female, and it is critical that women begin to understand it so we don’t screw up what is our responsibility. It is time we jump into growth mode and begin to properly educate ourselves. It is time we grow in confidence as we inherit wealth from our parents and spouses. It is time that we feel empowered and in control of our spending. This isn’t a pitch to come talk to me, though I am here to provide a judgment-free space to listen to and understand your concerns and questions and to educate you on how money can work for you. But, this is a plea that you take your knowledge about money more seriously. In just 6 years the need for women to understand money is going to change drastically. Start learning now. Put it on your goals list. Take action by asking questions. Build that confidence. Spread the need to others in your life. Support one another, grow together, and take this transfer with control, power, and excitement. I want to change that thought about the wealth transfer from YIKES to YESSSS!

  • Empowerment,  Habits,  Purposeful Living

    Why I am a Financial Professional

    I was raised by two finance professionals. My dad was a banker. My mom managed a local branch of Household Finance. Money, investing, saving, budgeting, etc was all common dinner table conversations; however, my brother and I would rather fold up a piece of paper and play football. I grew up in a family that every Christmas I would receive stocks paid for by dividends and government bonds (you know the kind that takes decades to mature). The 8-year-old me didn’t value these presents, I just wanted the Barbie doll. But the 30+-year-old me sees the value, and looking back I am thankful for the experience and knowledge passed on to me.

    When I was in junior high, Mom would set me up with a weekly budget/ allowance. I had to budget my lunch money and spending money. If I wanted something I would have to figure out how to save that money to make the purchase. This continued throughout high school. Understanding money coming in versus money going out helped me know where to spend my dollars wisely.

    Yes, my parents tried to pass on financial literacy to me throughout my teen years. But, admittedly I took those lessons for granted. Why? My need for something now was stronger than my need for financial stability and freedom in my 40s, 50s, and 60s. Sometimes looking back, I think retirement was just too far away to really take that need seriously. I fell victim to the immediate want vesus the long term want mentality. My wants of today trumped my wants of the future.

    Then, as life continued, I found it hard to admit failure with money- especially when your parents tried so hard to teach you better. It is a little embarrassing to discuss things like credit card debt, credit scores, money in a saving account, budget, investing, and how perhaps you are trying to just make ends meet living paycheck to paycheck. There are so many negative stereotypes associated with each one of these areas that for many ignorances or pushing the problem aside is just easier.

    When Matthew and I finally decided to take our wealth more seriously, we were in our 30s. And we knew we needed a coach. This coach didn’t necessarily need to tell us what to do, but, instead, to change my perspective, help me problem solve, and hold us accountable to taking these goals seriously.

    The good news is that one of the ways we learn is by making mistakes. I am glad I have the life experiences of learning about money to help me relate to others who need help. I can pass these lessons on. Like many I have paid off student-loan debt (thanks to a 3rd degree that I didn’t even finish). I have overcome credit card debt. I have lived paycheck to paycheck and taught myself how to save so that stress isn’t so dire.

    Admitting all this is embarrassing, especially because I should have known better because my parents tried so hard to give me the tools and teach me about money. But it is all true. When I decided to take my money seriously, my life changed. And I have gained a ton of knowledge including how to create the habits to get yourself unstuck. I am literally walking, talking proof that if I can make these changes, you can too. And I am here to help.

    Financial planning isn’t just about investments and portfolios. It isn’t just for the rich and soon-to-be retired. Financial advising is here to help you take control of your bad habits, and for you to take ownership of your money. It is for you and for your family to be protected in case the unimaginable happens. It is for you to dream about a work-optional lifestyle instead of a life where you must work. And I can’t wait to watch people gain confidence and control of their money and watch people dream in exciting, amazing ways, createing a life where those dreams come true.

  • Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    Encouraging One Another To Grow

    It’s Ash Wednesday. The start of lent. Each year people look to fast, pray, and give during these 40 days. While some give up alcohol, sugar, soda, fast food, and clutter (please continue the list), I take this time to work on my spiritual life, to prepare my heart.

    This year I am doing an email series by Matthew Kelly entitled The Best Lent Ever. Each day there is a short emailed video for reflection and typically an action item to spread the “Holy Moment.” Today’s action is to encourage someone.

    Immediately, I was like this is an easy one. Being a mom and a fitness coach, I encourage people every day. I encourage my kids to write their letters, read their books, make their beds, and practice karate. I encourage our members to try new moves, to level up their skills, to continue until the bell rings, or to try better food choices. In those areas of life, I have become a MASTER ENCOURAGER. I never considered a moment of encouragement to be a “holy moment” for others. But for someone who rarely receives encouragement, it probably is a moment that is very special. A moment where they are recognized, noticed, pushed to grow, and celebrated.

    Immediately, I thought about the last time I was encouraged. How did I accept it?

    I think I am a person who is better at encouraging others than accepting encouragement myself. As a leader, I think I have created this personality that is the one to lift others instead of ever needing to lift myself. I am a know-it-all. I expect myself to succeed. I will discover answers to be prepared. I love to prove doubters wrong, no encouragement is needed.

    How sad and lonely does that sound?

    Maybe I need to soften my shell (pun intended) a little and allow the encouragement in? Maybe this is an area in which I can grow? To find others who encourage, not compete with me. To allow others to empower me, to believe in me, to encourage more out of me to break those limits.

    I do think that when we are bold enough to encourage one another and are honest with one another about where we would like to see improvement in our lives (whether work, home, school, etc), the right mentors and guides will come into our lives. I believe we need to seek out mentors who will encourage us and help us learn new skills, and we are more likely to succeed. We are not in this world alone. We all need encouragement. We all face challenges. And we all could use that moment of someone noticing that we are trying and offering their knowledge, recognition, and advice to keep going.

    I am not trying to press religion here, but I do think that today’s Lenten message has good humanitarian reasoning. So I challenge you… How can you either encourage someone or accept encouragement today?

  • Empowerment,  Habits,  Purposeful Living

    Lesson Learned: Forgive to Expand

    “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17

    I check my Instagram messages and type, “Still good for 9:30.” Quickly I get a reply, “Yes, see you there.” I take a big breath. I am nervous. But, Lily and I are committed to meeting an old acquaintance for coffee. This person and I have not spoken in years and our friendship ended abruptly. I didn’t agree with her actions. I felt hurt and betrayed by her. I held a grudge. And I couldn’t forgive her.

    I requested that we grab a coffee. These last few months I have been thinking about her and our relationship. How we actually challenged one another and learned from one another… sharpened one another. We pushed one another’s creativity, competitiveness, leadership, and growth. I learned how to deal with conflict differently because of our experience. She actually sharpened me.

    When Lily and I walked into the coffee shop, she was already there. We walked up to her table and sat. Immediately, I remembered my word of the year “expand” and recognized that in order to expand this year, I needed to forgive. I needed to release my grudge.

    Was it hard? Yes. Was it super uncomfortable? Yes. Did I like feeling humbled? No.

    But when we walked out of the coffee shop nearly 2 hours later, I felt a release of something I have been holding onto with negative intention. It was calming and peaceful. It felt good. It was powerful. It was expanding who I am.

    Lesson learned: Forgiveness isn’t forgetting… it is giving yourself a chance to expand and grow.


  • Empowerment

    Why We All Need Encouragement

    “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” Thessalonians 5:11

    “I am just scared. Scared of failing. Scared of people taking me seriously. Scared of re-creating how people see me. And that is why I toss and turn at 3 am.” I told a good friend while sharing a glass of wine yesterday. Admitting fear takes down the veil. It also allows people to come into your life and reignite that spark that made you want to get started in the first place. When confidence is lacking, encouragement from others is needed.

    Unfortunately, we also live in a world where “independence” is praised, and asking for help is scarier than being up all night worrying. So we learn to suffer solo, which is a very grim world to be in. When we learn to let others into our world, dreams, and visions, we can come up with better plans of action to make them real. We can get that encouragement to keep going. We can gain insight into how to help one another turn an idea into a reality. Sharing is so important.

    Wow! To everyone who reached out yesterday and connected with my blog, thank you. To those of you who have grabbed a coffee, or dealt with my crazy through text, phone calls, in-person chats, and more. Thank you! Having encouragement and insight is amazing! I appreciate all of you!
    Brene Brown often talks about the power of vulnerability. But like many of us out there, especially in leadership positions, I don’t like to be vulnerable. It is just as uncomfortable as not knowing. But it also sparked a ton of amazing conversations, so much encouragement, and helped push past some of those limiting beliefs that caused fear in my mind.

    Cheers to all!



  • Empowerment

    My 3 AM Restless Brain and Anxious Heart

    “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139: 23-24)

    It’s 3 am, and I grab my phone and do the daily Wordle puzzle. It is the 27th night in a row that I have completed this puzzle in the middle of the night, the victory count helps me keep tabs. These middle-of-the-night games should not be my norm- but they are quickly becoming standard. The house is so quiet, except for my racing head. “What’s next? Where are you pointing me to go, God? Just lead and let me follow? I trust you, but would really like some answers as to what your plan is for me. Change is hard and super uncomfortable. I don’t like this uncomfortable feeling, this feeling of not knowing. I wish I could just fall asleep, turn off my head, and find peace for a few more hours…”

    Eventually, sleep returns And the 5:30 alarm goes off, only to start my day, with that same unknowing pit in my belly.

    Insomnia and stress go hand in hand for me. When I am worried, anxious, and not knowing what to expect, I find myself awake thinking, problem-solving, strategizing, and praying for answers. I am not one to get mad at the situation, I simply want to fix it and make it right by my book. And I WANT TO DO IT NOW, and I don’t care if it is 3 am!!! It’s hard to give up that control and trust that things will work out. My personality wants to bulldoze my path forward with confidence and awe. But internally, there is doubt, questioning, and worry, which all manifest in the middle of the night.

    Those limiting beliefs of not being good enough, not knowing what I am doing, and people not taking me seriously all creep into that already noisy mental space. Those voices can be soul-crushing. The question of whether or not my decisions are correct also lingers. Is this the next right step?

    And then (I like to think through divine intervention) it hits me. I want to expand. The anxiousness, though not fun, is calling me to grow. The next step in my growth is to make a decision and begin to follow through, which will build that confidence and fight that limitations and doubt. Failure perhaps is part of that process, but then I will make another decision and try again.

    Without getting everyone’s hopes up, I have some cool things happening this year. They are things I have been thinking about for quite a while now, and it’s time to see where they take me. I can’t share more yet, but soon (probably not tomorrow, or this week, or maybe even this month… but soon). And I am placing all my hope and faith that it helps lead me to something more everlasting.

  • Empowerment

    Being Humbled: Progress Not Perfection

    It is January 4th and I pick up the barbell to do a set of overhead squats as part of my current training program. I put the bar overhead and begin to lower myself into a squat. I can’t do it. My arms won’t stay up. I feel like I am being pulled forward and may fall on my face.

    I want to muscle my way through the motion… but I seriously can’t. I throw the bar to the floor. I FAIL.

    Frustrated I grab the PVC pipe, hit record on my phone, and try again. Then I send the video to my brother. “Help me fix this, PLEASE!”

    Within moments I get a reply the length of a book. He points out how I am leaning forward. He gives me a few suggested drills to help increase my shoulder mobility and work on the overhead squat. I get to work.

    I am a firm believer in the saying “progress not perfection.” But I am also one that will practice like hell to get it right. So I get to work. I stretch. I work on engaging different muscle groups, I work on shoulder mobility.

    A week later, thinking that with all the work I put in during the week, I am finally ready to master this overhead squat. I get the bar up, pull it back, and get my shoulders back. I begin to squat. I can’t. Literally, I can’t go down. I feel like I am falling backward.

    Probably more frustrated than the previous week, I drop the barbell, grab the PVC pipe, hit record on my phone, videoed myself, and sent it to my brother. “Help, what am I doing now? ”

    Again, he is quick to reply. Being a good coach he points out my corrections. Tells me to keep practicing, and gives me some more exercises to help me make the needed improvements. And I get back to work.

    Then this week, humbled by previous weeks of failure, I skipped the barbell and went straight to the PVC pipe. I prepare myself. and begin to overhead squat. Immediately, I can tell these ones feel different. My shoulders are engaged, my back feels straighter, and the depth of my squat feels good. I grabbed my phone and hit record….

    WOW!!! That looks better was my only response. I sent it to my brother. Again, I get a response, only this time impressed with how far my overhead squat has come. In true brotherly fashion, he did give me a few pointers and techniques, minor corrections in the grand scheme of things, but overall he was impressed.

    And I felt proud.

    Being humbled by something you can’t do is difficult to stomach sometimes, especially as an adult when we don’t try new things very often. Every ounce felt weak when I couldn’t do this squat. It was deflating. It was frustrating.

    But I did learn a few lessons along the way to help. These lessons can be applied to anything you are looking to improve.

    1.) Remove the weight- take the load off.
    2.) Hit video record- sometimes looking at it from a different angle will help you too.
    3.) Let someone better than you take a look at the video and offer insight.
    4.) Work on small details, because they are all connected to the big goal.
    5.) Think progress, not perfection.
    6.) Practice.
    7.) Be patient, you won’t fix it overnight.
    8.) All reps count, keep recording, keep getting coaching, and keep practicing.
    9.) You will get it.

    When feeling like you are failing, don’t walk away and pout in frustration. Instead, use these steps. They can be applied to anything from athletic movement, presentations, training for work, and so much more.

  • Empowerment,  Habits

    Making A Change Is Hard: Do a Challenge

    There are a few things that I love about a 6 Week Challenge, whether it is focused on fitness, finances, relationships, spirituality, or some other area in your life. Here are 3 reasons why I think starting habit change with a challenge is a great beginning point.

    1.) There is a starting and ending date.
    Most of the time when we think about creating new habits, it is something that can be overwhelming. Seeing a starting and ending date gives you an advantage. An end date allows you to keep the eye on the prize. Personally, I think 6 weeks is a good amount of time. Typically, it takes 21 days to start to build the habit. It takes longer to make it part of who you are and your lifestyle. 6 weeks ingrains the habit into who you are, without feeling the pressures of lifelong commitment. By seeing the end date, you can build your confidence when you hit it. That confidence is so valuable to pursuing any change.

    2.) Challenges normally come with others who are doing it with you and a coach to support you.
    Having multiple people involved gives you a sense of community, support, and accountability. The cliche that it takes a village to raise a child, is also so true when it comes to changing your habits. People think that making changes is a lonely hard process. They are scared to ask for help. But the truth is when you have like-minded people make the changes together and a coach guiding you, you will achieve success. You have others to give guidance, offer support, keep you focused, and celebrate the smallest wins.

    3.) Challenges include invaluable knowledge.
    The other cliche is “knowledge is power.” But it is true. And the amount of knowledge you gain during a challenge is invaluable. During a challenge, you will be forced to learn. When you learn something, it can never be taken away from you. During a challenge, you will be forced to problem-solve. Those lessons will last longer than the length of the challenge. During a challenge, you will face adversity. Your perseverance will grow and be with you forever. If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you. And a challenge is designed to help you make those positive changes.

    So, now that the New Year’s Resolutions are starting to become harder, maybe research different ways you can get in on a challenge to help you begin fresh, find community, and learn.

  • Communication,  Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    How to Powerfully Push Past Risk

    I have been writing a lot about risk and change lately. It is not bad. You can’t avoid change. The days change. You receive change. Your body changes. Relationships change. You name it. Change is out there. Many people spend so much time serving and avoiding change at all costs. But, eventually, it will find you. You cannot hide forever.

    People avoid change because with change comes risk. And the risk is probably scarier than the idea of changing. What if I join a gym, do not go, don’t see results, and lose all my money? Sounds risky. Sounds scary. We often paint the worst-case scenario in our lives. We think about the failure and it fuels us to avoid the risk.

    But as Kelly Clarkson so proudly declares in her song “Stronger,” “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…” And here is where I have been focusing my efforts for years. Instead of focusing on the moment of failure, focus on the moment after. The re-evaluate, the lesson learned, the rebuild moment. If you don’t succeed what happens? If you do succeed what happens? Either way, you learn, you grow, and you flourish… even in failure.

    I was a volleyball player. And literally, every point you allowed was a point of failure. The ball either hit the floor or your side or you hit it out of bounce on the other side. One thing most volleyball players have become trained to do is after the volley, everyone meets in the middle. We re-evaluate what happened and we celebrate the success or correct the failure. Lessons are immediately learned then applied with the next serve. There is no time to dwell on the mistake. There is no time to assess risk. And there is definitely no time to stop. You keep moving forward.

    I watched Lily, my 4-year-old learn this lesson while playing with her magnetic tiles. She was in her room and every so often I would hear this grunt of frustration, then the whole tiled building collapsed. She would rebuild it. And again, another grunt of frustration and the building collapsed. Finally, in a moment of exhilaration, she yelled, “Mom, come here, look at this.” And she built this beauty. A pentagon of colors and fun. An atypical design. A change from the normal square and cubes. Something out of the box. She risked. She rebuilt. She learned. And you can too.

    Despite the frustration, she rebuilt it until it was a success!



    The tool to develop is to focus on the rebuild and the moment about what happens next. The tool is to go into everything with the mentality that lessons will be learned, not failure happened. Lessons learned sound a lot less scary than “I risked and failed.” No, you risked, you learned, and you moved forward. So let’s make this year the year we think about the rebuild and the lesson, not the year of the avoidance to change and failure.

  • Empowerment,  Habits,  Purposeful Living

    Wednesday Wisdom: Why Taking Physical Action Benefits So Much More

    I had a client yesterday say that she was ready to make a change physically. However, our discussion took a much different turn. We ended up talking more about emotional and mental health. It’s true when you find physical success, your mental and emotional health grows as a result of that success.

    Those things that tend to scare us a little; for example, learning something new, making a commitment, or changing the direction of schooling, a business, or a career, test who we are at the foundation of our beings. Typically, being “new” or making a change is uncomfortable. It is out of that comfort zone. We are unsure of who or what we are in that new space. In order to make those changes, it takes risks. And risks are more terrifying than those monsters hiding under the bed when we were kids. SImply put, we don’t want to fail.

    When we decide to commit to making that change, that is where we grow. We grow phyically, mentally, and emotionally. Where more people make the mistake is that the commitment to change doesn’t need to be huge. Physically, you don’t need to go to the extreme. In fact, I never recommend that. Why? I think extreme change is hard and unsustainable. You are setting yourself up for failure. But let’s say physically, you start by setting your alarm for 5 minutes earlier in the morning for 1 week. With that 5 minutes, you incorporate some morning stretches. Physically, your body will improve its flexibility, which as we age is super important. And after 1 week, you feel proud of yourself for sticking with your commitment. Mentally, you are also building strength and growth. Stretching tends to help clear the mind. By following through on the 5 minutes a day, you are building confidence and self- credibility. With that confidence, you are emotionally more stable.

    This small improvement to your physical health will give you the power to try (or take a slightly bigger risk) another physical task. Maybe signing up for a yoga class once a week to not only improve that flexibility but balance as well. Or maybe making the physical commitment to after 5 minutes of stretching in the morning, drinking a glass of water (so many physical health benefits there).

    The point is not necessarily about exercise. When we physically do something, take physical action toward something, we grow. And that action, that physical growth, also builds your mental and emotional growth as well. It could be finally making that dentist appointment you have been neglecting for 5 years (action in the process is growth). It could be making the decision to physically wire money into your investment portfolio each week. It doesn’t matter. What matters is the action leads to growth. Learning leads to growth. Being uncomfortable leads to growth.

    What physical actions are you doing this week that will help you grow? Let’s share in the comments. And if you like this and other posts, please subscribe.

  • Communication,  Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    Ah-ha!!! I had an Epiphany!

    On the Christian calendar, January 6th is Epiphany Day. Others sometimes refer to this day as the 12th Day of Christmas. On the Epiphany, Christ is manifested by the Gentiles, who were represented by the Magi. They came bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. I once did I Bible Study where the lecturer discussed how these gifts helped provide the means and income for Jesus’s family to escape to Egypt and survive there during his infancy and escape Herod the Great’s plan to kill all young boys (2 and under) in the Bethleham vicinity. This lecture was a sort of epiphany for me and my understanding of how God provides.

    A nativity scene in lights! At Michigan International Speedway!

    This leads me to the second definition of “epiphany.” According to Webster’s Dictionary, an epiphany is an intimate grasp of reality through something (such as an event) usually simple and striking; an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure. Some of us call this the “ah-ha” moment. Cartoons capture this moment by a light bulb going on above a character’s head.

    When was the last time you had an “ah-ha” moment? Sometimes when I have these moments I feel young again. They inspire me to want to learn, discover new things, and seek knowledge. Ah-ha moments are motivational. There is growth. There is excitement. There are questions on how to apply this new knowledge.

    I am not saying that you can have “ah-ha” moments every day of your life… But what if you strived for a deeper understanding of something once a month? In order to do so, you must learn something new, find new experiences, get out of your comfort zone, and try. An epiphany will probably alter you in some way, whether it is how you approach a certain situation, where you place your time and treasure, or deeply spiritual. Not all ephipanies need to rattle your core, but they should make you deepen your understanding enough that you remember those moments.

    I had already mentioned the epiphany I had during Bible Study. I also follow several professional development coaches. A few years ago I was on a coaching call with Michael Bernoff. He is big on helping people have “ah-ha” moments. One of the biggest “ah-ha” moments I have taken away from him was this: when you say you are going to do something, then don’t do it… you are destroying your own personal self-credibility, which will also destroy your confidence and ultimately the best version of yourself. For example, you tell yourself (no one even needs to know), that you are going to get up at 5:30 and go to the gym. But when the alarm goes off you hit snooze until 7 am. By not getting to the gym like you intended, you are telling yourself that you are not credible. You do not follow through on what you say. Not having self-credibility can affect so many things in life- business, relationships, who you say you are, and more. This was an epiphany to me, and to tell the truth, one of the driving forces on why I get out of bed so early every day. If I have even the intention to do it- workouts, blog, clean the house, reach out to a member, etc… I want to make sure I get it done. I want to build my self credibility. I want to be the person that I say I am to others. And it all starts with following through with my intentions. It’s not crazy. But it was life-altering. When the alarm goes off, guess what I do? I get out of bed. Why? Because my self-credibility is on the line.

    On this day of the Epiphany… I want to hear some of your “ah-ha” moments. Your epiphanies. Comment below. And feel free to subscribe and follow! 🙂

  • Habits,  Productivity,  Purposeful Living

    But First, Get Me My Coffee

    Morning routines. We all have them. Some of us rise with the first alarm. Others snooze 12 times before getting out of bed. Some of us make our bed right away, while others choose not to make their bed at all. Some of us drink water in the morning. Others want to shake their coffee machine because it can’t brew fast enough.

    Our routines are our habits. It is a reflection of what we most consistently do. While I do drink water, have a protein shake, and take my supplements while the coffee is brewing, it is still part of my routine. This morning, disaster. Somehow our BUNN coffee maker got turned off. The water that poured through the grinds was cold. The coffee… clear. Disappointing? Yes. Annoying? Yes. Devasting? Could have been, depending on the day.

    I didn’t even like coffee until I was 34. That is what happens when you have a two year old and a newborn… you drink coffee to have a little energy for both. Now, I find myself making a cup for all kinds of random things. My hands are cold, let me make a cup of coffee. I need to focus on a project, let me make a cup of coffee first. It is quiet in the house, let me enjoy it with a cup of coffee. I just ate too much dinner, might as well have a cup of coffee.

    I know I am not alone. Sometimes I wonder if we replaced the smoke break with the coffee break. I have never been a smoker, but I can see how taking a moment to make a cup of coffee can help you slow down, realign your thoughts, and breathe. I could be wrong. But I could also see it.

    But, back to my original point… My coffee maker didn’t work today. I feel the hiccup in my morning routine. I feel like I am missing something without the warm cup in my hand, the savory smell, and the bitter taste. Please… get me my coffee!

  • Empowerment,  Habits,  Productivity

    Back to the Gym… Congrats!

    For everyone who is starting a fitness routine, or getting back into the gym… CONGRATS! It isn’t easy! And you are getting better.

    I took 10 days away from the gym. In my world, it seems like a lifetime.
    To be completely honest on Monday, I convinced myself to skip my workout. I knew it was going to hurt. I would be sore… and I didn’t want to do it. I let my excuses get the best of me.

    But on Tuesday, I ditched all excuses and got it in. I lifted. I taught a class. I did a Bas Rutten. Needless to say, I didn’t ease back into anything. And, I feel it today. My chest and shoulders are sore. My abs are sore. My legs and booty are sore. But I am glad I got back after it. It feels good to be back in my routine.


    I know starting/ or getting back into a routine is hard. So for everyone who took the first step in creating a new habit, a new choice, and a new lifestyle…. or for everyone who decided to start again (even if it is for the 25th time), CONGRATS! It isn’t easy. It will suck at times. But the journey is worth it in the end. Staying focused on the long-term result and taking it one day at a time will get you there.

    Need help with staying committed? That is another topic for another day. 🙂 Today, celebrate the fact that you did it (despite the soreness or other struggles along the way). And know that people are proud of you and recognize that it takes a lot of courage, grit, perseverance, and determination to start again.

  • Habits,  Purposeful Living

    Finding a Moment of Stillness

    “Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalm 42:10

    Stillness… I think we all need it. A moment to breathe, clear our thoughts, and just be… Taking a moment to not play any role. A moment to release all expectations. A moment to find peace. A moment to hand over any problems. Even if it is just for 2 seconds… be still…

    I am a sunrise girl. I love waking up while it is still dark. I love the quiet of the early morning before the kids start playing, the TV gets turned on, and the traffic on the road picks up. It is my time to think, plan, pray, and prepare for the day. Then something magical starts to happen. The sky becomes a little brighter. The sun begins to rise, sometimes a glowing orange ball and sometimes a hazy light in a gray sky.

    No matter the day, I glance out my kitchen slider to see how the sun is rising, symbolizing a new day of fresh possibilities. I pause. Stillness. This moment is mine. Be still, and know.

    I breathe. Sometimes I take a sip of coffee and am thankful for another day, another sunrise, and another opportunity to do my best. I find calmness deep in my soul. Sometimes I just look out in awe of what is capable.

    Sometimes, if the time is just right, I sneak outside and take a picture or two and post the sunrise on social media. This moment that I hit the pause button has been picked up by my kids. Not too many days ago, Lily looks at the sky one morning and said, “Mom, look there is a pink rainbow in the sky.” I also learned this morning that my sneaking out to take a picture was also captured by my two little ones because Jack then promptly says, “Can we go take a picture with our tablets?” So much for being discreet.

    This is that morning in mid-October when the kids insisted
    on taking a picture. It was special….

    But it is in those moments (not minutes, not hours, not days), that I find peace. Where the chaos of the day doesn’t exist. A sunrise really is but a powerful moment. Each is a little different, and never at the exact same time. Always changing.

    Do you have a moment in the day that you pause for stillness?

  • Purposeful Living

    Happy New Year and Happy Birthday(s)

    Day 1 of 365. It also happens to be my birthday. Like New Year’s Day of 2023, I too was born on a Sunday. So when New Year’s falls on a Sunday, it feels like the stars align a little extra straight for me.

    Aside from a fresh start, New Year’s is a special time for my family. My husband’s birthday is New Year’s Eve. You can say that I am the Alpha to his Omega. Where one celebration ends, the other begins. We had met a few times before through mutual friends, but the night we actually had a real conversation (about the Pittsburgh Pirates, Heath Miller, Penn State football, and Yeungling beer) was at a New Year’s Eve party at my house. That night I was wearing a Happy Birthday crown, and he made sure that I knew not to claim my birthday until midnight. Before that, it was definitely his birthday.

    The birthday celebrations don’t just stop on New Year’s Day. My mom’s birthday is January 2 and my sister-in-law’s birthday is January 3rd (which to add to the complexity and oddness of this event, her mother’s birthday is also January 2nd).

    Growing up, every New Year’s Day was a big event at my house. My mom and dad would throw a party to watch the football bowl games, and celebrate both of our birthdays. I remember years when there were 30+ people at my parents’ house, and 4 TVs were connected in the living room so you didn’t miss a second of any game on TV. People were playing cards in the basement. The kitchen was set up buffet style with Kielbasa and saurkraut roasting all day long. At some point my grandfather Pops would sing at least one college fight song. And after each game, people would line up at the closet door because there hung the long sheet of paper that was our College Football Poll, and money was on the line. We all couldn’t wait to see who would win.

    Some traditions never change. This year there may not have been 30 people at mom and dad’s house. But we still had the football poll going, and yelled at the TV when our teams won or lost. We still had saurkraut and Kielbasa. Kids still ran the house, and two even made it up to midnight. We still sang Happy Birthday- only now we have to do it 4 times instead of just 2.

    And it is still one of my favorite times of the year. Ringing in a New Year, being with family, celebrating birth, staying up too late, and indulging a little much… That is New Year’s. And that is a great way to set the tone for the year- celebrating, family, love, and life.

    And then to go to bed after a good day and realize that 2023 is full of possibilities. It’s day 1 of 365. It is unwritten…. Cheers to 2023, and Happy New Year!

    From my family to your’s Happy 2023….
  • Productivity,  Purposeful Living

    Hasta La Vista, Christmas… In a Few Days!

    Walking past a half-dead poinsettia, I picked it up, walked to the back sliding door, and tossed it on the deck. It’s December 26th, and Christmas in this house is officially OVER!

    I enjoy a month of decor, color, and sparkling lights. But after a month, the rooms feel like they are collapsing in on me. I can’t breathe. Everything is so full, I can’t wait to purge. I can’t wait for rooms to feel big again. I can’t wait to find a spot to set my coffee cup on the end table without having to move something or pray a dang poinsettia leaf won’t fall into it.

    So here I am, minutes after we unwrap each present, putting it all away. In the midst of packing up the totes of Nutcrackers (literally Matthew has collected hundreds over the years), I had an epiphany of sorts. Maybe we are all doing Christmas wrong. Maybe we start too early and are over it too soon.

    Our society has lost the meaning of Christmas. Though we have songs about the “12 Days of Christmas” most people couldn’t tell you when the 12 days of Christmas begin or end. The first day of Christmas is Christmas Day. That’s right- the day we all celebrate. Day 12 is January 6th. The day the three wise men came to Jesus bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

    Obviously, we have created a consumerist culture that celebrates the “preparation” for Christmas. Advent calendars, events, parties, shopping, wrapping, baking, visiting Santa… each year there seems like there is more to do to prepare for Christmas and spend money. And yes, I think it is important to prepare for Christmas. But for me, I do all this preparation so that the day after the event, I can’t wait another moment to put it all away. Hasta la vista, Christmas…

    So while washing and packing all the Christmas dish towels and oven mitts, I continued to think about this epiphany. How can we celebrate these next 12 days? The preparation time is over. Now it is time to party. Am I partying or leaving the party early? It is a 12-day event… and I tapped out after 24 hours. How would life be different if I went into the New Year with a different attitude?

    In the midst of purging, I hit pause on Operation Bye-Bye Christmas. I am going to leave the tree up. It isn’t the pretty tree that we put up the day after Thanksgiving. The needles are falling off. The ornaments that are sagging on the branches. But it is my reminder to still celebrate.

  • Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    4 Reasons Perseverance Fails

    This week the theme of the studio is all about PERSEVERANCE, which we define as reaching the point of past failure and deciding to continue. I have really been thinking about this definition and how much perseverance is lacking. I came up with four, fairly simple reasons why.

    1.) We are safe. For the most part we don’t have to really fight for anything. Athletes experience perseverance in order to win. Some business owners have to persevere in order to keep their businesses open. But the every day, middle class citizen is pretty safe- they have the necessities (food, shelter, clothing) and then some. There is no need to fight for food, water, life.

    2.) Instant Gratification. Just like we are safe, we can get almost anything we want instantly (or within 2 days with Amazon Prime). Patience is dead, and with the perseverance is dying as well.

    3.) Accountability. If you are the only person on Earth who knows if you persevered that day or gave up, it is really easy to give up. Once you are forced to be held accountable, you are more likely to persevere to achieve something. Without accountability the only person you are letting yourself down, which then can spiral into all other kinds of personal damage like lack of self-confidence or self-credibility– that that is a conversations for a different day.

    4.) Failure is easier. And let’s be honest, as humans we naturally go toward what is easy EVERY. CHANCE. WE. GET.

    I am sure many of you will agree that at least one of these four reasons to be true. How do you discover perseverance through this? It is all a shift in the story you tell yourself.

    1.) Tell yourself failure is off the table. Failure is not an option. Come up with the next step. Then take it. NOW! And that is one way to persevere.

    2.) Find a coach or accountability buddy that you don’t want to let down. During my athletic days, I never wanted to let down my teammates. I would show up to practice early, I would work on my “game” in order to uphold my end of the bargain to make my team better. Do you have someone like this? If not, start hanging around people who are dedicated to the same results you want to achieve, or hire a coach. The investment you put into learning the value of perseverance will far out pay the money spent.

    3.) Find gratification in the small wins of a job well done. If you decided to push past a past failure and did one more, that is a win. Celebrate it. Give yourself a positive pep talk that you have gotten better. Pretty soon doing one more is easy, however, over time that one more adds up drastically and so will your perseverance muscle.

    4.) Remember why you started! So many people have a reason why they started something. Then what ever their goal is becomes hard. It is easier to quit then continue. The pain of continuing is more immediate than the pain of not reaching their end goal. Therefore, once again quitting becomes easy. However, if you remember you why… your end goal, many times you will find the motivation to no give up, to not be a quitter, and to push past failure, and take that next step— to PERSEVERE!

    These are just some of my thoughts. I would love to hear yours. Feel free to comment below. Let’s have a real conversation about this… and what you believe it means to really persevere and succeed.

  • Empowerment,  Productivity

    Life Lessons From The Tortoise and the Hare

    Do you remember the fable? Yes, the one we read in elementary school. The Tortoise and the Hare is when the quick rabbit challenged the slow and steady turtle to a race. Determined that he will win, the Hare decides he will take a nap, but he oversleeps. In the mean time, the slow and steady Tortoise passes the sleeping Hare and wins. The morale of the story, slow and steady.

    Now, to bring it to real life. A few weeks ago, my in-law’s dog Charlie comes sauntering up to the house with something in it’s mouth. It was a turtle. I live about a quarter of a mile from my in-laws, but our property has a nice sized pond. We thought it would be a good idea to put the rescued (un-injured) turtle into our pond to live. So we packed him up and brought him home.

    When we got home we let the little guy loose. He scurried to the pond faster than I realized a turtle could move.

    A week later, I found the turtle in our turn around on our driveway. He was sun bathing, moving at the normal turtles pace, but also moving away from the pond. Because, that pond was not his home.

    A few days later, Charlie finds his turtle friend again, a quarter mile from our pond. It took him two weeks to make it back to his starting place, but he got there. Moving slowly, steadily in the direction of where he wanted to be.

    How many times have you rushed to where you want to be? In the fitness industry, it is seen everywhere. Do this magical workout. Take this special pill. Try this new diet. We all want to be there fast. But what if, for once we had the mindset and determination of the turtle. He got there (and will continue his journey to where ever he was trying to get to before Charlie discovered him). He moved slow and steady. He pursued “there” despite dogs and humans setting him back. Heck, he even took some time to sun bathe.

    I say all of this while our studio is starting a 4 week fitness challenge. Personally, for most people, challenges are for those “hares.” Those people who want results now and don’t want to find the slow and steady. But I also know that for others, challenges tend to spark and interest to try something new and maybe develop the habits to keep the changes made longer than just the 4 weeks.

    I tend to opt out of many of our challenges. But, this time, I am experimenting with something slightly new. I am going to think like the tortoise. I am going to use the 4 weeks to analyze my summer set backs (food, beverage, sugar choices). Like the turtle, I am going to pursue where I was and where I want to be with a slow and steady yet determined and relentless mindset. And I am going to live the healthy lifestyle that I want to live more often than I currently do.

    Morale of this story: It’s okay to have your own journey. You will have set backs. You will need a break to enjoy the sun. You will be thrown off course by things completely out of your control– but keep your eye on where you ultimately want to end up and relentlessly pursue that vision no matter how slow and steady you get there.

  • Communication,  Empowerment,  Productivity,  Purposeful Living

    STOP Creating Your Own Adversity!

    Last week I mentioned how adversity just sometimes happens. But sometimes, I hate to say it, we create our own adversity. I have an ego that is like “Superwoman:” I can DO IT ALL, and THEN SOME!!!! I like to feel like Mighty Mouse walking around boldly singing, “Here I come to save the day.” … And then I try, which means I take on too much, my day becomes jammed full, and before I even recognize it, I am problem solving a problem that I created.

    Normally, feeling like you are saving the day allows adrenaline to kick in, giving me energy. I begin to say things like, “I am helping,” “Look at all the stuff that got checked of my to-do list.” “I am so productive.” I finish the day tired, but satisfied that it all got done. I feel victorious and accomplished. These feelings tell me I did good, which outweighs the fact that I have been running around like a mad-woman all day and am totally exhausted.

    The feeling of victory releases good hormones in my brain–Dopamine and serotonin. These are the same addicting hormones that happen when you do drugs. My drug addiction becomes “saving the day.” The thing is, after a few days, weeks, or months… I become physically, emotionally, and mentally stressed out and tired. I just want someone to step in and help… but (here’s a big secret) I am bad at/ or don’t like to ask people for help. Therefore, I feel alone and stuck. This feeling again is a form of adversity, though 100% self induced.

    For the last year I have been very conscious of this problem. I have purposely said “no” to taking on some projects because I don’t want the added stress on my plate. I have began to analyze the problems in front of me differently. I have created awareness that I can’t do it all, but I can do something.

    I have learned that “doing something” sometimes means asking for help from others. Or, that “doing something” means that I can teach others how to do it. Or, that “doing something” means that a project can take longer than 24 hours to complete and it’s okay to split it up over the course of time. I have learned that “doing something” can have a one hour time limit, and it’s okay to turn it off when the time limit is up.

    I used to say that one of my greatest strengths was that I could get so many things done. What I now realize is that one of my greatest strengths also has the potential to be my greatest weakness. Saving the day has it’s perks… but even super heros need breaks.

  • Communication,  Empowerment

    Your Community Matters: Importance, Growth, Connection, Contribution

    2020 has taught me a million lessons, however, this one is important and very simple, community matters. By definition the word community means “a group of people living within the same space or having a particular characteristic in common.”

    But, of all the things I value in life, community ranks extremely high on the list. Why?

    Community gives me a sense of connection. Though we are being asked to redefine “social,” we are social creatures. I need to feel connected to others, to share, to experience, to create stories and ideas, to hear and understand other’s stories and ideas. The connection that comes through community is valuable.

    Community gives me a sense of importance. Within my community I know that I matter. My community supports me, challenges me, holds me accountable to my goals. It is good to feel important.

    Community gives me a opportunity for growth. Many of the communities that I am involved in challenge me in some way, asking me to continue to grow and become better.

    Community allows me to contribute. Whether it is sharing my ideas or helping grow the community, when I am contributing, I am a deeper part of the community. I know I matter to the community just as much as the community matters to me.

    I will not lie, 2020 has asked us to take community in all kinds of different directions. My Toastmaster’s group is able to meet virtually and we are learning how to speak and gain confidence in our leadership abilities in the virtual world. These meetings have been valuable. We have worked on how to pace our speaking, how to present our ideas in a powerful way through a virtual platform like Zoom. Because we are a smaller, fairly tight-knit community, we were able to transition to this platform fairly seamlessly. And we can all share ideas and chat before or after the meeting. If you are interested in checking out our virtual meetings or learning about how to speak better on the virtual platform, let me know! You will always be welcomed in our community.

    At the studio we are trying to build a hybrid type community. We have some members who are not ready to come into the studio yet, and that is okay. I love seeing them on the ZOOM calls and punching and kicking through the iPad. But, we are also fortunate enough to allow members back into the studio and continue to grow the in-person community. In order to keep everyone safe we have exceeded the CDC regulations. Members don’t have to share equipment, everyone is spaced 6′ apart, we have two air purifiers running at all times, every surface is disinfected and cleaned in between classes, we do temperature checks and members sign a waiver that they have not had COVID-19 symptoms before coming to class, masks are worn when coming in and out of the studio where social distancing cannot be practiced. This community is important to us, and so is each person’s health and safety. If you want to check out a class either in person or virtually let me know, I would love to show you what our community has to offer.

    But most importantly, it is great to feel the connection of community again, to see a smiling face and feel important, to learn from someone and grow, and to leave a meeting or a class and know that you contributed and participated in a positive way. Those feelings, that connection and growth, is why community matters, and why I place tons of value in my communities.

  • Communication,  Empowerment

    Sharing Ideas Ignites Passion

    Yesterday I got to share in a powerful brainstorming session with a good friend. She desires to write a book. As we talked and shared stories, her face lit up with energy and passion about her project. You could see the wheels turning in her brain as we developed possibilities for her book.

    “I can’t wait to get home and start writing,” is how we left our brainstorming session. With an action plan in hand, she found new motivation to put her dream into words.

    This experience brought me back to my teaching days. One of my favorite parts of teaching was to sit down with students and help them think. As we talked, they developed ideas. Soon, their ideas had organization, structure, and powerful prose that they were proud of.

    I try to do the same thing at the kickboxing studio. I enjoy sitting down with members, discussing their goals, and strategizing ways for them to achieve their results. Members faces light up when they realize that a healthy, confident lifestyle can be theirs.

    But, sharing ideas and dreams can also be scary. It is as if you say it out loud, and the universe knows your desires. You have the possibility of being judged. It places you in an area of vulnerability that makes many (including me) uncomfortable.

    Though I have developed the art of listening with a non-judgemental, helpful ear… I sometimes feel vulnerable when I want to share my ideas. In fact, I have chose to not share much since March. Personally, I think the world has been very “judgey” lately, and I don’t want to be judged. Therefore, I have chosen to be silent. I write in a personal journal, where it is not read by anyone and, therefore, safe.

    But this brainstorming session yesterday was actually really powerful. It allowed me to see that I, too, need to share ideas in order to re-ignite my passion as well. When I was studying literature in grad school, I used to argue that storytelling kept us human. It is the sharing of experiences, thoughts, and deep connections that allows us to feel, learn, and grow.

    Yesterday’s brainstorming and sharing of ideas allowed me to find my creative spirit again. It allowed me to think, and ultimately to be inspired in a way that I haven’t felt since March. It was great to have two of us leave a conversation with the inspiration and motivation to put our ideas into words.

  • Empowerment,  Productivity,  Purposeful Living

    Eliminate Your Case of the Mondays

    Show of hands… how many of you hate Mondays? That alarm goes off Monday morning and you immediately hit snooze and wish there was a way to magically turn back time to Sunday morning. I totally get it, I mean no one really likes Monday. It is 5 days until the weekend when you can relax again… right? What if there was a way to make Mondays less dreadful?

    One way I make the start of the week less stressful is by actually shifting the start of my week from Monday to Sunday. Sundays have a different tone. They are a slower paced day, a day for fun and family, a day for worship and love, a day for connection… and for me also a day for planning. When I shifted the start of my week to Sunday, I realized that I can actually be more prepared throughout the week and can start my week more centered and balanced than full of work and overwhelm.

    On Sundays I plan my week. I sit down for about 30 minutes and write down the things that must get done. This “must list” includes events going on, appointments, meetings, workout times, work projects, bills that need to get paid, and more. Next I schedule what I am going to get done each day. When I schedule these things, I keep to them just like would a doctor’s appointment, which helps me stay focused and accountable throughout the week and remain efficient.

    Once my week is planned, I look at groceries that need to be bought and make my list. I also evaluate what chores need to be completed and set up a schedule for the week. This entire planning period is less than 45 minutes, but saves me so much stress throughout the week, especially Monday morning. Why? Because I have a plan that I can attack the week with to get me moving.

    Then I turn it all off and have some fun! I relax, I play with the kids, I laugh and smile! I am ready for the rest of the week, and that is a pretty powerful way to start the week.

    When I switched from my week starting on Monday to Sunday, I get to start my week on my own terms- my terms of inspirations, fun, excitement, and relaxation… not with the stress that Monday tends to provide, and for me that has made a load of difference in my overall happiness.

  • Empowerment

    Truth Moment: Why I am Scared of Judgment

    I have been battling a fear of judgment lately. I find myself second-guessing things that used to come naturally to me. Do you feel me? Have you been there? Here is what I do to help.

    For me, I used to be very confident. I felt like the expert in the room. I felt like my opinions and knowledge changed lives. Then, I made the decision to make a major career change. I became a newbie again. I dared myself to suck. I have to put myself out there and learn. And it is scary.

    Every day I go to take action and immediately my limiting beliefs begin screaming. I don’t think people will take my career change seriously. I feel like my expertise is not up to par. I feel like everyone will be laughing behind my back, rolling their eyes and not supporting me. At times, those beliefs create anxiety, stress, and debilitating fear.

    Then I have to take a big breath, put on my big girl pants, and take action. I know that I made my decision to make a career shift because I needed growth. I needed to be challenged. I wanted to expand in 2023. I also really saw an opportunity to help and serve people in a similar way that I had already I a ton of experience in: coaching. But I disrupted how people saw me. I had to rebrand myself. And people don’t like change. When someone changes, it is hard for the people in their lives.

    After I remember my need for growth and change, I put on my big girl pants, and get my mind right. I tend to play a song that gives me some motivation and inspiration. Right now it is Carrie Underwood’s “The Champion.” This song connects with my ultimate goals. It shifts my perspective. It pumps me up, and recenters my goals.

    Next, I remind myself that there are two sides to judgment- positive and negative. Most of the time people only think of judgement as strictly negative. You truly can’t live in a judgment-free space (though Planet Fitness makes millions of dollars saying they are judgment-free). Truly, you have to have both… In fact, someone once told me that the worst place to be in Switzerland. People are going to love you or hate you… that is when you have influence and leadership. If you are neutral you really don’t have any power, you can’t truly serve, and there is no one really to lead.

    The people who value and care about me will judge me in a positive way. I will inspire, motivate, be supported by those people. Those who are going to judge me negatively don’t really matter. I ask myself, “Do I really care about what others say about me behind my back?” And if they are negatively talking about me, they don’t support me and I don’t need them in my life. When I think about the true people I want in my circle, I am okay if relationships based on negative judgment are abandoned, for those relationships are not ones that serve me and help me grow.

    Once I remind myself that judgment has two sides, I take action with the people I want to help and serve in mind. Whether it is a Facebook post, a phone call, or a networking event, I need to put myself out there and know that there are people that I can help. When I act with this in mind, it makes judgment not matter. It builds my confidence. It fuels my desire to learn more to become more of an expert. It makes me want to make better connections and expand my circle in a new way.

    Stepping back, I need to remind myself that judgment is a part of life, and to get to where you want to go, it will happen and make you uncomfortable. It is scary when you focus on the negative. But when you shift your perspective and rely on the positive, you figure out how you can contribute, lead, and serve others. Taking action on your goals becomes easier. You learn to take risks again. You learn who supports you. You grow. And you continue to challenge yourself and regain and rebuild your confidence. You got this.

  • Uncategorized

    Goal Achievement Success Secret: It’s Never a Straight Line!

    The famous mathematician, Archimedes said “the shortest distance between two points in a straight line.” And we, as humans have been trying to make the paths of our lives shorter for millennia. We want things quickly. We want them easily. And we want to put in the littlest amount of work possible.

    I know I have been there too.

    But unfortunately, when it comes to our goals… very rarely is it ever a straight line. In the financial world, I watch as stock markets look like rollercoasters- climbing, peaking, falling, climbing, falling. It is part of the process. In the fitness industry, I saw it with weight loss graphs- some days weight would drop, others it would wise. I see it when driving on 475 and have to detour to the other lane because they are working on the northbound lane. I see it on the look of my daughters face when she is understanding and memorizing her ABC’s then forgets and becomes frustrated, defeated. I saw this when I taught the writing process to college freshmen. We all think writing is linear. I brainstorm, I draft, I revise, I edit, I submit a final draft. But the truth it isn’t even close. New ideas will form as you write. You will edit and revise and edit and revise and edit and revise and brainstorm and edit and draft and edit and revise and brainstorm and edit and draft and draft and edit and revise and draft and brainstorm and edit and revise (did I make you dizzy yet) more times than you can count. The point is that your life and your goals are the same way. It is everywhere, it is dizzy, it is messy, it is able to be drafted and edited and go up and down in circles even.

    Yes, we will have moments of ease and amazement, that seem too good to be true. Where the ride is smooth, steady, quick, painless. But remember we will also have times and seasons when things are twisting, turning, heading in the opposite direction.

    The point is on difficult days, remember your goals and what you seek. Your “why” is important. It is the driving factor of why you started in the first place. Then seek coaching, guidance, accountability, assistance, or help. Maybe someone will be able to straighten out your path, align your wheels, or help turn you back in the right direction. Maybe someone will be able to cut the clutter, eliminate the distractions, find the slightly new path. Maybe someone will be able to just listen to what you are trying to make happen and allow the brainstorming to take place. Or maybe someone will know of a new better way to get to the same end result.

    For those of you that must hear it today: Stay on the path, my friends, even when it is a crazy one. The end result will be worth it.

  • Uncategorized

    Top 10 Beliefs To Level Up Life

    Are you like me? There is a little voice in the back of my head that tells me I can do better. Occasionally, it is crippling loud and other times it is subdued and nearly the faintest whisper. But that desire to level up life is alive within me. Sometimes is makes me want to take on way more than the average person can fathom. But with that here is what I believe. My intention is to elaborate more on each of these beliefs. Today, my intention is to list them and see which one’s resonate with you and what I think help take me to the next level.

    1.) The path to success is never a straight line. You will go up, down, in circles, backward, and upside down. Embrace the journey and learn from it. Every good story has challenges and obstacles. The hero overcomes these challenges. Be the hero of your story. But- don’t fail to create the plan. Nothing happens when there isn’t a plan in place. Have the plan, but know it isn’t going to always go as simple as planned.

    2.) Notice moments of synchronicity. I believe these are guiding lights to lead you down the right path. They are our maps. They are put in front of you to notice. Pay attention. Many times I think this is God pointing you in the right direction. Pay attention and keep that faith.

    3.) Get your reps in. One way we learn is through repetition. You have to do the reps to level up. You will not be a superstar on the first attempt, but with enough reps, you continue to get better. Do you reps!

    4.) Find the silver lining. Tough things will happen. We have a choice of the emotion we put behind it. You can wallow in desperation, or choose to learn from it and grow. Find the positive in the situation.

    5.) It takes a village…. The people you surround yourself with help you level up. Add value to the people in your village. Dream BIG with them. Serve them. Help one another set goals, learn from one another, and achieve success together. It takes a village to make your dreams a reality.

    6.) You are your habits. Your body will reflect what you do. If you want to make changes, change your habits. But, a word of caution, changing a habit is one of the hardest things to do. Seek help.

    7.) Seek help! Just like it takes a village, leveling up means you are not afraid to ask for help. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is simply ask.

    8.) Don’t take life too seriously. Be light-hearted. Dance in the rain. Sing into the spatula. Go down the slide. Laugh so hard you spit out your drink.

    9.) Be risky. Sometimes the only way to level up is to take the risk. Risks are scary. You will learn something from the risk. You will grow from the risk. You will change from the risk. Be calculated. Seek help and advice. But without risk, the reward is dismal. Want the reward, choose the risk.

    10.) Place your family first. Moments and people only last for so long. Create those memories and stories with the people that mean the most. Be the parent you dream of being and set the example for your kids. Make time for them, be involved. Place your closest friends and family high on your list. Call your parents. Find time to connect with your partner. These memories go beyond the mundane day-to-day.

    We all have different beliefs and we are all at different points on our path to make our dreams a reality. Some people may connect with these beliefs, and some pay think I am off in left field picking daisies. That’s okay. My goal for the next few weeks is to discuss these beliefs in more detail and how they have helped me shape my past and will continue to develop my future. I believe big things are coming. Here is to the adventure.

  • Uncategorized

    We Finally Took A Real Vacation

    It has been nearly 10 years since Matthew and I have taken a real vacation. Yes, we have done weekend trips to Nashville and Pittsburgh, and other places. But we haven’t packed it up and gotten out of town for longer than 2-3 days.



    Last summer we were visiting friends who had just gotten back from vacation. After a few adult beverages, someone suggested that we should all go on vacation, get a house with a pool, and have fun. Matthew and I agreed it would be fun, but didn’t actually think it would be something that would truly manifest itself (especially with our outlandish requests for the dream vacation). The next day, Brian begins sending property rentals that would house 13 (6 adults and 7 children), with a pool, and close to the beach. Honestly, my mouth hit the floor. They were serious!!! This is really happening. They are holding these drunken dreams accountable. We are actually going on vacation with the kids.

    Fast forward 8 months. It’s midnight, 3 cars meet in the parking lot of Kohls in Spring Meadows. We are on our way. It is happening. We are on our way to the Ocean. Destin, Florida here we come.



    Our first big adventure happened roughly an hour into the drive. All of our phones start going on. There is a tornado in your area, seek shelter, avoid mile markers 110-118. Brian calls. What should we do? Brian is a trained firefighter and EMT. I reminded him that he is our emergency professional and should make the call, and he wisely pulls over to wait out the storm. And what a storm it was. I had never seen rain coming down with that force and with that much wind. When all warnings had expired, we got back on the road only to be detoured off the highway around mile markers 110-118. On the drive home, we saw why. A small tornado took out a greenhouse, jumped the highway, and took the roof off a building on the other side. We barely missed it. I had never been so thankful for phone tracking and GPS in my life.

    The second adventure happened all through the state of Alabama. You see, I65 is the only major interstate to that part of the Gulf Coast. And every Saturday people are headed either to the coast or packing up and heading home. What should have been a 5 hour drive, turned into nearly 10 hours due to bumper to bumper stopped traffic. So what do we do, we reroute and take some back roads. Driving through parts of Alabama we saw it all: Farms, plantations, horses, small towns, larger suburbs. It is cool to see more than just the interstate. But, a few things happened on that drive. First, Matthew and I decided that we were leaving Friday, instead of Saturday to avoid the Alabama traffic. Then we decided that we would stay the night in Nashville on the way home to break up the trip. It proved to be a good call and a much more pleasant and rested drive home.

    Since Saturday was spent in a car, when we arrived to our house in Destin, there wasn’t much time left to explore. So we unpacked, ordered pizza, ordered some immediate groceries through instacart, and checked out the house. The house was perfect. It was called the Stairway to Hammock Heaven. We were about a block from the ocean. It had 3 main bedrooms and a bunkroom for the kids. Jack and Lily immediately took the top bunks. Out back, a pool with a spa. The kids put on their swimsuits and we swam for a few then everyone went to bed. It had been a long 24 hours.



    The next morning our vacation was rolling. We went to the beach. I will never forget Jack and Lily’s face when they saw the ocean for the first time. Nor will I forget Matthews’s excitement as both of the took their first steps in the water holding his hand. We swam, played in the sand, looked for sea shells. Then it happened… real dolphins jumping out in the distance. It was so cool. After the beach we went back to the house for nap time, and a chance for the adults to socialize. Then we all packed up and went to Fud Puckers for dinner. There we saw alligators! We even got to hold a real life baby one and take our picture.

    The next day we visited the boardwalk. We ate, played, and watched the charter boats come in with their latest catches. The kids play area was Jack and Lily’s favorite because not only did they jump around in bouncy houses, but we ate frozen pineapple. After the boardwalk it was back for naps, swimming, and grilling out at the house.

    The next morning we woke up to checkout a breakfast joint then came back to the house to swim and play. Unfortunately, as we were planning to go to Destin Commons for dinner and then the Go Kart Track, Jack got sick. So we stayed behind to let Jack rest while the other families explored Destin Commons. It was sweet that they all decided to wait to go to the Track until Jack felt better.

    Which he did the next morning! On Wednesday, however, it was Mom’s Getaway day. We booked a Tikibar Cruise to Crab Island. And let me tell you from about 8:45 am- 2 pm, us moms had a BLAST. The Tikibar boat was driven by Captain Kirk. He is a Destin native and a former funeral director. But decided to get out of the business and enjoy life’s happiness on the gulf. With a few beers and time, the three of us were in the water playing beer pong and other games, and listening to music. Crab Island is a must. I can’t wait for when the kids are bigger. I would love to rent a boat with a slide and let them have fun at a sand bar.



    After Crab Island, we were off to the Track for Jack. The kids were tall enough to ride in the Go Karts while the parents drove. We were off to the races. It was so much fun. There were also other rides for the kids and bumper cars.



    Thursday was Dad’s day to go golfing. While they were hitting the links at one of Destin’s beautiful golf courses, we packed up the kids and went to Target. We knew that we were going to have to jam pack a lot into our last full day. So when the boys got home we went to the beach and did more swimming and playing. Then we got dressed and went to Bayharbor Wharf for dinner. I wish we had more time to explore the wharf. We could have easily spent a whole day there exploring and playing. But, it gives us a reason to go back.



    Unfortunately, Friday came fast and there we were packing up to head back to Ohio.
    I am just so happy we did it. And I am so thankful to my Katie, my sister in law, for watching Tucker. It happened. We vacationed. And we will do it again!

  • Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    That Used to Be Me: 3 Lifechanging Transformations

    “Have you ever looked at older photo of you and think to yourself, ‘I can’t believe that used to be me!'”

    This was the opening sentence of my reading this morning. I sometimes think between Facebook memories and time hop photos that daily remind us of our past, we are constantly confronted with who we used to be. Luckily, I find comfort in these memories, and I am proud of my past. But I also know I have grown and changed in ways that have made me better than what those pictures have captured.



    If I had to narrow it down, I would have to say in the last 10 years I have had 3 major transformations.

    1.) Becoming a mother.


    On Friday the 13th of 2016, I entered the world of motherhood. Your world changes. You learn to problem-solve like never before. You learn to be prepared. You learn patience. You learn to manage your time differently. But for me, I learned to be more selfless. Prior to motherhood, I could pretty much do whatever I wanted. I had freedom. I didn’t have to worry about certain consequences for my actions. I could just be. But children change your perspective. You put their needs before your own. You don’t have the same freedoms or personal space. The transformation is truly beautiful and hard and easy and perfect and amazing all at the same time.

    2.) Learning to say “No.”
    This one came gradually. And in fact, there are days that I am still working on it. But with time, I learned that I can’t do it all. Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can do for your life is to just say, “No.” I have learned that the temporary pain of saying no leads to new perspectives, habits, long-term gains, and ultimately transformations. For example, learning to say no to late-night snacking, lead to better more conscious eating habits, which ultimately leads to weight loss and better body image. Another example is learning to say “no” to using my credit card. This lead to less frivolous spending, less debt, more money awareness, extra money in the emergency fund, and better spending habits.

    3.) Taking my “wealth” seriously
    Certain things bring “quality” to our lives. For me, it’s family, health, and wealth. Working toward financial stability relieved so much stress in my life. I wasn’t up all night worrying about the bills that needed to be paid. I didn’t panic money became tight due to job issues for both Matthew and I. Not having to worry about money freed up space to give to my family and take my health seriously. I truly believe that when you transform your relationship with money, you can transform other important areas in your life.



    So yes, I look at those old photos. I appreciate who I was then and the lessons and transformations I have had since then. Not every path is led for us like the Yellow Brick Road. Sometimes we have to find out way, make tough decisions, learn to be selfless and fail. It all happens, but that is how we transform. I can’t wait to see what the next opportunity to transform brings.

  • Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    I Just Wanna Help People

    I think the title of this blog explains it all. For the last 9+ years, I have been helping people with their health and fitness. Before that, I spent 8 years helping people through education. But, I am not getting any younger. After months of deliberation, I want to take my passion in a different way… I want to help people with their retirement and financial investments.

    You see, I grew up with parents who were both in finance. Typical dinner conversation included conversation about how money works and grows. For Christmas, instead of a Barbie Doll, I got stocks and government bonds purchased from dividends. Sounds so fun, right?

    That is why when I graduated at 18 and moved to Toledo, I was determined to figure it out on my own. 5 years ago, I joined a Toastmasters group to improve my public speaking and leadership skills. That is where I met Alec, a financial professional with Wealth Wave. At the time, I wasn’t looking to get into finance. In fact, my entire life, I told myself I never wanted to end up like my parents. And I don’t want you to mishear anything… I am still happily helping people in health and fitness. But I always thought I could do more.

    I believe health and wealth go hand and hand, and some of our biggest social problems are both in health and finance. Our habits with spending, movement, and nutrition are all very similar. If you can learn to adjust your habits with any of them, your life will be changed. Sometimes you just need the go-to coach with the knowledge and recommendations to help you learn more.

    In 2020, Alec handed me the “How Money Works” book. I handed it to Matthew, who after 45 minutes handed it back to me. Upon which we had one of our big answers questioned. Even though Matthew and I had a house, car payments, and two kids… neither one of us had life insurance that would be able to help in case the unimaginable happened. Alec provided the solution that we were looking for.

    But once we talked to Alec, we realized that he had other solutions to some of our smaller money concerns including how to consolidate scattered 401Ks from various jobs and how to invest money in different accounts to allow our money to work for us instead of us always working for money.

    In January of this year, Alec and I had a different conversation about how I could become a part of the team. I love to help people and problem-solve, and sometimes you need to learn new skills to help people in different ways. That is my passion. That is where I feel most confident and fulfilled. That is where I know I can have the biggest impact and influence in life… and that is why I decided to jump in… take on a new challenge, and learn to help people in a different way.

    I dived in. And I went “back to school” so to say. I enrolled in different certification classes. Though I am not all the way to where I want to be with licensing and certifications, I will be by June. I have completed my Life and Health Insurance license and am able to help with both needs, as well as different annuity options. Within a few months, I will be able to help with other investment needs, including IRA options. I am really excited about what the future holds.

    Some of you may still be asking why… and the answer is really simple. I just want to be able to help people wherever I can. And the more I know, the more I can provide to the people I care about and love. Helping and serving is who I am… and it is so exciting to see where I can take this new knowledge and ability. Let’s go!

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