Recently I read an article from Morgan Stanley stating that by 2030 women are going to control over $30 Trillion dollars. That is 2/3 of all the assets in our nation. WOW! Talk about a great wealth transfer. Unfortunately, over the last few months, as I have met with dozens of women, I have realized that women lack the knowledge, confidence, and time to really understand personal finance. So it raises the question, what is this wealth transfer going to be like? How are we going to control this money? My personal thoughts can be summed up in one word: YIKES. I foresee an overwhelming number of women feeling crazed and scared simply because we don’t get it.
Today, it is critical that women understand money. But if you don’t, I can’t place the blame on you. Personal finance is not taught in many public schools, which makes financial concepts elusive, complicated, and extremely frustrating. People simply don’t get it because we were never taught it, and this lack of knowledge creates problems in our families, from sleepless nights wondering how a bill will get paid to maxing out credit cards. Most Americans blame money and finance for so many of their issues.
The lack of understanding, available education, and the wealth transfer to women is why I entered the industry. For over 20 years I specialized in coaching, educating, empowering, and giving accountability to women. I also know that women are underserved in the financial services industry because when you lack understanding of something, like money, talking about it becomes taboo, and seeking help becomes hard. Because of this problem, many women believe that working with an advisor is only for the wealthy, a stereotype I need to break because that is not who I am. I am someone who listens to understand what is going on. I love to meet people where they are and develop a map to get them to where they want to be. I am someone who checks in and pays attention in order for you to follow through on making your goals a reality. I am someone who understands that sometimes it takes a little extra motivation to reach a goal and that progress towards that goal is always more important than giving up. I believe in people even when they have a hard time believing in themselves. Ultimately, I transform lives. And that job title is amazing.
The future of money is female, and it is critical that women begin to understand it so we don’t screw up what is our responsibility. It is time we jump into growth mode and begin to properly educate ourselves. It is time we grow in confidence as we inherit wealth from our parents and spouses. It is time that we feel empowered and in control of our spending. This isn’t a pitch to come talk to me, though I am here to provide a judgment-free space to listen to and understand your concerns and questions and to educate you on how money can work for you. But, this is a plea that you take your knowledge about money more seriously. In just 6 years the need for women to understand money is going to change drastically. Start learning now. Put it on your goals list. Take action by asking questions. Build that confidence. Spread the need to others in your life. Support one another, grow together, and take this transfer with control, power, and excitement. I want to change that thought about the wealth transfer from YIKES to YESSSS!
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Why I am a Financial Professional
I was raised by two finance professionals. My dad was a banker. My mom managed a local branch of Household Finance. Money, investing, saving, budgeting, etc was all common dinner table conversations; however, my brother and I would rather fold up a piece of paper and play football. I grew up in a family that every Christmas I would receive stocks paid for by dividends and government bonds (you know the kind that takes decades to mature). The 8-year-old me didn’t value these presents, I just wanted the Barbie doll. But the 30+-year-old me sees the value, and looking back I am thankful for the experience and knowledge passed on to me.
When I was in junior high, Mom would set me up with a weekly budget/ allowance. I had to budget my lunch money and spending money. If I wanted something I would have to figure out how to save that money to make the purchase. This continued throughout high school. Understanding money coming in versus money going out helped me know where to spend my dollars wisely.
Yes, my parents tried to pass on financial literacy to me throughout my teen years. But, admittedly I took those lessons for granted. Why? My need for something now was stronger than my need for financial stability and freedom in my 40s, 50s, and 60s. Sometimes looking back, I think retirement was just too far away to really take that need seriously. I fell victim to the immediate want vesus the long term want mentality. My wants of today trumped my wants of the future.
Then, as life continued, I found it hard to admit failure with money- especially when your parents tried so hard to teach you better. It is a little embarrassing to discuss things like credit card debt, credit scores, money in a saving account, budget, investing, and how perhaps you are trying to just make ends meet living paycheck to paycheck. There are so many negative stereotypes associated with each one of these areas that for many ignorances or pushing the problem aside is just easier.
When Matthew and I finally decided to take our wealth more seriously, we were in our 30s. And we knew we needed a coach. This coach didn’t necessarily need to tell us what to do, but, instead, to change my perspective, help me problem solve, and hold us accountable to taking these goals seriously.
The good news is that one of the ways we learn is by making mistakes. I am glad I have the life experiences of learning about money to help me relate to others who need help. I can pass these lessons on. Like many I have paid off student-loan debt (thanks to a 3rd degree that I didn’t even finish). I have overcome credit card debt. I have lived paycheck to paycheck and taught myself how to save so that stress isn’t so dire.
Admitting all this is embarrassing, especially because I should have known better because my parents tried so hard to give me the tools and teach me about money. But it is all true. When I decided to take my money seriously, my life changed. And I have gained a ton of knowledge including how to create the habits to get yourself unstuck. I am literally walking, talking proof that if I can make these changes, you can too. And I am here to help.
Financial planning isn’t just about investments and portfolios. It isn’t just for the rich and soon-to-be retired. Financial advising is here to help you take control of your bad habits, and for you to take ownership of your money. It is for you and for your family to be protected in case the unimaginable happens. It is for you to dream about a work-optional lifestyle instead of a life where you must work. And I can’t wait to watch people gain confidence and control of their money and watch people dream in exciting, amazing ways, createing a life where those dreams come true. -
That Used to Be Me: 3 Lifechanging Transformations
“Have you ever looked at older photo of you and think to yourself, ‘I can’t believe that used to be me!'”
This was the opening sentence of my reading this morning. I sometimes think between Facebook memories and time hop photos that daily remind us of our past, we are constantly confronted with who we used to be. Luckily, I find comfort in these memories, and I am proud of my past. But I also know I have grown and changed in ways that have made me better than what those pictures have captured.
If I had to narrow it down, I would have to say in the last 10 years I have had 3 major transformations.1.) Becoming a mother.
On Friday the 13th of 2016, I entered the world of motherhood. Your world changes. You learn to problem-solve like never before. You learn to be prepared. You learn patience. You learn to manage your time differently. But for me, I learned to be more selfless. Prior to motherhood, I could pretty much do whatever I wanted. I had freedom. I didn’t have to worry about certain consequences for my actions. I could just be. But children change your perspective. You put their needs before your own. You don’t have the same freedoms or personal space. The transformation is truly beautiful and hard and easy and perfect and amazing all at the same time.
2.) Learning to say “No.”
This one came gradually. And in fact, there are days that I am still working on it. But with time, I learned that I can’t do it all. Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can do for your life is to just say, “No.” I have learned that the temporary pain of saying no leads to new perspectives, habits, long-term gains, and ultimately transformations. For example, learning to say no to late-night snacking, lead to better more conscious eating habits, which ultimately leads to weight loss and better body image. Another example is learning to say “no” to using my credit card. This lead to less frivolous spending, less debt, more money awareness, extra money in the emergency fund, and better spending habits.
3.) Taking my “wealth” seriously
Certain things bring “quality” to our lives. For me, it’s family, health, and wealth. Working toward financial stability relieved so much stress in my life. I wasn’t up all night worrying about the bills that needed to be paid. I didn’t panic money became tight due to job issues for both Matthew and I. Not having to worry about money freed up space to give to my family and take my health seriously. I truly believe that when you transform your relationship with money, you can transform other important areas in your life.
So yes, I look at those old photos. I appreciate who I was then and the lessons and transformations I have had since then. Not every path is led for us like the Yellow Brick Road. Sometimes we have to find out way, make tough decisions, learn to be selfless and fail. It all happens, but that is how we transform. I can’t wait to see what the next opportunity to transform brings. -
I Just Wanna Help People
I think the title of this blog explains it all. For the last 9+ years, I have been helping people with their health and fitness. Before that, I spent 8 years helping people through education. But, I am not getting any younger. After months of deliberation, I want to take my passion in a different way… I want to help people with their retirement and financial investments.
You see, I grew up with parents who were both in finance. Typical dinner conversation included conversation about how money works and grows. For Christmas, instead of a Barbie Doll, I got stocks and government bonds purchased from dividends. Sounds so fun, right?
That is why when I graduated at 18 and moved to Toledo, I was determined to figure it out on my own. 5 years ago, I joined a Toastmasters group to improve my public speaking and leadership skills. That is where I met Alec, a financial professional with Wealth Wave. At the time, I wasn’t looking to get into finance. In fact, my entire life, I told myself I never wanted to end up like my parents. And I don’t want you to mishear anything… I am still happily helping people in health and fitness. But I always thought I could do more.
I believe health and wealth go hand and hand, and some of our biggest social problems are both in health and finance. Our habits with spending, movement, and nutrition are all very similar. If you can learn to adjust your habits with any of them, your life will be changed. Sometimes you just need the go-to coach with the knowledge and recommendations to help you learn more.
In 2020, Alec handed me the “How Money Works” book. I handed it to Matthew, who after 45 minutes handed it back to me. Upon which we had one of our big answers questioned. Even though Matthew and I had a house, car payments, and two kids… neither one of us had life insurance that would be able to help in case the unimaginable happened. Alec provided the solution that we were looking for.
But once we talked to Alec, we realized that he had other solutions to some of our smaller money concerns including how to consolidate scattered 401Ks from various jobs and how to invest money in different accounts to allow our money to work for us instead of us always working for money.
In January of this year, Alec and I had a different conversation about how I could become a part of the team. I love to help people and problem-solve, and sometimes you need to learn new skills to help people in different ways. That is my passion. That is where I feel most confident and fulfilled. That is where I know I can have the biggest impact and influence in life… and that is why I decided to jump in… take on a new challenge, and learn to help people in a different way.
I dived in. And I went “back to school” so to say. I enrolled in different certification classes. Though I am not all the way to where I want to be with licensing and certifications, I will be by June. I have completed my Life and Health Insurance license and am able to help with both needs, as well as different annuity options. Within a few months, I will be able to help with other investment needs, including IRA options. I am really excited about what the future holds.
Some of you may still be asking why… and the answer is really simple. I just want to be able to help people wherever I can. And the more I know, the more I can provide to the people I care about and love. Helping and serving is who I am… and it is so exciting to see where I can take this new knowledge and ability. Let’s go! -
Being Humbled: Progress Not Perfection
It is January 4th and I pick up the barbell to do a set of overhead squats as part of my current training program. I put the bar overhead and begin to lower myself into a squat. I can’t do it. My arms won’t stay up. I feel like I am being pulled forward and may fall on my face.
I want to muscle my way through the motion… but I seriously can’t. I throw the bar to the floor. I FAIL.Frustrated I grab the PVC pipe, hit record on my phone, and try again. Then I send the video to my brother. “Help me fix this, PLEASE!”
Within moments I get a reply the length of a book. He points out how I am leaning forward. He gives me a few suggested drills to help increase my shoulder mobility and work on the overhead squat. I get to work.
I am a firm believer in the saying “progress not perfection.” But I am also one that will practice like hell to get it right. So I get to work. I stretch. I work on engaging different muscle groups, I work on shoulder mobility.
A week later, thinking that with all the work I put in during the week, I am finally ready to master this overhead squat. I get the bar up, pull it back, and get my shoulders back. I begin to squat. I can’t. Literally, I can’t go down. I feel like I am falling backward.
Probably more frustrated than the previous week, I drop the barbell, grab the PVC pipe, hit record on my phone, videoed myself, and sent it to my brother. “Help, what am I doing now? ”
Again, he is quick to reply. Being a good coach he points out my corrections. Tells me to keep practicing, and gives me some more exercises to help me make the needed improvements. And I get back to work.
Then this week, humbled by previous weeks of failure, I skipped the barbell and went straight to the PVC pipe. I prepare myself. and begin to overhead squat. Immediately, I can tell these ones feel different. My shoulders are engaged, my back feels straighter, and the depth of my squat feels good. I grabbed my phone and hit record….
WOW!!! That looks better was my only response. I sent it to my brother. Again, I get a response, only this time impressed with how far my overhead squat has come. In true brotherly fashion, he did give me a few pointers and techniques, minor corrections in the grand scheme of things, but overall he was impressed.
And I felt proud.
Being humbled by something you can’t do is difficult to stomach sometimes, especially as an adult when we don’t try new things very often. Every ounce felt weak when I couldn’t do this squat. It was deflating. It was frustrating.
But I did learn a few lessons along the way to help. These lessons can be applied to anything you are looking to improve.
1.) Remove the weight- take the load off.
2.) Hit video record- sometimes looking at it from a different angle will help you too.
3.) Let someone better than you take a look at the video and offer insight.
4.) Work on small details, because they are all connected to the big goal.
5.) Think progress, not perfection.
6.) Practice.
7.) Be patient, you won’t fix it overnight.
8.) All reps count, keep recording, keep getting coaching, and keep practicing.
9.) You will get it.
When feeling like you are failing, don’t walk away and pout in frustration. Instead, use these steps. They can be applied to anything from athletic movement, presentations, training for work, and so much more. -
Back to the Gym… Congrats!
For everyone who is starting a fitness routine, or getting back into the gym… CONGRATS! It isn’t easy! And you are getting better.
I took 10 days away from the gym. In my world, it seems like a lifetime.
To be completely honest on Monday, I convinced myself to skip my workout. I knew it was going to hurt. I would be sore… and I didn’t want to do it. I let my excuses get the best of me.
But on Tuesday, I ditched all excuses and got it in. I lifted. I taught a class. I did a Bas Rutten. Needless to say, I didn’t ease back into anything. And, I feel it today. My chest and shoulders are sore. My abs are sore. My legs and booty are sore. But I am glad I got back after it. It feels good to be back in my routine.
I know starting/ or getting back into a routine is hard. So for everyone who took the first step in creating a new habit, a new choice, and a new lifestyle…. or for everyone who decided to start again (even if it is for the 25th time), CONGRATS! It isn’t easy. It will suck at times. But the journey is worth it in the end. Staying focused on the long-term result and taking it one day at a time will get you there.
Need help with staying committed? That is another topic for another day. 🙂 Today, celebrate the fact that you did it (despite the soreness or other struggles along the way). And know that people are proud of you and recognize that it takes a lot of courage, grit, perseverance, and determination to start again. -
23 in 2023 Bucket List
This week multiple people shared a similar idea with books to read next year, places to travel, etc.
I saw someone do a 23-in-23 list. I think this can bring it all together. Books, vacations, projects, habits, etc.
SO….
Why not make it a graphic and share it with everyone as a free download?
In order to make it work, think about 23 things your want to do in 2023. Matthew and I sat down last night and did it together. We brainstormed about things we could build, habits we wanted to put in place, and ways we can make our family stronger. We also talked about places to visit (even for a day trip that accepts crazy dogs). We just talked and connected for well over an hour about how we can make our lives better individually and together. It was great!
You can easily do this activity alone or with others. Then you can share it. Cross them off when they happen. Make some of your bucket list items a true reality.
Download, print, share, and enjoy! And if you really want to start a conversation, share some of your 23 in 2023 Bucket List ideas below. You never know who you may inspire.Don’t forget if you like this be sure to subscribe to get all the latest coming your way.
If you need more ideas for how to set your goals for 2023, check out the blog https://purposelyempowered.com/word-of-the-year-for-2023/ which has a new twist on how to set up your year for success. 🙂 -
The Hosting Site Auto-renewed. Now what? A Glimpse of 2022
This morning the website hosting platform I use for the backend of this site auto-renewed. It was unexpected.
Honestly, I have not done anything with my blog in over a year, 15 months to be more exact. I forgot that the hosting platform was due to renew. When it did, I figured it was a sign that I needed to make a decision. Either I was going to have to go figure out how to cancel my renewal (which auto-paid-in-full for the next 3 years) or I would chalk it up to divine intervention and get back to some of my original ideas that I had when I began this page.Sometimes the world works in mysterious ways. Recently, as I was cleaning out some old journals/ planners from 2019, the same year I launched this site. I stumbled across my original intentions for the purposelyempowered blog and my plans for how I wanted to help people. Reading those journals, I was more ambitious. I was more confident. I was determined. I had dreams. I had goals. I wasn’t so jaded.
But, I also never completely followed through with that plan. In fact, to be completely transparent, for the last three years, I have been on a damn hamster wheel having the same conversations and rarely acting on any of my dreams or desires.
Maybe that is why I quit writing. Maybe the last three years have taken my voice and all the risk out of me and replaced it with a ton of anxiety and angst. Instead of building those dreams, I feel like at times I have hibernated or backed down from my true potential. I have become scared of what people think or how they would react to my ideas, even the people I love and trust. I found myself rolling my eyes at personal development coaches and others who were motivating people to play bigger. I didn’t see the point of playing bigger. I was stuck. I lost that spark.2022 reflected that “stuckness.” I have gone off the radar. I haven’t felt necessarily empowered. I haven’t felt inspired. It is hard to write and do things to inspire, motivate, and empower others when you don’t feel it yourself. At times I felt like I was going through the motions and at other times I felt like I had so many plates spinning that I couldn’t control them. This year was exhausting and draining… not inspiring… not empowering…
Yes, there were still plenty of good moments. The kids are growing so fast, and it is amazing to watch them flourish. I am thankful for so many blessings I have around me. I look for them all the time and smile. Those habits I have built (finding gratitude, looking for the daily miracle, etc) haven’t changed. Matthew reminds me daily that I am loved and special. We have traveled, even staying in a hotel for the first time with the kids. We have visited friends. I started taking Krav Maga, and have made it to my blue belt. I find a lot of strength in learning how to defend myself.
The studio changed locations, which is a blessing and a much better space to bring growth. It is also closer to home. But, more than anything, I miss my daily conversations with my mom. I haven’t been able to carve out time in my schedule now that I am not driving in the car for 20 minutes spans. Chatting with her was a chance to clear my mind, straighten out my thoughts, bitch and complain without any judgment or repercussions, and realign my ideas.
I wish I could say I quit writing because I have been so busy doing all these amazing things. But, I haven’t. I have been surviving. Life has its seasons. We all need to go through the uncomfortable and take a risk in order to better ourselves for those around us. The autorenewal was my reminder to get back to me and take that risk. So here I am… literally autorenewing a side of me that I have let surrender to circumstance. -
A New Behind The Scenes Project
I have not posted much this month.
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But I have been writing a lot, actually… A WHOLE LOT!
At the beginning of March, I was hired to ghostwrite an e-book. I willingly took on the project with excitement and vigor. It has been a long time since I sat down to write anything over 1500 words. Due to signed wavers, I cannot share many details about the book, other than it was six chapters, 20,000 words, deals with toddler activities, and will be available on Amazon once finished. I do not have the official title or the “author’s name” for which I was writing. But the entire book was written and edited within 25 days.
I never thought I would write a book.
I never thought I was capable.
I never thought I had enough to say.
Therefore, when I took on the challenge, I didn’t have many expectations. I will say, however, that it was easier to write for someone else. In an odd way, it is liberating knowing that 99% of the people who read the book cannot associate it with my name. It is also nice to know that my income is not dependent on the number of books that I sell.
On the other side, I am really proud of the book. Upon completion, I couldn’t believe how easy it was to get words into sentences, which turn into chapters, which turned into nearly 60 single-spaced pages, all within a matter of weeks. I was reminded of how easy it is to complete a project like this when you have an outline and plan. Then, the easy part becomes executing that plan each day. Perhaps, maybe in the future, I will take on my own project and publish my own book.
But, in the meantime, here we are. Shelley Szparka is a soon-to-be-published Ghostwriter. And I think it is pretty cool! -
Soul Care- A Fresh Beginning
I believe it is never too early for a fresh start. Monday’s are powerful days for me because they represent a new week, a new chance to grow. The first of the month is again an empowering day for me because it too is a fresh start. Same with my birthday, which also happens to be New Year’s Day. It is a fresh start, a clean slate to a brand new year. We have 365 days to turn our lives around into what we dream them to be.
I love when new potential members come into the studio for the first time. Most of them are looking for a fresh start, a chance to begin anew. When I break down some walls and get them really talking about their dreams and goals, I sense a passion about what they want and help them believe that they can do it. When they leave, their soul is on fire. There is a renewed energy to them. I also feel more alive, listening, watching, anticipating the growth this person is about to make my my team and I’s help.
Then through the course of the next few weeks, my job is to keep that energy alive. To be honest it is not the easy job. Each person needs different fuel to continue on their new fitness journey, without that fuel, many times old habits re-emerge tempting them to go back to the life they are trying to leave behind.ÂI have often found that it is easiest to renew my energy or someone else’s by renewing hope and by asking questions. It is through questions that we can learn what is working, what is not working, and then better understand how to improve it. Questions are powerful, amazing tools to help create your dreams into a reality. (Seriously, simple ask yourself a question like “what in my life is working right now?” And I am sure your will find answers. From there as “Why is it working?” And again more answers will be found. Then ask, “How did I get that to work?” more answers. Finally ask, “how can I apply what is working and how I got it to work to something that isn’t working in my life right now?” Again, more answers will be found.)
The best part of a question is that if you don’t know the answers you can always learn and discover them. Sometimes this discovery is by examining your past behaviors and patterns and creating change. Sometimes this discovery is through reading and researching new more exciting ways to do something. And, yet, sometimes this discovery is through asking for help, though a majority of us have an extremely hard time doing so.ÂWhy is asking for help so difficult? I believe it is because throughout our lives we were taught to achieve independence: to become independent thinkers, to rely on solely ourselves. What happens is that this way of thinking eventually becomes our identity. We ultimately associate our very essence as self-serving. We don’t need help. Therefore, asking for help becomes hard, uncomfortable. We fear others will see us as weak, dumb, incapable.
Truth be told, as a coach, I am always willing to help people. Unfortunately, I am also not a mind reader. I cannot force my help on someone who is still looking at themselves as totally independent in their fresh beginning. I am on their team. It becomes a give and take relationship. With that, the super independent people have to be a little vulnerable, and willing to trust me and the process to communicate ways to make the changes last. Alas, change is very hard to do independently.
Most people also know that change is hard without guidance. That is another reason why they walk through the door. They are looking for motivation, inspiration, accountability to keep them on the path they want to go down and not on the current path they are on. Many of these people have started a million times (think about how many at home workouts or new diets you began and quit within 2 weeks). Eventually their independent, old self always won. It creates a feeling of self-defeat and that the self-sabotaging believe that you can’t do it.
The people who ultimately do make the lasting change learn one priceless habit, the habit of asking for help. That habit is one where you break down the identity wall, and continue to get coaching, guidance, accountability, and strength to create your dreams into reality and make your goals a working part of your life. Asking for help is one way to feed your soul, and to really get a fresh start.