For the last 8 years, I have used the week between Christmas and New Year to reflect on my goals for the upcoming year. I sit down, normally with a glass or bottle of wine. I reflect on some of my biggest wins and successes. I think about where I struggled and try to analyze why those struggles were difficult.

I then begin with the end in mind. How do I want to feel at the end of 2023? Next December, when I look at my year in review, how do I want to feel?

Last year my word was LIGHT. I wanted to feel lighter. Not just with weight, but with my energy. I wanted to feel like I was spreading that light and shining bright. I wanted 2022 to feel radiating. I wanted to ignite a passion in myself and others that spread excitement, positivity, goal achievement, confidence, and empowerment to people in my circle.

Once I know what I want, I come up with my action steps to start to put that end feeling in place. What skills do I need to learn? Where do I need to place my focus? What habits need developing? In what areas do I need to grow? What do I need to eliminate? What can I do each quarter, month, week, or day to help me develop that feeling?

This kind of self-reflection is hard. This year, as I am spending time reflecting, I can say I never considered that in order to have lightness, you have to have darkness. I feel like there was a lot of time I didn’t feel light. I don’t necessarily feel like I spread light. I felt heavy. I felt extinguished. There were also moments when the heavy load was lightened. There were even moments when I saw a light at the end of the tunnel, pointing me in a different direction. Almost like the light bulb finally went off. Such is life. It ebbs… it flows. It’s light, it’s dark.

I recently read a blog by Gretchen Rubin (you can read it too by clicking here https://gretchenrubin.com/articles/one-word-themes-for-2023/ ). She too discusses One Word Themes for the year. I like how she purchased things to keep her theme in mind. Maybe I should have had visual light reminders in 2022 to keep me driving toward that end game.

With that in mind, I am looking at 2023. I have ideas about how I want it to feel… and I keep coming back to the word EXPAND.

I want to expand our house.
I want to expand my knowledge.
I want to expand my skills.
I want to expand my network of people.
I want to expand my spirituality.
I want to expand my investments.
I want to expand my willingness to share and contribute.

However, with expansion, there is also contraction. A lesson I learned in 2022 is the ebb and flow… there were moments of light and darkness. I know 2023 will have moments of expansion and contraction. I am ready for both sides this year. I can’t expand without also experiencing contractions. And that is okay. I expect to have to be a little (or very) uncomfortable at times, restricted, confined, bursting at the seams, and tight if I want to see things expand. Hopefully, this expansion doesn’t include my pants size (lol) because that isn’t where I am looking to expand and I don’t want the seams of my pants to burst :).

I am not sure of what photos or trinkets I plan on using to remind me of this idea to expand in 2023. The image that immediately comes to mind are expanded wings- birds, butterflies, or angels. Maybe all three, I haven’t decided yet.

So my question for you and others out there is, how do you want to feel at the end of 2023? Do you have a word? Are you prepared for both your word and its opposite at times? Leave a comment below. I want to know.

And if you liked this blog feel free to subscribe to get other updates. One of my areas of expansion is to EXPAND this platform this year and share knowledge more with people like you.

51% of people seek privacy in the bathroom, according to recent study.
This statistic doesn’t surprise me.
When younger my brother hid in the bathroom. Sometimes I think he even secretly did his homework.
My husband, Matthew, is known for taking his “baths,” where he disappeared to the bathroom for 15+ minutes. He “says” it helps his aching back.I am sure it does. But it also allows him those 15 minutes of quiet.

In all fairness, Matthew will say that I escape to the bathroom every so often. But, I really don’t like long baths or long showers. And besides, moms rarely get to use the bathroom uninterrupted or in silence.

But, aside from personal experience, how many commercials do we see of people escaping to the bathroom to enjoy a bath, cookie, or to take a zoom call. Bathrooms are known for a moment of privacy.

With over half of Americans finding privacy in the bathroom, maybe what we are discovering is that people are actually seeking privacy. In busy, loud houses with kids, dogs, and commotion… the bathroom is just the place that symbolizes “I need to be alone.”

In the study, the author concluded that bathroom alone time is most popular in families with young children and the percentages drastically drop as children age or people live alone. Single people and empty nesters are not escaping to the bathroom. These people find privacy elsewhere.

I understand wanting privacy. I like my alone time. It gives me a chance to decompress, recharge, and hear myself think. I work on some projects better alone. I focus better. I am more productive. I can evaluate situations better. I only use the bathroom as a silent sanctuary occasionally. Instead, I often find myself driving in silence, or waking up early just to have a moment to myself. Those are my places of comfort and quiet more so than sneaking into the bathroom.

So if you are one who finds solace in the bathroom, know you are not alone. Make it your place… claim it. If you have another place… where is it?

Happy Earth Day. Today also happens to be my grandfather, Pops’, birthday. If he were alive, he would be 96. This day always holds a special place in my heart, partly because I can’t help but giggle at memories of Pops proclaiming to anyone in earshot that he is “OLDER THAN THE EARTH.” Earth Day didn’t become a day of celebration until the 1960s. So yes, in fact, he was older than Earth Day.

Pops was an interesting character, who you knew was always in the room. He was a big, round man with snow-white hair and bright blue eyes. He was also a man who never shied away from an introduction, especially to any priest who gave mass on Sunday morning.

Pops was a lover of college football and would sometimes figure out his schedule so he could attend three games on a Saturday, normally with anywhere from one to five grandkids in tow.

He valued education. After serving in WWII, he attended the University of Pittsburgh on the GI Bill and graduated with a degree in Engineering. As a young child, he taught me how to write my letters with perfectly straight lines. He taught me long-division before we learned how to do it in school. Because he was in the Air Force, he understood the stars and taught me some astronomy. When it comes to education, however, I think the biggest question was always, “Where are you going to college?”

At the age of 8, we visited Colonial Williamsburg on a family vacation. During the trip, I was introduced to the College of William and Mary, and it stole my heart. Pops explained how it was the second oldest college in the United States (how he knew all this information, I have not the slightest clue). After two years of always declaring that I was going to William and Mary, he wrote a letter to the college, explaining my excitement. William and Mary sent me an application. I was 10.

Additionally, he wanted his grandkids to get an education and set up a trust fund to help pay for our schooling. It was one of the biggest gifts I had ever received, and when I graduated with my bachelor’s, he was there declaring (again to anyone within earshot) that I was a third-generation college graduate. On that day, he may have gleamed with more delight than I did.

Pops valued his family. He never missed a sporting event, dance recital, choir performance, band concert, or anything else. Even for family members who lived out of town, he made time to get to watch their games. You would hear him in the stands singing, “These seats are made for sitting!.” (Like Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots are Made for Walking”) to the people standing up in front of him. Or he would be yelling “Three Blind Refs” (Like Three Blind Mice) to the referees if he didn’t agree with a call. It always made me laugh during a game, and I quickly learned to not be embarrassed.

Pops’ house was always full. Kids were playing. Music was heard. Cards were being dealt. Food being served. It was a place for us grandkids to escape and have fun, to play with our cousins, to learn, to go on adventures (typically to a local college), and so much more.

Pops has definitely left a legacy, and today I am glad he was Older than the Earth. Happy Birthday Pops!

Sometimes you have to do hard things, especially when you want to take care of your soul. On January 7, 2021 I did a hard thing. I held my finger down on the Facebook app on my phone and I drug it over to “uninstall.”

It has been 7 weeks since that decision, and I haven’t turned back. The week leading up to pulling the app plug was stressful. I was getting hit with stress in every direction- family, work, money, time, duties, responsibilities. And finally, after clicking on Facebook for the 100th time that morning, only to cause me more stress with Covid and political strain, I snapped. Something in my life had to go.

I thought about what was totally 100% in my control. My family wasn’t. Work wasn’t. Money wasn’t. Checking Facebook… was. As soon as I made that realization, the app was deleted.

Now I didn’t delete my entire account. For work and family purposes I can’t. Besides, I sometimes enjoy checking in to see what others are up to. However, now when I want to check Facebook I have to be more intentional with it. I have to open up a web browser. I have to type in Facebook.com. I have to enter my username and password. It takes longer. And I have noticed that I am not tempted to just click on the app. I can even go hours (or sometimes an entire weekend) without checking it.

The oddest thing also happened. According to my phone stats I have freed up 90 minutes of my day. That is right, I spent 90 minutes a day on Facebook. The statistic literally made me sick to my stomach. What was I doing on Facebook that was so important that it took up over an hour of my day?

With that gained time, I have read more, played with my kids more, talked to more friends, have had more mental clarity and focus, and not been nearly as stressed out.

But the best thing is that when I do check Facebook now, and sort through my notifications, I realize that in the grand scheme of things, I really haven’t missed much. Knowing that I am not missing out, has eliminated more stress. I breathe deeper.

Now I know social media was my vice, and maybe it isn’t yours. But is there anything that by simply taking control over it, becoming more intentional, and perhaps eliminating would give your soul a cleanse? Would doing so free up more emotional, mental, or physical space to really help you be a happier version of yourself? What would you do to fill that added time, space, energy? Would you be a better, more present mom and wife? Would you move more? Would you cook more? Would you have more time to relax?

Was uninstalling the Facebook app on my phone hard to do… yes, yes it really was. But was it good for my SOUL? 100% yes. And honestly, I have no intention of reinstalling the app any time soon. 🙂