• Empowerment,  Habits,  Purposeful Living

    Why I am a Financial Professional

    I was raised by two finance professionals. My dad was a banker. My mom managed a local branch of Household Finance. Money, investing, saving, budgeting, etc was all common dinner table conversations; however, my brother and I would rather fold up a piece of paper and play football. I grew up in a family that every Christmas I would receive stocks paid for by dividends and government bonds (you know the kind that takes decades to mature). The 8-year-old me didn’t value these presents, I just wanted the Barbie doll. But the 30+-year-old me sees the value, and looking back I am thankful for the experience and knowledge passed on to me.

    When I was in junior high, Mom would set me up with a weekly budget/ allowance. I had to budget my lunch money and spending money. If I wanted something I would have to figure out how to save that money to make the purchase. This continued throughout high school. Understanding money coming in versus money going out helped me know where to spend my dollars wisely.

    Yes, my parents tried to pass on financial literacy to me throughout my teen years. But, admittedly I took those lessons for granted. Why? My need for something now was stronger than my need for financial stability and freedom in my 40s, 50s, and 60s. Sometimes looking back, I think retirement was just too far away to really take that need seriously. I fell victim to the immediate want vesus the long term want mentality. My wants of today trumped my wants of the future.

    Then, as life continued, I found it hard to admit failure with money- especially when your parents tried so hard to teach you better. It is a little embarrassing to discuss things like credit card debt, credit scores, money in a saving account, budget, investing, and how perhaps you are trying to just make ends meet living paycheck to paycheck. There are so many negative stereotypes associated with each one of these areas that for many ignorances or pushing the problem aside is just easier.

    When Matthew and I finally decided to take our wealth more seriously, we were in our 30s. And we knew we needed a coach. This coach didn’t necessarily need to tell us what to do, but, instead, to change my perspective, help me problem solve, and hold us accountable to taking these goals seriously.

    The good news is that one of the ways we learn is by making mistakes. I am glad I have the life experiences of learning about money to help me relate to others who need help. I can pass these lessons on. Like many I have paid off student-loan debt (thanks to a 3rd degree that I didn’t even finish). I have overcome credit card debt. I have lived paycheck to paycheck and taught myself how to save so that stress isn’t so dire.

    Admitting all this is embarrassing, especially because I should have known better because my parents tried so hard to give me the tools and teach me about money. But it is all true. When I decided to take my money seriously, my life changed. And I have gained a ton of knowledge including how to create the habits to get yourself unstuck. I am literally walking, talking proof that if I can make these changes, you can too. And I am here to help.

    Financial planning isn’t just about investments and portfolios. It isn’t just for the rich and soon-to-be retired. Financial advising is here to help you take control of your bad habits, and for you to take ownership of your money. It is for you and for your family to be protected in case the unimaginable happens. It is for you to dream about a work-optional lifestyle instead of a life where you must work. And I can’t wait to watch people gain confidence and control of their money and watch people dream in exciting, amazing ways, createing a life where those dreams come true.

  • Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    That Used to Be Me: 3 Lifechanging Transformations

    “Have you ever looked at older photo of you and think to yourself, ‘I can’t believe that used to be me!'”

    This was the opening sentence of my reading this morning. I sometimes think between Facebook memories and time hop photos that daily remind us of our past, we are constantly confronted with who we used to be. Luckily, I find comfort in these memories, and I am proud of my past. But I also know I have grown and changed in ways that have made me better than what those pictures have captured.



    If I had to narrow it down, I would have to say in the last 10 years I have had 3 major transformations.

    1.) Becoming a mother.


    On Friday the 13th of 2016, I entered the world of motherhood. Your world changes. You learn to problem-solve like never before. You learn to be prepared. You learn patience. You learn to manage your time differently. But for me, I learned to be more selfless. Prior to motherhood, I could pretty much do whatever I wanted. I had freedom. I didn’t have to worry about certain consequences for my actions. I could just be. But children change your perspective. You put their needs before your own. You don’t have the same freedoms or personal space. The transformation is truly beautiful and hard and easy and perfect and amazing all at the same time.

    2.) Learning to say “No.”
    This one came gradually. And in fact, there are days that I am still working on it. But with time, I learned that I can’t do it all. Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can do for your life is to just say, “No.” I have learned that the temporary pain of saying no leads to new perspectives, habits, long-term gains, and ultimately transformations. For example, learning to say no to late-night snacking, lead to better more conscious eating habits, which ultimately leads to weight loss and better body image. Another example is learning to say “no” to using my credit card. This lead to less frivolous spending, less debt, more money awareness, extra money in the emergency fund, and better spending habits.

    3.) Taking my “wealth” seriously
    Certain things bring “quality” to our lives. For me, it’s family, health, and wealth. Working toward financial stability relieved so much stress in my life. I wasn’t up all night worrying about the bills that needed to be paid. I didn’t panic money became tight due to job issues for both Matthew and I. Not having to worry about money freed up space to give to my family and take my health seriously. I truly believe that when you transform your relationship with money, you can transform other important areas in your life.



    So yes, I look at those old photos. I appreciate who I was then and the lessons and transformations I have had since then. Not every path is led for us like the Yellow Brick Road. Sometimes we have to find out way, make tough decisions, learn to be selfless and fail. It all happens, but that is how we transform. I can’t wait to see what the next opportunity to transform brings.

  • Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    Encouraging One Another To Grow

    It’s Ash Wednesday. The start of lent. Each year people look to fast, pray, and give during these 40 days. While some give up alcohol, sugar, soda, fast food, and clutter (please continue the list), I take this time to work on my spiritual life, to prepare my heart.

    This year I am doing an email series by Matthew Kelly entitled The Best Lent Ever. Each day there is a short emailed video for reflection and typically an action item to spread the “Holy Moment.” Today’s action is to encourage someone.

    Immediately, I was like this is an easy one. Being a mom and a fitness coach, I encourage people every day. I encourage my kids to write their letters, read their books, make their beds, and practice karate. I encourage our members to try new moves, to level up their skills, to continue until the bell rings, or to try better food choices. In those areas of life, I have become a MASTER ENCOURAGER. I never considered a moment of encouragement to be a “holy moment” for others. But for someone who rarely receives encouragement, it probably is a moment that is very special. A moment where they are recognized, noticed, pushed to grow, and celebrated.

    Immediately, I thought about the last time I was encouraged. How did I accept it?

    I think I am a person who is better at encouraging others than accepting encouragement myself. As a leader, I think I have created this personality that is the one to lift others instead of ever needing to lift myself. I am a know-it-all. I expect myself to succeed. I will discover answers to be prepared. I love to prove doubters wrong, no encouragement is needed.

    How sad and lonely does that sound?

    Maybe I need to soften my shell (pun intended) a little and allow the encouragement in? Maybe this is an area in which I can grow? To find others who encourage, not compete with me. To allow others to empower me, to believe in me, to encourage more out of me to break those limits.

    I do think that when we are bold enough to encourage one another and are honest with one another about where we would like to see improvement in our lives (whether work, home, school, etc), the right mentors and guides will come into our lives. I believe we need to seek out mentors who will encourage us and help us learn new skills, and we are more likely to succeed. We are not in this world alone. We all need encouragement. We all face challenges. And we all could use that moment of someone noticing that we are trying and offering their knowledge, recognition, and advice to keep going.

    I am not trying to press religion here, but I do think that today’s Lenten message has good humanitarian reasoning. So I challenge you… How can you either encourage someone or accept encouragement today?

  • Empowerment,  Habits,  Purposeful Living

    Wednesday Wisdom: Why Taking Physical Action Benefits So Much More

    I had a client yesterday say that she was ready to make a change physically. However, our discussion took a much different turn. We ended up talking more about emotional and mental health. It’s true when you find physical success, your mental and emotional health grows as a result of that success.

    Those things that tend to scare us a little; for example, learning something new, making a commitment, or changing the direction of schooling, a business, or a career, test who we are at the foundation of our beings. Typically, being “new” or making a change is uncomfortable. It is out of that comfort zone. We are unsure of who or what we are in that new space. In order to make those changes, it takes risks. And risks are more terrifying than those monsters hiding under the bed when we were kids. SImply put, we don’t want to fail.

    When we decide to commit to making that change, that is where we grow. We grow phyically, mentally, and emotionally. Where more people make the mistake is that the commitment to change doesn’t need to be huge. Physically, you don’t need to go to the extreme. In fact, I never recommend that. Why? I think extreme change is hard and unsustainable. You are setting yourself up for failure. But let’s say physically, you start by setting your alarm for 5 minutes earlier in the morning for 1 week. With that 5 minutes, you incorporate some morning stretches. Physically, your body will improve its flexibility, which as we age is super important. And after 1 week, you feel proud of yourself for sticking with your commitment. Mentally, you are also building strength and growth. Stretching tends to help clear the mind. By following through on the 5 minutes a day, you are building confidence and self- credibility. With that confidence, you are emotionally more stable.

    This small improvement to your physical health will give you the power to try (or take a slightly bigger risk) another physical task. Maybe signing up for a yoga class once a week to not only improve that flexibility but balance as well. Or maybe making the physical commitment to after 5 minutes of stretching in the morning, drinking a glass of water (so many physical health benefits there).

    The point is not necessarily about exercise. When we physically do something, take physical action toward something, we grow. And that action, that physical growth, also builds your mental and emotional growth as well. It could be finally making that dentist appointment you have been neglecting for 5 years (action in the process is growth). It could be making the decision to physically wire money into your investment portfolio each week. It doesn’t matter. What matters is the action leads to growth. Learning leads to growth. Being uncomfortable leads to growth.

    What physical actions are you doing this week that will help you grow? Let’s share in the comments. And if you like this and other posts, please subscribe.

  • Empowerment

    Why Your Days Need More Suspense

    I have been thinking a lot about how and why suspense is built into our lives. Every good story has an element of suspense. But many of us avoid this important part in our lives. We all want more out of life, but are not willing to embrace the suspense that makes our story memorable. How do we add it to make our story one worth living?

    According to Webster’s Dictionary, “suspense” is the state of excited or anxious uncertainty about what may happen. Think about things that leave you in suspense. Maybe a scene in a movie. The music, the camera angles, the plot twists. Maybe it’s a chapter of a book and you just have to read the next chapter to discover what happens next. Maybe it is a football game with playoff potential. One event I found suspensful all week long was Demar Hamlin. After his heart attack during Monday Night Football, I wanted to know he was going to be okay. That state of unknowing left me anxious, nervous, checking my phone for updates. During certain TV shows that end with a cliffhanger I find myself lookng online for any spoilers. I want to be the first to know what happens next. The suspense of not knowing, again, gets the best of me. I need to know.

    Those things have filled the void of suspense in my life. I get the fix second-hand. I don’t seek out things that cause suspense that affect my day to day living, When it comes to things that affect me, I often associate suspense with fear and anxiety. My stomach gets nervous. I normally like to control expectations. I don’t like not knowing. I became scared of failure and not being good enough, When I was younger, I thrived on suspense. I loved when I would get excited before a big game or performance. My adreneline would spike. I would get into a zone that I don’t remember parts of games or performance. Now, as I have aged, I find those thrilling moments are not so exciting any more. Even if I practice, the suspense of trying something in my life is hard. I am uncomfortable. If I don’t have control, if I can’t predict what will happen, I struggle.

    So here are my starting thoughts on that feeling of suspense to calm those nerves. I recite like a mantra. “Please give me the courage to expand when I feel restricted, pivot when needed, and leap in order to fly.” and these are the moments of suspense are the exact moments that make my story happen.

    This week, I have a lot coming when it comes to adding suspense in your life, to help with feeling overwhelmed, nervous, and anxious. Hopefully it will fill you with excitement and give you empowerment to take on the unknown of the future. If you want to know more about how to build suspence in your life, subscribe and continue to check back all week!

  • Empowerment,  Habits,  Productivity

    Back to the Gym… Congrats!

    For everyone who is starting a fitness routine, or getting back into the gym… CONGRATS! It isn’t easy! And you are getting better.

    I took 10 days away from the gym. In my world, it seems like a lifetime.
    To be completely honest on Monday, I convinced myself to skip my workout. I knew it was going to hurt. I would be sore… and I didn’t want to do it. I let my excuses get the best of me.

    But on Tuesday, I ditched all excuses and got it in. I lifted. I taught a class. I did a Bas Rutten. Needless to say, I didn’t ease back into anything. And, I feel it today. My chest and shoulders are sore. My abs are sore. My legs and booty are sore. But I am glad I got back after it. It feels good to be back in my routine.


    I know starting/ or getting back into a routine is hard. So for everyone who took the first step in creating a new habit, a new choice, and a new lifestyle…. or for everyone who decided to start again (even if it is for the 25th time), CONGRATS! It isn’t easy. It will suck at times. But the journey is worth it in the end. Staying focused on the long-term result and taking it one day at a time will get you there.

    Need help with staying committed? That is another topic for another day. 🙂 Today, celebrate the fact that you did it (despite the soreness or other struggles along the way). And know that people are proud of you and recognize that it takes a lot of courage, grit, perseverance, and determination to start again.

  • Productivity,  Purposeful Living

    Hasta La Vista, Christmas… In a Few Days!

    Walking past a half-dead poinsettia, I picked it up, walked to the back sliding door, and tossed it on the deck. It’s December 26th, and Christmas in this house is officially OVER!

    I enjoy a month of decor, color, and sparkling lights. But after a month, the rooms feel like they are collapsing in on me. I can’t breathe. Everything is so full, I can’t wait to purge. I can’t wait for rooms to feel big again. I can’t wait to find a spot to set my coffee cup on the end table without having to move something or pray a dang poinsettia leaf won’t fall into it.

    So here I am, minutes after we unwrap each present, putting it all away. In the midst of packing up the totes of Nutcrackers (literally Matthew has collected hundreds over the years), I had an epiphany of sorts. Maybe we are all doing Christmas wrong. Maybe we start too early and are over it too soon.

    Our society has lost the meaning of Christmas. Though we have songs about the “12 Days of Christmas” most people couldn’t tell you when the 12 days of Christmas begin or end. The first day of Christmas is Christmas Day. That’s right- the day we all celebrate. Day 12 is January 6th. The day the three wise men came to Jesus bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

    Obviously, we have created a consumerist culture that celebrates the “preparation” for Christmas. Advent calendars, events, parties, shopping, wrapping, baking, visiting Santa… each year there seems like there is more to do to prepare for Christmas and spend money. And yes, I think it is important to prepare for Christmas. But for me, I do all this preparation so that the day after the event, I can’t wait another moment to put it all away. Hasta la vista, Christmas…

    So while washing and packing all the Christmas dish towels and oven mitts, I continued to think about this epiphany. How can we celebrate these next 12 days? The preparation time is over. Now it is time to party. Am I partying or leaving the party early? It is a 12-day event… and I tapped out after 24 hours. How would life be different if I went into the New Year with a different attitude?

    In the midst of purging, I hit pause on Operation Bye-Bye Christmas. I am going to leave the tree up. It isn’t the pretty tree that we put up the day after Thanksgiving. The needles are falling off. The ornaments that are sagging on the branches. But it is my reminder to still celebrate.

  • Communication,  Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    3 Ways To Achieve Soul Care

    As I continue to really develop the ideas of Soul Care, I think about how you can take care of the essence of who you are… your soul. Taking care of the outer self is easy. The soul is much much much harder. This week I have spent hours talking to members at the studio who have completed the first week of a 28 day fitness challenge, and I realized something. Talking to members and coaching is something that brings me incredible amounts of joy. I love to hear how people are finding success. I love to help people problem solve or give tips to help push past barriers and learn how to make their goals obtainable. As I am doing something that I am really passionate about, I feel refreshed. My soul feels complete. It is being taken care of. As I coach, I have come up with 3 interesting ways to make your soul feel fulfilled.

    1.) Finding small wins, even through tough challenges, builds success.
    We rarely set our soul up for success. However, life is full of adversity, challenges, and failure. In the midst of struggle, we need to find something that is a positive. Our soul’s crave success and positive reinforcement. However, when we lose sight of the good, our soul feels lost, scared, unfulfilled, bitter, depressed. In order to take care of your soul, you must train your brain to find the good, no matter how small it is. Over time, one small good morsel will duplicate. Think about this as a staircase. With each small positive win, you take another step up higher and higher… and before you know it, you are building momentum toward your success. And as you success, your soul builds confidence.

    2.) Perfectionism will kill your soul.
    If you want to be burn out and slowly kill your soul, feed your need to always be perfect. Many of us are asked to always perform at a certain level at work and at home, and perfectionism becomes a weird disease. Eventually, trying to keep the world perfect will drain your soul. Perfectionism is driven by our need for acceptance and validation. It is also driven by fear. When you live in fear, the soul becomes drained, tired, burned out, and neglected. You never feel good enough, smart enough, strong enough. Ditch perfectionism and give you soul some well needed love.

    3.) Get off your Hamster Wheel
    Repeating the same actions day in and day out leads to boredom, which will extinguish the light out of your soul. One of Tony Robbins lessons discusses the 6 Human Needs (structure, variety, community, individuality, growth, and contribution). Structure and routine is good for the soul, but when you are really caring for it, we also need variety. When was the last time you tried something new? Something that made you a little excited or even a little nervous? So much of our time is spent doing the same thing day in and day out. It is hard to get excited. Every so often jump off the hamster wheel. Test some of your limits. Live… and see how your soul responds.

    Like I said, I am just starting to develop these ideas. But, perhaps they can give some guidance to how to feel more fulfilled. Soul Care… it’s the care that will lead down the brick road to happiness.

  • Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    “Self-Care” Makes me Cringe

    There, I finally said it out loud. The term “self care” makes me cringe. And everyone is saying it… “Focus on self-care.” “What are you doing to take care of yourself?” “Are you practicing self-care.” “Do something for yourself, you deserve self-care.” OMG… all this self care talk makes me want to scream. Every time I hear it, my ears have that finger nails on a chalk board sensation.

    And I can hear your response… “Why?” “Wait Shelley, but Self-Care is so important to our well being.” “But self-care is a necessity.”

    Hear me out…
    When I consider my “self,” I typically see my “being” composed of mind, heart, body, and soul. And I think too many times people feed only certain aspects of self. I think it is easy to feed our body (get a workout, get your nails done). I think it is easy to take care of your mind (read a book). I think it is easy to feed your heart (grab coffee with a friend, spend time with your spouse). And to some extent, I think these things are important, but they don’t get to the root of your happiness.

    But what about your soul? The very essence of who you are…

    Unlike the body, mind, or heart… your soul is the last part of you to scream “FEED ME,” and by the time it does, it may be too late.

    So here is my thought. Perhaps instead of focusing on self-care… what is we focused on SOUL-CARE.

    In my professional life, I preach about taking care of your health to prevent diseases such as obesity, heart disease, diabetes and more… What if we preached taking care of our soul in order to help us better take care of our heart, body, and mind.

    The issue is, people don’t discuss SOUL-CARE!
    What is it? How do you do it?

    With soul-care there is a deeper meaning than self care. There is a different purpose, a different why, a different focus. And to be told, I think soul care is bigger than self.

    It is still hard for me to define this idea. It is still being formulated. But I think, perhaps, since it is bigger than self, it could even be giving up of self. It is finding the light and essence of who you are, and when you find it, nourish it, and allow it to grow, you find a different kind of happiness, peace, and self-love.

    What I have found is that when I feed my soul it also makes my mind, body, and heart rejuvenated. I have a deeper desire to eat foods that I enjoy and give me energy. I want to move my body more powerfully to relieve stress and build strength. I am not going through the motions.

    Where do I find SOUL-CARE?

    Soul-care is laughter. Soul-care is gratitude. Soul-care is finding the light. Soul-care is training yourself to be positive. Soul-care may be crying. Soul-care can be spontaneous. Soul-care can be a habit. Soul-care is being present in the moment. Soul-care is done through the senses- seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching. Soul-care can be trying something new. Soul-care speaks to our desires and dreams. Soul-care gives us clarity and focus. Soul-care makes big problems seem small. Soul-care is love, and ultimately love greater than self.

    I honestly am not sure where these ideas are going. All I know is it makes the self-absorbed buzz idea of self-care have a better, more powerful purpose and meaning. It connects with me. It fuels me to want to be more. And with a healthy soul, I can be the better mom, wife, leader, coach than I could by simply taking care of my body, mind, or heart.

    In 2021, I am going to be brave enough to find my SOUL-CARE, and I will share things that I am finding that help me feel connected to and feed my soul in ways that help make my heart, mind, and body that much stronger. Stay tuned for more.

  • Empowerment,  Productivity

    It’s Time To Celebrate

    Stop… Get a piece of paper and a pen…. Do you have them yet?

    Okay now answer the following questions:
    1.) Last week, what is one thing that I am proud of?
    2.) Last week, what is one thing that I accomplished?
    3.) Last week, what is one thing that made me smile?
    4.) Last week, what is one thing that made me feel strong?
    5.) Last week, what is one thing that made me confident?

    Have your answers?

    Read them again.

    When was the last time you thought about really everything you accomplished in a week and said, “dang, I really did do some pretty cool things?” “Man, looking back I really did win my week.”

    Mentally, we tend to focus on the negative or the losses more than the fact that we did some pretty remarkable things. We blow off the important wins and replace them with the self- sabotaging negative losses. It happens, but we can change it.

    How?

    I use a planner that asked me each week to record 3-5 wins. I write them down each Sunday. Because the wins put me in productive, energized state of mind, I then create my plan for the week and what I want to accomplish. The wins, allow me to build momentum off of the previous week’s successes, which inspires and motivates me to have another successful up coming week.

    My recommendation, on Sunday spend 10-20 minutes answering the questions above. Then figure out how to build on those wins during the up coming week. Remember what you pay attention to grows. Paying attention to your success will breed more success, and that will fuel you.

    What are my wins this week?
    1.) Matthew was home and we got to connect as a family like we have never done before.
    2.) I got to video chat with my parents
    3.) I got to connect with members who are doing our challenge and help them- helping people really does feed my soul.
    4.) I got my workouts completed, and ate very healthy.
    5.) I recognized that I missed some of my routine, and created a game plan to get it back in, in a new and creative way.

    What are yours? Comment below! Let’s celebrate our wins and build on our success.

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