• Empowerment

    Being Humbled: Progress Not Perfection

    It is January 4th and I pick up the barbell to do a set of overhead squats as part of my current training program. I put the bar overhead and begin to lower myself into a squat. I can’t do it. My arms won’t stay up. I feel like I am being pulled forward and may fall on my face.

    I want to muscle my way through the motion… but I seriously can’t. I throw the bar to the floor. I FAIL.

    Frustrated I grab the PVC pipe, hit record on my phone, and try again. Then I send the video to my brother. “Help me fix this, PLEASE!”

    Within moments I get a reply the length of a book. He points out how I am leaning forward. He gives me a few suggested drills to help increase my shoulder mobility and work on the overhead squat. I get to work.

    I am a firm believer in the saying “progress not perfection.” But I am also one that will practice like hell to get it right. So I get to work. I stretch. I work on engaging different muscle groups, I work on shoulder mobility.

    A week later, thinking that with all the work I put in during the week, I am finally ready to master this overhead squat. I get the bar up, pull it back, and get my shoulders back. I begin to squat. I can’t. Literally, I can’t go down. I feel like I am falling backward.

    Probably more frustrated than the previous week, I drop the barbell, grab the PVC pipe, hit record on my phone, videoed myself, and sent it to my brother. “Help, what am I doing now? ”

    Again, he is quick to reply. Being a good coach he points out my corrections. Tells me to keep practicing, and gives me some more exercises to help me make the needed improvements. And I get back to work.

    Then this week, humbled by previous weeks of failure, I skipped the barbell and went straight to the PVC pipe. I prepare myself. and begin to overhead squat. Immediately, I can tell these ones feel different. My shoulders are engaged, my back feels straighter, and the depth of my squat feels good. I grabbed my phone and hit record….

    WOW!!! That looks better was my only response. I sent it to my brother. Again, I get a response, only this time impressed with how far my overhead squat has come. In true brotherly fashion, he did give me a few pointers and techniques, minor corrections in the grand scheme of things, but overall he was impressed.

    And I felt proud.

    Being humbled by something you can’t do is difficult to stomach sometimes, especially as an adult when we don’t try new things very often. Every ounce felt weak when I couldn’t do this squat. It was deflating. It was frustrating.

    But I did learn a few lessons along the way to help. These lessons can be applied to anything you are looking to improve.

    1.) Remove the weight- take the load off.
    2.) Hit video record- sometimes looking at it from a different angle will help you too.
    3.) Let someone better than you take a look at the video and offer insight.
    4.) Work on small details, because they are all connected to the big goal.
    5.) Think progress, not perfection.
    6.) Practice.
    7.) Be patient, you won’t fix it overnight.
    8.) All reps count, keep recording, keep getting coaching, and keep practicing.
    9.) You will get it.

    When feeling like you are failing, don’t walk away and pout in frustration. Instead, use these steps. They can be applied to anything from athletic movement, presentations, training for work, and so much more.

  • Empowerment,  Habits

    Making A Change Is Hard: Do a Challenge

    There are a few things that I love about a 6 Week Challenge, whether it is focused on fitness, finances, relationships, spirituality, or some other area in your life. Here are 3 reasons why I think starting habit change with a challenge is a great beginning point.

    1.) There is a starting and ending date.
    Most of the time when we think about creating new habits, it is something that can be overwhelming. Seeing a starting and ending date gives you an advantage. An end date allows you to keep the eye on the prize. Personally, I think 6 weeks is a good amount of time. Typically, it takes 21 days to start to build the habit. It takes longer to make it part of who you are and your lifestyle. 6 weeks ingrains the habit into who you are, without feeling the pressures of lifelong commitment. By seeing the end date, you can build your confidence when you hit it. That confidence is so valuable to pursuing any change.

    2.) Challenges normally come with others who are doing it with you and a coach to support you.
    Having multiple people involved gives you a sense of community, support, and accountability. The cliche that it takes a village to raise a child, is also so true when it comes to changing your habits. People think that making changes is a lonely hard process. They are scared to ask for help. But the truth is when you have like-minded people make the changes together and a coach guiding you, you will achieve success. You have others to give guidance, offer support, keep you focused, and celebrate the smallest wins.

    3.) Challenges include invaluable knowledge.
    The other cliche is “knowledge is power.” But it is true. And the amount of knowledge you gain during a challenge is invaluable. During a challenge, you will be forced to learn. When you learn something, it can never be taken away from you. During a challenge, you will be forced to problem-solve. Those lessons will last longer than the length of the challenge. During a challenge, you will face adversity. Your perseverance will grow and be with you forever. If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you. And a challenge is designed to help you make those positive changes.

    So, now that the New Year’s Resolutions are starting to become harder, maybe research different ways you can get in on a challenge to help you begin fresh, find community, and learn.

  • Uncategorized

    The Hosting Site Auto-renewed. Now what? A Glimpse of 2022

    This morning the website hosting platform I use for the backend of this site auto-renewed. It was unexpected.

    Honestly, I have not done anything with my blog in over a year, 15 months to be more exact. I forgot that the hosting platform was due to renew. When it did, I figured it was a sign that I needed to make a decision. Either I was going to have to go figure out how to cancel my renewal (which auto-paid-in-full for the next 3 years) or I would chalk it up to divine intervention and get back to some of my original ideas that I had when I began this page.

    Sometimes the world works in mysterious ways. Recently, as I was cleaning out some old journals/ planners from 2019, the same year I launched this site. I stumbled across my original intentions for the purposelyempowered blog and my plans for how I wanted to help people. Reading those journals, I was more ambitious. I was more confident. I was determined. I had dreams. I had goals. I wasn’t so jaded.

    But, I also never completely followed through with that plan. In fact, to be completely transparent, for the last three years, I have been on a damn hamster wheel having the same conversations and rarely acting on any of my dreams or desires.

    Maybe that is why I quit writing. Maybe the last three years have taken my voice and all the risk out of me and replaced it with a ton of anxiety and angst. Instead of building those dreams, I feel like at times I have hibernated or backed down from my true potential. I have become scared of what people think or how they would react to my ideas, even the people I love and trust. I found myself rolling my eyes at personal development coaches and others who were motivating people to play bigger. I didn’t see the point of playing bigger. I was stuck. I lost that spark.

    2022 reflected that “stuckness.” I have gone off the radar. I haven’t felt necessarily empowered. I haven’t felt inspired. It is hard to write and do things to inspire, motivate, and empower others when you don’t feel it yourself. At times I felt like I was going through the motions and at other times I felt like I had so many plates spinning that I couldn’t control them. This year was exhausting and draining… not inspiring… not empowering…

    Yes, there were still plenty of good moments. The kids are growing so fast, and it is amazing to watch them flourish. I am thankful for so many blessings I have around me. I look for them all the time and smile. Those habits I have built (finding gratitude, looking for the daily miracle, etc) haven’t changed. Matthew reminds me daily that I am loved and special. We have traveled, even staying in a hotel for the first time with the kids. We have visited friends. I started taking Krav Maga, and have made it to my blue belt. I find a lot of strength in learning how to defend myself.

    The studio changed locations, which is a blessing and a much better space to bring growth. It is also closer to home. But, more than anything, I miss my daily conversations with my mom. I haven’t been able to carve out time in my schedule now that I am not driving in the car for 20 minutes spans. Chatting with her was a chance to clear my mind, straighten out my thoughts, bitch and complain without any judgment or repercussions, and realign my ideas.

    I wish I could say I quit writing because I have been so busy doing all these amazing things. But, I haven’t. I have been surviving. Life has its seasons. We all need to go through the uncomfortable and take a risk in order to better ourselves for those around us. The autorenewal was my reminder to get back to me and take that risk. So here I am… literally autorenewing a side of me that I have let surrender to circumstance.



  • Empowerment

    Struggle, Perseverance, Character, and Hope

    We all struggle. Sometimes you don’t realize your struggles until you watch others through your eyes.

    Lily, my 3-year-old, has been struggling to learn how to pedal her tricycle for over a year. Last year when we introduced her to it, she would put her feet on the pedals and throw a fit because she wasn’t able to push them. Eventually, we created a method to push her on the tricycle.


    Soon she became content to push herself with her feet, ignoring the use of the pedals altogether. However, she quickly realized that this method was slower than her brother, Jack.

    Then, as the weather broke this spring, we dug out the tricycle again. And this year, she is off!!!! Pedaling, moving fast, keeping up with Jack, laughing, smiling.

    This story brings me to the point.
    When we struggle, we have a choice. Perseverance or not. At the kickboxing studio, we define perseverance as reaching the point of past failure and deciding to continue. Lily failed at pedaling multiple times. She continued.

    By making the decision to continue, you build your character, which helps define how you see and value yourself. Continuing also gives you hope. Hope fuels a more optimistic mood, grace, and happiness. Hope lets you believe that your dreams and desires are possible. Hope ultimately allows for the possibility to be the person you want to be, and in turn, the person you want to be to the people you love.

    Therefore, next time you are trying to achieve a big goal and find yourself struggling, choose to persevere. It may take time. It may take effort. It may take asking for help. It may take patience. But making the decision to continue will make all the difference in your ultimate strength, happiness, and hope.

    For those of you who are getting ready to do the 28 Day Summer Slim Down at the studio, congrats on taking the first step and signing up. Expect challenges (for it is a challenge). Expect struggle. And we will help you to persevere. Completing even a small challenge will build your character and give you more hope that you can and will achieve your goals long term. And as always, we have your back!

    Go Lily Go!

  • Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    4 Reasons Perseverance Fails

    This week the theme of the studio is all about PERSEVERANCE, which we define as reaching the point of past failure and deciding to continue. I have really been thinking about this definition and how much perseverance is lacking. I came up with four, fairly simple reasons why.

    1.) We are safe. For the most part we don’t have to really fight for anything. Athletes experience perseverance in order to win. Some business owners have to persevere in order to keep their businesses open. But the every day, middle class citizen is pretty safe- they have the necessities (food, shelter, clothing) and then some. There is no need to fight for food, water, life.

    2.) Instant Gratification. Just like we are safe, we can get almost anything we want instantly (or within 2 days with Amazon Prime). Patience is dead, and with the perseverance is dying as well.

    3.) Accountability. If you are the only person on Earth who knows if you persevered that day or gave up, it is really easy to give up. Once you are forced to be held accountable, you are more likely to persevere to achieve something. Without accountability the only person you are letting yourself down, which then can spiral into all other kinds of personal damage like lack of self-confidence or self-credibility– that that is a conversations for a different day.

    4.) Failure is easier. And let’s be honest, as humans we naturally go toward what is easy EVERY. CHANCE. WE. GET.

    I am sure many of you will agree that at least one of these four reasons to be true. How do you discover perseverance through this? It is all a shift in the story you tell yourself.

    1.) Tell yourself failure is off the table. Failure is not an option. Come up with the next step. Then take it. NOW! And that is one way to persevere.

    2.) Find a coach or accountability buddy that you don’t want to let down. During my athletic days, I never wanted to let down my teammates. I would show up to practice early, I would work on my “game” in order to uphold my end of the bargain to make my team better. Do you have someone like this? If not, start hanging around people who are dedicated to the same results you want to achieve, or hire a coach. The investment you put into learning the value of perseverance will far out pay the money spent.

    3.) Find gratification in the small wins of a job well done. If you decided to push past a past failure and did one more, that is a win. Celebrate it. Give yourself a positive pep talk that you have gotten better. Pretty soon doing one more is easy, however, over time that one more adds up drastically and so will your perseverance muscle.

    4.) Remember why you started! So many people have a reason why they started something. Then what ever their goal is becomes hard. It is easier to quit then continue. The pain of continuing is more immediate than the pain of not reaching their end goal. Therefore, once again quitting becomes easy. However, if you remember you why… your end goal, many times you will find the motivation to no give up, to not be a quitter, and to push past failure, and take that next step— to PERSEVERE!

    These are just some of my thoughts. I would love to hear yours. Feel free to comment below. Let’s have a real conversation about this… and what you believe it means to really persevere and succeed.

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