habits - Purposely Empowered

Empowerment, Habits, Purposeful Living

Why I am a Financial Professional

April 17, 2023

I was raised by two finance professionals. My dad was a banker. My mom managed a local branch of Household Finance. Money, investing, saving, budgeting, etc was all common dinner table conversations; however, my brother and I would rather fold up a piece of paper and play football. I grew up in a family that every Christmas I would receive stocks paid for by dividends and government bonds (you know the kind that takes decades to mature). The 8-year-old me didn’t value these presents, I just wanted the Barbie doll. But the 30+-year-old me sees the value, and looking back I am thankful for the experience and knowledge passed on to me.

When I was in junior high, Mom would set me up with a weekly budget/ allowance. I had to budget my lunch money and spending money. If I wanted something I would have to figure out how to save that money to make the purchase. This continued throughout high school. Understanding money coming in versus money going out helped me know where to spend my dollars wisely.

Yes, my parents tried to pass on financial literacy to me throughout my teen years. But, admittedly I took those lessons for granted. Why? My need for something now was stronger than my need for financial stability and freedom in my 40s, 50s, and 60s. Sometimes looking back, I think retirement was just too far away to really take that need seriously. I fell victim to the immediate want vesus the long term want mentality. My wants of today trumped my wants of the future.

Then, as life continued, I found it hard to admit failure with money- especially when your parents tried so hard to teach you better. It is a little embarrassing to discuss things like credit card debt, credit scores, money in a saving account, budget, investing, and how perhaps you are trying to just make ends meet living paycheck to paycheck. There are so many negative stereotypes associated with each one of these areas that for many ignorances or pushing the problem aside is just easier.

When Matthew and I finally decided to take our wealth more seriously, we were in our 30s. And we knew we needed a coach. This coach didn’t necessarily need to tell us what to do, but, instead, to change my perspective, help me problem solve, and hold us accountable to taking these goals seriously.

The good news is that one of the ways we learn is by making mistakes. I am glad I have the life experiences of learning about money to help me relate to others who need help. I can pass these lessons on. Like many I have paid off student-loan debt (thanks to a 3rd degree that I didn’t even finish). I have overcome credit card debt. I have lived paycheck to paycheck and taught myself how to save so that stress isn’t so dire.

Admitting all this is embarrassing, especially because I should have known better because my parents tried so hard to give me the tools and teach me about money. But it is all true. When I decided to take my money seriously, my life changed. And I have gained a ton of knowledge including how to create the habits to get yourself unstuck. I am literally walking, talking proof that if I can make these changes, you can too. And I am here to help.

Financial planning isn’t just about investments and portfolios. It isn’t just for the rich and soon-to-be retired. Financial advising is here to help you take control of your bad habits, and for you to take ownership of your money. It is for you and for your family to be protected in case the unimaginable happens. It is for you to dream about a work-optional lifestyle instead of a life where you must work. And I can’t wait to watch people gain confidence and control of their money and watch people dream in exciting, amazing ways, createing a life where those dreams come true.

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Shelley

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That Used to Be Me: 3 Lifechanging Transformations

April 10, 2023

“Have you ever looked at older photo of you and think to yourself, ‘I can’t believe that used to be me!'”

This was the opening sentence of my reading this morning. I sometimes think between Facebook memories and time hop photos that daily remind us of our past, we are constantly confronted with who we used to be. Luckily, I find comfort in these memories, and I am proud of my past. But I also know I have grown and changed in ways that have made me better than what those pictures have captured.

If I had to narrow it down, I would have to say in the last 10 years I have had 3 major transformations.

1.) Becoming a mother.

On Friday the 13th of 2016, I entered the world of motherhood. Your world changes. You learn to problem-solve like never before. You learn to be prepared. You learn patience. You learn to manage your time differently. But for me, I learned to be more selfless. Prior to motherhood, I could pretty much do whatever I wanted. I had freedom. I didn’t have to worry about certain consequences for my actions. I could just be. But children change your perspective. You put their needs before your own. You don’t have the same freedoms or personal space. The transformation is truly beautiful and hard and easy and perfect and amazing all at the same time.

2.) Learning to say “No.”
This one came gradually. And in fact, there are days that I am still working on it. But with time, I learned that I can’t do it all. Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can do for your life is to just say, “No.” I have learned that the temporary pain of saying no leads to new perspectives, habits, long-term gains, and ultimately transformations. For example, learning to say no to late-night snacking, lead to better more conscious eating habits, which ultimately leads to weight loss and better body image. Another example is learning to say “no” to using my credit card. This lead to less frivolous spending, less debt, more money awareness, extra money in the emergency fund, and better spending habits.

3.) Taking my “wealth” seriously
Certain things bring “quality” to our lives. For me, it’s family, health, and wealth. Working toward financial stability relieved so much stress in my life. I wasn’t up all night worrying about the bills that needed to be paid. I didn’t panic money became tight due to job issues for both Matthew and I. Not having to worry about money freed up space to give to my family and take my health seriously. I truly believe that when you transform your relationship with money, you can transform other important areas in your life.

So yes, I look at those old photos. I appreciate who I was then and the lessons and transformations I have had since then. Not every path is led for us like the Yellow Brick Road. Sometimes we have to find out way, make tough decisions, learn to be selfless and fail. It all happens, but that is how we transform. I can’t wait to see what the next opportunity to transform brings.

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Shelley

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I Just Wanna Help People

March 25, 2023

I think the title of this blog explains it all. For the last 9+ years, I have been helping people with their health and fitness. Before that, I spent 8 years helping people through education. But, I am not getting any younger. After months of deliberation, I want to take my passion in a different way… I want to help people with their retirement and financial investments.

You see, I grew up with parents who were both in finance. Typical dinner conversation included conversation about how money works and grows. For Christmas, instead of a Barbie Doll, I got stocks and government bonds purchased from dividends. Sounds so fun, right?

That is why when I graduated at 18 and moved to Toledo, I was determined to figure it out on my own. 5 years ago, I joined a Toastmasters group to improve my public speaking and leadership skills. That is where I met Alec, a financial professional with Wealth Wave. At the time, I wasn’t looking to get into finance. In fact, my entire life, I told myself I never wanted to end up like my parents. And I don’t want you to mishear anything… I am still happily helping people in health and fitness. But I always thought I could do more.

I believe health and wealth go hand and hand, and some of our biggest social problems are both in health and finance. Our habits with spending, movement, and nutrition are all very similar. If you can learn to adjust your habits with any of them, your life will be changed. Sometimes you just need the go-to coach with the knowledge and recommendations to help you learn more.

In 2020, Alec handed me the “How Money Works” book. I handed it to Matthew, who after 45 minutes handed it back to me. Upon which we had one of our big answers questioned. Even though Matthew and I had a house, car payments, and two kids… neither one of us had life insurance that would be able to help in case the unimaginable happened. Alec provided the solution that we were looking for.

But once we talked to Alec, we realized that he had other solutions to some of our smaller money concerns including how to consolidate scattered 401Ks from various jobs and how to invest money in different accounts to allow our money to work for us instead of us always working for money.

In January of this year, Alec and I had a different conversation about how I could become a part of the team. I love to help people and problem-solve, and sometimes you need to learn new skills to help people in different ways. That is my passion. That is where I feel most confident and fulfilled. That is where I know I can have the biggest impact and influence in life… and that is why I decided to jump in… take on a new challenge, and learn to help people in a different way.

I dived in. And I went “back to school” so to say. I enrolled in different certification classes. Though I am not all the way to where I want to be with licensing and certifications, I will be by June. I have completed my Life and Health Insurance license and am able to help with both needs, as well as different annuity options. Within a few months, I will be able to help with other investment needs, including IRA options. I am really excited about what the future holds.

Some of you may still be asking why… and the answer is really simple. I just want to be able to help people wherever I can. And the more I know, the more I can provide to the people I care about and love. Helping and serving is who I am… and it is so exciting to see where I can take this new knowledge and ability. Let’s go!

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Shelley

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Making A Change Is Hard: Do a Challenge

January 16, 2023

There are a few things that I love about a 6 Week Challenge, whether it is focused on fitness, finances, relationships, spirituality, or some other area in your life. Here are 3 reasons why I think starting habit change with a challenge is a great beginning point.

1.) There is a starting and ending date.
Most of the time when we think about creating new habits, it is something that can be overwhelming. Seeing a starting and ending date gives you an advantage. An end date allows you to keep the eye on the prize. Personally, I think 6 weeks is a good amount of time. Typically, it takes 21 days to start to build the habit. It takes longer to make it part of who you are and your lifestyle. 6 weeks ingrains the habit into who you are, without feeling the pressures of lifelong commitment. By seeing the end date, you can build your confidence when you hit it. That confidence is so valuable to pursuing any change.

2.) Challenges normally come with others who are doing it with you and a coach to support you.
Having multiple people involved gives you a sense of community, support, and accountability. The cliche that it takes a village to raise a child, is also so true when it comes to changing your habits. People think that making changes is a lonely hard process. They are scared to ask for help. But the truth is when you have like-minded people make the changes together and a coach guiding you, you will achieve success. You have others to give guidance, offer support, keep you focused, and celebrate the smallest wins.

3.) Challenges include invaluable knowledge.
The other cliche is “knowledge is power.” But it is true. And the amount of knowledge you gain during a challenge is invaluable. During a challenge, you will be forced to learn. When you learn something, it can never be taken away from you. During a challenge, you will be forced to problem-solve. Those lessons will last longer than the length of the challenge. During a challenge, you will face adversity. Your perseverance will grow and be with you forever. If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you. And a challenge is designed to help you make those positive changes.

So, now that the New Year’s Resolutions are starting to become harder, maybe research different ways you can get in on a challenge to help you begin fresh, find community, and learn.

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Shelley

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How to Powerfully Push Past Risk

January 12, 2023

I have been writing a lot about risk and change lately. It is not bad. You can’t avoid change. The days change. You receive change. Your body changes. Relationships change. You name it. Change is out there. Many people spend so much time serving and avoiding change at all costs. But, eventually, it will find you. You cannot hide forever.

People avoid change because with change comes risk. And the risk is probably scarier than the idea of changing. What if I join a gym, do not go, don’t see results, and lose all my money? Sounds risky. Sounds scary. We often paint the worst-case scenario in our lives. We think about the failure and it fuels us to avoid the risk.

But as Kelly Clarkson so proudly declares in her song “Stronger,” “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…” And here is where I have been focusing my efforts for years. Instead of focusing on the moment of failure, focus on the moment after. The re-evaluate, the lesson learned, the rebuild moment. If you don’t succeed what happens? If you do succeed what happens? Either way, you learn, you grow, and you flourish… even in failure.

I was a volleyball player. And literally, every point you allowed was a point of failure. The ball either hit the floor or your side or you hit it out of bounce on the other side. One thing most volleyball players have become trained to do is after the volley, everyone meets in the middle. We re-evaluate what happened and we celebrate the success or correct the failure. Lessons are immediately learned then applied with the next serve. There is no time to dwell on the mistake. There is no time to assess risk. And there is definitely no time to stop. You keep moving forward.

I watched Lily, my 4-year-old learn this lesson while playing with her magnetic tiles. She was in her room and every so often I would hear this grunt of frustration, then the whole tiled building collapsed. She would rebuild it. And again, another grunt of frustration and the building collapsed. Finally, in a moment of exhilaration, she yelled, “Mom, come here, look at this.” And she built this beauty. A pentagon of colors and fun. An atypical design. A change from the normal square and cubes. Something out of the box. She risked. She rebuilt. She learned. And you can too.

Despite the frustration, she rebuilt it until it was a success!

The tool to develop is to focus on the rebuild and the moment about what happens next. The tool is to go into everything with the mentality that lessons will be learned, not failure happened. Lessons learned sound a lot less scary than “I risked and failed.” No, you risked, you learned, and you moved forward. So let’s make this year the year we think about the rebuild and the lesson, not the year of the avoidance to change and failure.

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Shelley

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Wednesday Wisdom: Why Taking Physical Action Benefits So Much More

January 11, 2023

I had a client yesterday say that she was ready to make a change physically. However, our discussion took a much different turn. We ended up talking more about emotional and mental health. It’s true when you find physical success, your mental and emotional health grows as a result of that success.

Those things that tend to scare us a little; for example, learning something new, making a commitment, or changing the direction of schooling, a business, or a career, test who we are at the foundation of our beings. Typically, being “new” or making a change is uncomfortable. It is out of that comfort zone. We are unsure of who or what we are in that new space. In order to make those changes, it takes risks. And risks are more terrifying than those monsters hiding under the bed when we were kids. SImply put, we don’t want to fail.

When we decide to commit to making that change, that is where we grow. We grow phyically, mentally, and emotionally. Where more people make the mistake is that the commitment to change doesn’t need to be huge. Physically, you don’t need to go to the extreme. In fact, I never recommend that. Why? I think extreme change is hard and unsustainable. You are setting yourself up for failure. But let’s say physically, you start by setting your alarm for 5 minutes earlier in the morning for 1 week. With that 5 minutes, you incorporate some morning stretches. Physically, your body will improve its flexibility, which as we age is super important. And after 1 week, you feel proud of yourself for sticking with your commitment. Mentally, you are also building strength and growth. Stretching tends to help clear the mind. By following through on the 5 minutes a day, you are building confidence and self- credibility. With that confidence, you are emotionally more stable.

This small improvement to your physical health will give you the power to try (or take a slightly bigger risk) another physical task. Maybe signing up for a yoga class once a week to not only improve that flexibility but balance as well. Or maybe making the physical commitment to after 5 minutes of stretching in the morning, drinking a glass of water (so many physical health benefits there).

The point is not necessarily about exercise. When we physically do something, take physical action toward something, we grow. And that action, that physical growth, also builds your mental and emotional growth as well. It could be finally making that dentist appointment you have been neglecting for 5 years (action in the process is growth). It could be making the decision to physically wire money into your investment portfolio each week. It doesn’t matter. What matters is the action leads to growth. Learning leads to growth. Being uncomfortable leads to growth.

What physical actions are you doing this week that will help you grow? Let’s share in the comments. And if you like this and other posts, please subscribe.

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Shelley

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But First, Get Me My Coffee

January 5, 2023

Morning routines. We all have them. Some of us rise with the first alarm. Others snooze 12 times before getting out of bed. Some of us make our bed right away, while others choose not to make their bed at all. Some of us drink water in the morning. Others want to shake their coffee machine because it can’t brew fast enough.

Our routines are our habits. It is a reflection of what we most consistently do. While I do drink water, have a protein shake, and take my supplements while the coffee is brewing, it is still part of my routine. This morning, disaster. Somehow our BUNN coffee maker got turned off. The water that poured through the grinds was cold. The coffee… clear. Disappointing? Yes. Annoying? Yes. Devasting? Could have been, depending on the day.

I didn’t even like coffee until I was 34. That is what happens when you have a two year old and a newborn… you drink coffee to have a little energy for both. Now, I find myself making a cup for all kinds of random things. My hands are cold, let me make a cup of coffee. I need to focus on a project, let me make a cup of coffee first. It is quiet in the house, let me enjoy it with a cup of coffee. I just ate too much dinner, might as well have a cup of coffee.

I know I am not alone. Sometimes I wonder if we replaced the smoke break with the coffee break. I have never been a smoker, but I can see how taking a moment to make a cup of coffee can help you slow down, realign your thoughts, and breathe. I could be wrong. But I could also see it.

But, back to my original point… My coffee maker didn’t work today. I feel the hiccup in my morning routine. I feel like I am missing something without the warm cup in my hand, the savory smell, and the bitter taste. Please… get me my coffee!

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Shelley

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Back to the Gym… Congrats!

January 4, 2023

For everyone who is starting a fitness routine, or getting back into the gym… CONGRATS! It isn’t easy! And you are getting better.

I took 10 days away from the gym. In my world, it seems like a lifetime.
To be completely honest on Monday, I convinced myself to skip my workout. I knew it was going to hurt. I would be sore… and I didn’t want to do it. I let my excuses get the best of me.

But on Tuesday, I ditched all excuses and got it in. I lifted. I taught a class. I did a Bas Rutten. Needless to say, I didn’t ease back into anything. And, I feel it today. My chest and shoulders are sore. My abs are sore. My legs and booty are sore. But I am glad I got back after it. It feels good to be back in my routine.

I know starting/ or getting back into a routine is hard. So for everyone who took the first step in creating a new habit, a new choice, and a new lifestyle…. or for everyone who decided to start again (even if it is for the 25th time), CONGRATS! It isn’t easy. It will suck at times. But the journey is worth it in the end. Staying focused on the long-term result and taking it one day at a time will get you there.

Need help with staying committed? That is another topic for another day. 🙂 Today, celebrate the fact that you did it (despite the soreness or other struggles along the way). And know that people are proud of you and recognize that it takes a lot of courage, grit, perseverance, and determination to start again.

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Shelley

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Finding a Moment of Stillness

January 3, 2023

“Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalm 42:10

Stillness… I think we all need it. A moment to breathe, clear our thoughts, and just be… Taking a moment to not play any role. A moment to release all expectations. A moment to find peace. A moment to hand over any problems. Even if it is just for 2 seconds… be still…

I am a sunrise girl. I love waking up while it is still dark. I love the quiet of the early morning before the kids start playing, the TV gets turned on, and the traffic on the road picks up. It is my time to think, plan, pray, and prepare for the day. Then something magical starts to happen. The sky becomes a little brighter. The sun begins to rise, sometimes a glowing orange ball and sometimes a hazy light in a gray sky.

No matter the day, I glance out my kitchen slider to see how the sun is rising, symbolizing a new day of fresh possibilities. I pause. Stillness. This moment is mine. Be still, and know.

I breathe. Sometimes I take a sip of coffee and am thankful for another day, another sunrise, and another opportunity to do my best. I find calmness deep in my soul. Sometimes I just look out in awe of what is capable.

Sometimes, if the time is just right, I sneak outside and take a picture or two and post the sunrise on social media. This moment that I hit the pause button has been picked up by my kids. Not too many days ago, Lily looks at the sky one morning and said, “Mom, look there is a pink rainbow in the sky.” I also learned this morning that my sneaking out to take a picture was also captured by my two little ones because Jack then promptly says, “Can we go take a picture with our tablets?” So much for being discreet.

This is that morning in mid-October when the kids insisted
on taking a picture. It was special….

But it is in those moments (not minutes, not hours, not days), that I find peace. Where the chaos of the day doesn’t exist. A sunrise really is but a powerful moment. Each is a little different, and never at the exact same time. Always changing.

Do you have a moment in the day that you pause for stillness?

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Shelley

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23 in 2023 Bucket List

December 30, 2022

This week multiple people shared a similar idea with books to read next year, places to travel, etc.
I saw someone do a 23-in-23 list. I think this can bring it all together. Books, vacations, projects, habits, etc.
SO….
Why not make it a graphic and share it with everyone as a free download?

In order to make it work, think about 23 things your want to do in 2023. Matthew and I sat down last night and did it together. We brainstormed about things we could build, habits we wanted to put in place, and ways we can make our family stronger. We also talked about places to visit (even for a day trip that accepts crazy dogs). We just talked and connected for well over an hour about how we can make our lives better individually and together. It was great!

You can easily do this activity alone or with others. Then you can share it. Cross them off when they happen. Make some of your bucket list items a true reality.

Download, print, share, and enjoy! And if you really want to start a conversation, share some of your 23 in 2023 Bucket List ideas below. You never know who you may inspire.

Don’t forget if you like this be sure to subscribe to get all the latest coming your way.
If you need more ideas for how to set your goals for 2023, check out the blog https://purposelyempowered.com/word-of-the-year-for-2023/ which has a new twist on how to set up your year for success. 🙂

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Shelley

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