• Empowerment,  Habits,  Purposeful Living

    Lesson Learned: Forgive to Expand

    “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17

    I check my Instagram messages and type, “Still good for 9:30.” Quickly I get a reply, “Yes, see you there.” I take a big breath. I am nervous. But, Lily and I are committed to meeting an old acquaintance for coffee. This person and I have not spoken in years and our friendship ended abruptly. I didn’t agree with her actions. I felt hurt and betrayed by her. I held a grudge. And I couldn’t forgive her.

    I requested that we grab a coffee. These last few months I have been thinking about her and our relationship. How we actually challenged one another and learned from one another… sharpened one another. We pushed one another’s creativity, competitiveness, leadership, and growth. I learned how to deal with conflict differently because of our experience. She actually sharpened me.

    When Lily and I walked into the coffee shop, she was already there. We walked up to her table and sat. Immediately, I remembered my word of the year “expand” and recognized that in order to expand this year, I needed to forgive. I needed to release my grudge.

    Was it hard? Yes. Was it super uncomfortable? Yes. Did I like feeling humbled? No.

    But when we walked out of the coffee shop nearly 2 hours later, I felt a release of something I have been holding onto with negative intention. It was calming and peaceful. It felt good. It was powerful. It was expanding who I am.

    Lesson learned: Forgiveness isn’t forgetting… it is giving yourself a chance to expand and grow.


  • Communication,  Empowerment,  Productivity

    Cleaning the Mess of Soul Care

    Last week I introduced this idea of Soul Care. I said it was hard to define. And that claim continues…I am just letting these ideas develop organically. I am not sure where they are going. But as I think, new thoughts emerge and I am just letting them flow. Maybe my recording my stream of conscious, a strong theme will emerge.

    By nature, I am a cluttered filled person. But I hide it. For the most part, the room looks put together, but open up a drawer or a closet and you are in for a completely different story. Although the counters may be clear in the kitchen, but the junk drawer is jam packed. Sometimes it takes mad skills to even open the drawer. My closets are no better.

    Much like my closets, I think for many people, their quest for productivity, confidence, purpose, happiness is also a mess. We all look for the next book, the step by step guide, the next easy way to get what we want in the blink of an eye. In turn, our brains take all this knowledge and create tons of confusion about what brings us happiness. Our mind, body, heart, and soul becomes more cluttered than my closet. Because we don’t like clutter, we hide the fact that we are being pulled in so many different directions, but still searching for what we truly want.

    Every year, my husband gets an 8’x12′ dumpster. It sits in our driveway for a week, and we declutter. We start with the garage. Move to the kitchen, bathrooms, closets, bedrooms. By the end of the week, it is full of physical junk. But the house is clean, organized, dusted. Though not every room looks different- the furniture is still the same in the same place, the decor is exactly the same… but the hidden places are lighter, free.

    When I think of Soul Care, I think of the hidden places within us that need reorganized, cleaned, dusted. But one piece is missing. Getting rid of a dumpster worth of junk takes a ton of work, but when it comes to soul care, we don’t want to do the work. Instead we look for the superficial self-care to get us through. What if we took the time to declutter our soul? What does that look like? Where would we focus? What kind of mess would we need to clean? Are we willing to do the dirty work to make the soul sparkle or shine? Where do we need to roll up our sleeves are put the effort in? For each of us it is different. There is no step-by-step guide. There are moments when we need to gather, and other times when we need to purge. Maybe a purge is calling you. Get back to the essentials. A rediscovering of your priorities. And then deciding how to act on those priorities, which again for each of us individually is different. But it is my current thought on how to care of your soul.

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