Phone Detox Review: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

I did it! Nearly 63 hours with NO PHONE!!! No Texts! No Calls! No Social Media! No Immediate Updates!

It was so FREEING! Matthew and I were able to have fun with one another (even though he didn’t give up his phone, he seemed to be on it less because I was not on it). The kids didn’t play phone calls on their plastic phones as much.

Instead we went swimming, and there was no stress about leaving my phone outside in the heat or fear of it getting wet.

But, there was some real anxiety that I was noticing about my phone. In fact three things became very clear, and they are things that I am going to have to work on over the next few months.

1.) I have a fear of missing out. Yes, FOMO. I am scared that I will miss something happening if I don’t have my phone on. I will miss a news story. I will miss something that happened at the studio without seeing social media updates. I will miss out, and be out of the loop. But…

2.) I have a fear of missing opportunity at work. We have a new sales ad that launched last week. We had just started getting new leads. I had this fear that if I wasn’t on my game, working those opportunities with urgency, I was going to lose them. They were not going to trust us with their health and fitness, they would choose another gym and be let down by their goals, we would miss the chance to make more money, it would ultimately affect my families financial security… (yes, my head goes everywhere when it comes to helping people and taking care of my family). Though it is nice to have a good work ethic, this type of behavior often causes me to be in “work mode” 24/7. When I see a notification pop up about a lead, I normally stop whatever I am doing to try to work it. Speed and urgency have always been king. This weekend, it was out of sight, out of mind. It was nice. But…

3.) I have a fear of letting people down. Like the fear of missing out and missed opportunity, I also have a fear of letting people down. This means if people expect things from me or need questions answered and I am not available to help, I am letting them down. This also means that I have not set any boundaries for when is my time. Instead, my time belongs to everyone else, because I could let them down. But…

All those BUTs…. Yes, they accumulated and at midnight on Sunday I woke up in a total panic attack. My heart was racing. My breath was short. My mind was restless. I tried to lay there and fall back asleep. No luck. An hour later, I got out of bed, walked the house, did a 5 minute workout, wrote in my journal… no luck. My heart still raced, my mind still wondered, my breath still shallow. I tried to go back to bed. That didn’t help. Finally at 3:30 am, I moved to the couch. At this point, I was annoyed and tired. I buried my face in the pillow and surrendered to a sleepless night.

So what was the cause? Why was my heart racing? What was my mind restless about?

TURNING ON THE PHONE!

Yes! I was having a panic attack because I had to face my fears of what I had missed out on, what kind of opportunities I missed, and who I let down because I wasn’t glued to my phone for 63 hours. Because I put down the powerful cell phone and focused my powers on being a connected wife and mother. Because I enjoyed the hot summer days and the 4th of July with the people I love.

Is it just me or this shouldn’t cause panic and anxiety. Where did I go wrong that this has happened? And most importantly, what can I do to find the balance. Truth be told, I don’t know. I am not sure if there is a real solution other than learning to not let myself down. Because I do let myself down when I am in fear of always being available to not let others down. I do let myself down when I miss the opportunities to have fun with the kids. I do let myself down when I miss out on the moments in front of me because I am always looking for what I am missing out on social media.

Just like everything in life, balance is hard. Creating new habits is hard. We will resort to what we have always done because it is easy. This is a little harder because it is not just my boundaries that are being affected but people who rely on me for information, and in a world where we can access anything instantly, if I don’t respond, I fear I am not looked upon as reliable, which may ruin my reputation, and my reputation is so important to me.

The solution has to be easy. Maybe as simple as a Facebook post every Sunday that I am spending the day taking care of my family and will return on Monday morning, allowing people to know that my life and time is valuable to me too.

Other solutions are welcomed too… Would love to have some real problem solving, brain storming sessions around this topic and how to maximize and prioritize our time without feeling guilty. Then some accountability to actually follow through on giving myself my time and energy back without dedicating it all to the ALMIGHTY PHONE!

Anyone else want to join me?