This post is the speech that I have been delivering in my Toastmaster’s Competitions. Many people have asked what I am discussing, and I struggle with explaining it. Therefore, I thought it was wise to share my entire speech with you here. Please be mindful that I have hand gestures and vocal changes which help bring the point home.
“You’re gonna lose… you’re gonna lose.” (said with my hands up by my ears and in the most annoying, nasally voice possible.)
Some of you may recall the line from the 90’s film about a women’s professional baseball league entitled “A League of Their Own.” Stirwell Angel, a son of one of the female players stands in front of the dug out before the World Series Game and states, “You’re Gonna Lose.” Jimmy Dugan, the coach, immediately grabs a nearby baseball mitt, chucks it at Stirwell, and knocks him over.
Fellow Toastmasters and guests, I have a secret. I know that annoying nasally voice of Stirwell Angel all to well. However, I can’t knock it out with a pitch of a baseball mitt. Why? Because that voice lives inside of my head.
**Same annoying, nasally voice and hands in my ears**
“You’re not good enough, You’re not good enough”
This voice started when I was 12. I was in a dance company and we were getting ready to perform a competition number to Gene Kelly’s “Singing in the Rain.” Being tall I was normally in the center of a line. But this year, I was not front row center. Instead I was in the second row. Every time we would practice or perform the number, I would look at the my peers in front of me and tell myself “you’re not good enough, they are better than you.”
** Same annoying, nasally voice and hands in my ears**
“You don’t know what you are doing, You don’t know what you’re doing.”
This voice started when I was 18. I had just graduated high school and was ready to go to college. I knew from a very young age what I wanted to go to college, but that thing is unlike Danielle who was pursuing education, or Billy who was majoring in engineering or Jackie who was studying pre-med, there was Shelley “UNDECIDED.” To me it was like there was this neon flashing light high above my head telling the world, “You don’t know what you are doing… ” and the more I paid attention to that light that bigger and brighter it grew… and in turn the smaller and smaller my confidence became.
** Same annoying, nasally voice and hands in ears**
“People won’t take you seriously, people won’t take you seriously”
This voice started about 5 years ago. I was having lunch with one of my friends. I was trying to explain to her how I was getting ready to change careers from “college composition instructor” to “fitness kickboxing coach.” I can still hear her voice as she briefly laughed then said… “oh wait, you’re serious.”
“You’re not good enough, You don’t know what you’re doing. People won’t take you seriously…” Fellow Toastmasters and guests, I hear these voices, and I am sure many of you hear them too. For some people they may be debilitating- stopping you dead in your tracks, not allowing you to move forward for pursue your dreams.
But I have a second secret. I have learned to shut these voices up and live BEYOND LIMITS. Would you like me to share them with you?
That first voice, that one that says “you’re not good enough.” I have learned to silence this voice by becoming a student of the game. At the age of 12 I learned to study the best dancers in my studio. I mimicked the way they practice and their stage presence. Pretty soon, I was front row center in all my company’s numbers. But I took this skill of being a student of the game with me to a high level volleyball career, to graduate school, even to Toastmasters. By becoming a student of the game I learned that I can study from the people who are good enough and in turn become good enough myself and live BEYOND LIMITS.
That second voice, that one that says “you don’t know what you are doing.” This voice took me the longest to over come. At first I thought by declaring different majors I would silence that voice. Therefore, I jumped from undecided to psychology to education. And after 4 years I graduated with an English degree. From there I went to graduate school. Then I thought about pursing my PhD or a law degree or my MBA. Eventually I figured out that it was too expensive to be a professional student and had to step into the real world. It was scary. But, I learned a valuable lesson, yes I may not know what I am doing… but I have learned a whole lot in my past experiences to give me the knowledge to figure out that I know exactly what I am doing. When I draw on past experiences and knowledge I can live BEYOND LIMITS.
That final voice that one that say, “people won’t take you seriously.” This voice I learned to quiet when I began taking myself seriously. You see, when you take yourself seriously you breathe passion and passion is contagious. People are drawn to it and are influenced by it. That is when you begin to have an impact. When I began to take myself seriously, others did as well, and that is how you learn to live BEYOND LIMITS.
Yes, I hear those voices that tell me I am not good enough, I don’t know what I am doing, and people won’t take me seriously. But I have learned that when I become a student of the game, draw on past knowledge, and take myself seriously that I can push past those limiting beliefs and live BEYOND LIMITS…
But more importantly it is what Jimmy Dugan says after he knocks down Stirwell Angel and his annoying limiting belief that actually allows us the hope and motivation to more forward. He says, “We’re gonna Win… We’re gonna WIN,”
