Last week I mentioned how adversity just sometimes happens. But sometimes, I hate to say it, we create our own adversity. I have an ego that is like “Superwoman:” I can DO IT ALL, and THEN SOME!!!! I like to feel like Mighty Mouse walking around boldly singing, “Here I come to save the day.” … And then I try, which means I take on too much, my day becomes jammed full, and before I even recognize it, I am problem solving a problem that I created.
Normally, feeling like you are saving the day allows adrenaline to kick in, giving me energy. I begin to say things like, “I am helping,” “Look at all the stuff that got checked of my to-do list.” “I am so productive.” I finish the day tired, but satisfied that it all got done. I feel victorious and accomplished. These feelings tell me I did good, which outweighs the fact that I have been running around like a mad-woman all day and am totally exhausted.
The feeling of victory releases good hormones in my brain–Dopamine and serotonin. These are the same addicting hormones that happen when you do drugs. My drug addiction becomes “saving the day.” The thing is, after a few days, weeks, or months… I become physically, emotionally, and mentally stressed out and tired. I just want someone to step in and help… but (here’s a big secret) I am bad at/ or don’t like to ask people for help. Therefore, I feel alone and stuck. This feeling again is a form of adversity, though 100% self induced.
For the last year I have been very conscious of this problem. I have purposely said “no” to taking on some projects because I don’t want the added stress on my plate. I have began to analyze the problems in front of me differently. I have created awareness that I can’t do it all, but I can do something.
I have learned that “doing something” sometimes means asking for help from others. Or, that “doing something” means that I can teach others how to do it. Or, that “doing something” means that a project can take longer than 24 hours to complete and it’s okay to split it up over the course of time. I have learned that “doing something” can have a one hour time limit, and it’s okay to turn it off when the time limit is up.
I used to say that one of my greatest strengths was that I could get so many things done. What I now realize is that one of my greatest strengths also has the potential to be my greatest weakness. Saving the day has it’s perks… but even super heros need breaks.
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