“Self-Care” Makes me Cringe

There, I finally said it out loud. The term “self care” makes me cringe. And everyone is saying it… “Focus on self-care.” “What are you doing to take care of yourself?” “Are you practicing self-care.” “Do something for yourself, you deserve self-care.” OMG… all this self care talk makes me want to scream. Every time I hear it, my ears have that finger nails on a chalk board sensation.

And I can hear your response… “Why?” “Wait Shelley, but Self-Care is so important to our well being.” “But self-care is a necessity.”

Hear me out…
When I consider my “self,” I typically see my “being” composed of mind, heart, body, and soul. And I think too many times people feed only certain aspects of self. I think it is easy to feed our body (get a workout, get your nails done). I think it is easy to take care of your mind (read a book). I think it is easy to feed your heart (grab coffee with a friend, spend time with your spouse). And to some extent, I think these things are important, but they don’t get to the root of your happiness.

But what about your soul? The very essence of who you are…

Unlike the body, mind, or heart… your soul is the last part of you to scream “FEED ME,” and by the time it does, it may be too late.

So here is my thought. Perhaps instead of focusing on self-care… what is we focused on SOUL-CARE.

In my professional life, I preach about taking care of your health to prevent diseases such as obesity, heart disease, diabetes and more… What if we preached taking care of our soul in order to help us better take care of our heart, body, and mind.

The issue is, people don’t discuss SOUL-CARE!
What is it? How do you do it?

With soul-care there is a deeper meaning than self care. There is a different purpose, a different why, a different focus. And to be told, I think soul care is bigger than self.

It is still hard for me to define this idea. It is still being formulated. But I think, perhaps, since it is bigger than self, it could even be giving up of self. It is finding the light and essence of who you are, and when you find it, nourish it, and allow it to grow, you find a different kind of happiness, peace, and self-love.

What I have found is that when I feed my soul it also makes my mind, body, and heart rejuvenated. I have a deeper desire to eat foods that I enjoy and give me energy. I want to move my body more powerfully to relieve stress and build strength. I am not going through the motions.

Where do I find SOUL-CARE?

Soul-care is laughter. Soul-care is gratitude. Soul-care is finding the light. Soul-care is training yourself to be positive. Soul-care may be crying. Soul-care can be spontaneous. Soul-care can be a habit. Soul-care is being present in the moment. Soul-care is done through the senses- seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching. Soul-care can be trying something new. Soul-care speaks to our desires and dreams. Soul-care gives us clarity and focus. Soul-care makes big problems seem small. Soul-care is love, and ultimately love greater than self.

I honestly am not sure where these ideas are going. All I know is it makes the self-absorbed buzz idea of self-care have a better, more powerful purpose and meaning. It connects with me. It fuels me to want to be more. And with a healthy soul, I can be the better mom, wife, leader, coach than I could by simply taking care of my body, mind, or heart.

In 2021, I am going to be brave enough to find my SOUL-CARE, and I will share things that I am finding that help me feel connected to and feed my soul in ways that help make my heart, mind, and body that much stronger. Stay tuned for more.