• Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    That Used to Be Me: 3 Lifechanging Transformations

    “Have you ever looked at older photo of you and think to yourself, ‘I can’t believe that used to be me!'”

    This was the opening sentence of my reading this morning. I sometimes think between Facebook memories and time hop photos that daily remind us of our past, we are constantly confronted with who we used to be. Luckily, I find comfort in these memories, and I am proud of my past. But I also know I have grown and changed in ways that have made me better than what those pictures have captured.



    If I had to narrow it down, I would have to say in the last 10 years I have had 3 major transformations.

    1.) Becoming a mother.


    On Friday the 13th of 2016, I entered the world of motherhood. Your world changes. You learn to problem-solve like never before. You learn to be prepared. You learn patience. You learn to manage your time differently. But for me, I learned to be more selfless. Prior to motherhood, I could pretty much do whatever I wanted. I had freedom. I didn’t have to worry about certain consequences for my actions. I could just be. But children change your perspective. You put their needs before your own. You don’t have the same freedoms or personal space. The transformation is truly beautiful and hard and easy and perfect and amazing all at the same time.

    2.) Learning to say “No.”
    This one came gradually. And in fact, there are days that I am still working on it. But with time, I learned that I can’t do it all. Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can do for your life is to just say, “No.” I have learned that the temporary pain of saying no leads to new perspectives, habits, long-term gains, and ultimately transformations. For example, learning to say no to late-night snacking, lead to better more conscious eating habits, which ultimately leads to weight loss and better body image. Another example is learning to say “no” to using my credit card. This lead to less frivolous spending, less debt, more money awareness, extra money in the emergency fund, and better spending habits.

    3.) Taking my “wealth” seriously
    Certain things bring “quality” to our lives. For me, it’s family, health, and wealth. Working toward financial stability relieved so much stress in my life. I wasn’t up all night worrying about the bills that needed to be paid. I didn’t panic money became tight due to job issues for both Matthew and I. Not having to worry about money freed up space to give to my family and take my health seriously. I truly believe that when you transform your relationship with money, you can transform other important areas in your life.



    So yes, I look at those old photos. I appreciate who I was then and the lessons and transformations I have had since then. Not every path is led for us like the Yellow Brick Road. Sometimes we have to find out way, make tough decisions, learn to be selfless and fail. It all happens, but that is how we transform. I can’t wait to see what the next opportunity to transform brings.

  • Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    Encouraging One Another To Grow

    It’s Ash Wednesday. The start of lent. Each year people look to fast, pray, and give during these 40 days. While some give up alcohol, sugar, soda, fast food, and clutter (please continue the list), I take this time to work on my spiritual life, to prepare my heart.

    This year I am doing an email series by Matthew Kelly entitled The Best Lent Ever. Each day there is a short emailed video for reflection and typically an action item to spread the “Holy Moment.” Today’s action is to encourage someone.

    Immediately, I was like this is an easy one. Being a mom and a fitness coach, I encourage people every day. I encourage my kids to write their letters, read their books, make their beds, and practice karate. I encourage our members to try new moves, to level up their skills, to continue until the bell rings, or to try better food choices. In those areas of life, I have become a MASTER ENCOURAGER. I never considered a moment of encouragement to be a “holy moment” for others. But for someone who rarely receives encouragement, it probably is a moment that is very special. A moment where they are recognized, noticed, pushed to grow, and celebrated.

    Immediately, I thought about the last time I was encouraged. How did I accept it?

    I think I am a person who is better at encouraging others than accepting encouragement myself. As a leader, I think I have created this personality that is the one to lift others instead of ever needing to lift myself. I am a know-it-all. I expect myself to succeed. I will discover answers to be prepared. I love to prove doubters wrong, no encouragement is needed.

    How sad and lonely does that sound?

    Maybe I need to soften my shell (pun intended) a little and allow the encouragement in? Maybe this is an area in which I can grow? To find others who encourage, not compete with me. To allow others to empower me, to believe in me, to encourage more out of me to break those limits.

    I do think that when we are bold enough to encourage one another and are honest with one another about where we would like to see improvement in our lives (whether work, home, school, etc), the right mentors and guides will come into our lives. I believe we need to seek out mentors who will encourage us and help us learn new skills, and we are more likely to succeed. We are not in this world alone. We all need encouragement. We all face challenges. And we all could use that moment of someone noticing that we are trying and offering their knowledge, recognition, and advice to keep going.

    I am not trying to press religion here, but I do think that today’s Lenten message has good humanitarian reasoning. So I challenge you… How can you either encourage someone or accept encouragement today?

  • Empowerment,  Habits,  Purposeful Living

    Lesson Learned: Forgive to Expand

    “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17

    I check my Instagram messages and type, “Still good for 9:30.” Quickly I get a reply, “Yes, see you there.” I take a big breath. I am nervous. But, Lily and I are committed to meeting an old acquaintance for coffee. This person and I have not spoken in years and our friendship ended abruptly. I didn’t agree with her actions. I felt hurt and betrayed by her. I held a grudge. And I couldn’t forgive her.

    I requested that we grab a coffee. These last few months I have been thinking about her and our relationship. How we actually challenged one another and learned from one another… sharpened one another. We pushed one another’s creativity, competitiveness, leadership, and growth. I learned how to deal with conflict differently because of our experience. She actually sharpened me.

    When Lily and I walked into the coffee shop, she was already there. We walked up to her table and sat. Immediately, I remembered my word of the year “expand” and recognized that in order to expand this year, I needed to forgive. I needed to release my grudge.

    Was it hard? Yes. Was it super uncomfortable? Yes. Did I like feeling humbled? No.

    But when we walked out of the coffee shop nearly 2 hours later, I felt a release of something I have been holding onto with negative intention. It was calming and peaceful. It felt good. It was powerful. It was expanding who I am.

    Lesson learned: Forgiveness isn’t forgetting… it is giving yourself a chance to expand and grow.


  • Empowerment,  Habits,  Purposeful Living

    Wednesday Wisdom: Why Taking Physical Action Benefits So Much More

    I had a client yesterday say that she was ready to make a change physically. However, our discussion took a much different turn. We ended up talking more about emotional and mental health. It’s true when you find physical success, your mental and emotional health grows as a result of that success.

    Those things that tend to scare us a little; for example, learning something new, making a commitment, or changing the direction of schooling, a business, or a career, test who we are at the foundation of our beings. Typically, being “new” or making a change is uncomfortable. It is out of that comfort zone. We are unsure of who or what we are in that new space. In order to make those changes, it takes risks. And risks are more terrifying than those monsters hiding under the bed when we were kids. SImply put, we don’t want to fail.

    When we decide to commit to making that change, that is where we grow. We grow phyically, mentally, and emotionally. Where more people make the mistake is that the commitment to change doesn’t need to be huge. Physically, you don’t need to go to the extreme. In fact, I never recommend that. Why? I think extreme change is hard and unsustainable. You are setting yourself up for failure. But let’s say physically, you start by setting your alarm for 5 minutes earlier in the morning for 1 week. With that 5 minutes, you incorporate some morning stretches. Physically, your body will improve its flexibility, which as we age is super important. And after 1 week, you feel proud of yourself for sticking with your commitment. Mentally, you are also building strength and growth. Stretching tends to help clear the mind. By following through on the 5 minutes a day, you are building confidence and self- credibility. With that confidence, you are emotionally more stable.

    This small improvement to your physical health will give you the power to try (or take a slightly bigger risk) another physical task. Maybe signing up for a yoga class once a week to not only improve that flexibility but balance as well. Or maybe making the physical commitment to after 5 minutes of stretching in the morning, drinking a glass of water (so many physical health benefits there).

    The point is not necessarily about exercise. When we physically do something, take physical action toward something, we grow. And that action, that physical growth, also builds your mental and emotional growth as well. It could be finally making that dentist appointment you have been neglecting for 5 years (action in the process is growth). It could be making the decision to physically wire money into your investment portfolio each week. It doesn’t matter. What matters is the action leads to growth. Learning leads to growth. Being uncomfortable leads to growth.

    What physical actions are you doing this week that will help you grow? Let’s share in the comments. And if you like this and other posts, please subscribe.

  • Empowerment

    Why Your Days Need More Suspense

    I have been thinking a lot about how and why suspense is built into our lives. Every good story has an element of suspense. But many of us avoid this important part in our lives. We all want more out of life, but are not willing to embrace the suspense that makes our story memorable. How do we add it to make our story one worth living?

    According to Webster’s Dictionary, “suspense” is the state of excited or anxious uncertainty about what may happen. Think about things that leave you in suspense. Maybe a scene in a movie. The music, the camera angles, the plot twists. Maybe it’s a chapter of a book and you just have to read the next chapter to discover what happens next. Maybe it is a football game with playoff potential. One event I found suspensful all week long was Demar Hamlin. After his heart attack during Monday Night Football, I wanted to know he was going to be okay. That state of unknowing left me anxious, nervous, checking my phone for updates. During certain TV shows that end with a cliffhanger I find myself lookng online for any spoilers. I want to be the first to know what happens next. The suspense of not knowing, again, gets the best of me. I need to know.

    Those things have filled the void of suspense in my life. I get the fix second-hand. I don’t seek out things that cause suspense that affect my day to day living, When it comes to things that affect me, I often associate suspense with fear and anxiety. My stomach gets nervous. I normally like to control expectations. I don’t like not knowing. I became scared of failure and not being good enough, When I was younger, I thrived on suspense. I loved when I would get excited before a big game or performance. My adreneline would spike. I would get into a zone that I don’t remember parts of games or performance. Now, as I have aged, I find those thrilling moments are not so exciting any more. Even if I practice, the suspense of trying something in my life is hard. I am uncomfortable. If I don’t have control, if I can’t predict what will happen, I struggle.

    So here are my starting thoughts on that feeling of suspense to calm those nerves. I recite like a mantra. “Please give me the courage to expand when I feel restricted, pivot when needed, and leap in order to fly.” and these are the moments of suspense are the exact moments that make my story happen.

    This week, I have a lot coming when it comes to adding suspense in your life, to help with feeling overwhelmed, nervous, and anxious. Hopefully it will fill you with excitement and give you empowerment to take on the unknown of the future. If you want to know more about how to build suspence in your life, subscribe and continue to check back all week!

  • Communication,  Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    Ah-ha!!! I had an Epiphany!

    On the Christian calendar, January 6th is Epiphany Day. Others sometimes refer to this day as the 12th Day of Christmas. On the Epiphany, Christ is manifested by the Gentiles, who were represented by the Magi. They came bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. I once did I Bible Study where the lecturer discussed how these gifts helped provide the means and income for Jesus’s family to escape to Egypt and survive there during his infancy and escape Herod the Great’s plan to kill all young boys (2 and under) in the Bethleham vicinity. This lecture was a sort of epiphany for me and my understanding of how God provides.

    A nativity scene in lights! At Michigan International Speedway!

    This leads me to the second definition of “epiphany.” According to Webster’s Dictionary, an epiphany is an intimate grasp of reality through something (such as an event) usually simple and striking; an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure. Some of us call this the “ah-ha” moment. Cartoons capture this moment by a light bulb going on above a character’s head.

    When was the last time you had an “ah-ha” moment? Sometimes when I have these moments I feel young again. They inspire me to want to learn, discover new things, and seek knowledge. Ah-ha moments are motivational. There is growth. There is excitement. There are questions on how to apply this new knowledge.

    I am not saying that you can have “ah-ha” moments every day of your life… But what if you strived for a deeper understanding of something once a month? In order to do so, you must learn something new, find new experiences, get out of your comfort zone, and try. An epiphany will probably alter you in some way, whether it is how you approach a certain situation, where you place your time and treasure, or deeply spiritual. Not all ephipanies need to rattle your core, but they should make you deepen your understanding enough that you remember those moments.

    I had already mentioned the epiphany I had during Bible Study. I also follow several professional development coaches. A few years ago I was on a coaching call with Michael Bernoff. He is big on helping people have “ah-ha” moments. One of the biggest “ah-ha” moments I have taken away from him was this: when you say you are going to do something, then don’t do it… you are destroying your own personal self-credibility, which will also destroy your confidence and ultimately the best version of yourself. For example, you tell yourself (no one even needs to know), that you are going to get up at 5:30 and go to the gym. But when the alarm goes off you hit snooze until 7 am. By not getting to the gym like you intended, you are telling yourself that you are not credible. You do not follow through on what you say. Not having self-credibility can affect so many things in life- business, relationships, who you say you are, and more. This was an epiphany to me, and to tell the truth, one of the driving forces on why I get out of bed so early every day. If I have even the intention to do it- workouts, blog, clean the house, reach out to a member, etc… I want to make sure I get it done. I want to build my self credibility. I want to be the person that I say I am to others. And it all starts with following through with my intentions. It’s not crazy. But it was life-altering. When the alarm goes off, guess what I do? I get out of bed. Why? Because my self-credibility is on the line.

    On this day of the Epiphany… I want to hear some of your “ah-ha” moments. Your epiphanies. Comment below. And feel free to subscribe and follow! 🙂

  • Habits,  Purposeful Living

    Finding a Moment of Stillness

    “Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalm 42:10

    Stillness… I think we all need it. A moment to breathe, clear our thoughts, and just be… Taking a moment to not play any role. A moment to release all expectations. A moment to find peace. A moment to hand over any problems. Even if it is just for 2 seconds… be still…

    I am a sunrise girl. I love waking up while it is still dark. I love the quiet of the early morning before the kids start playing, the TV gets turned on, and the traffic on the road picks up. It is my time to think, plan, pray, and prepare for the day. Then something magical starts to happen. The sky becomes a little brighter. The sun begins to rise, sometimes a glowing orange ball and sometimes a hazy light in a gray sky.

    No matter the day, I glance out my kitchen slider to see how the sun is rising, symbolizing a new day of fresh possibilities. I pause. Stillness. This moment is mine. Be still, and know.

    I breathe. Sometimes I take a sip of coffee and am thankful for another day, another sunrise, and another opportunity to do my best. I find calmness deep in my soul. Sometimes I just look out in awe of what is capable.

    Sometimes, if the time is just right, I sneak outside and take a picture or two and post the sunrise on social media. This moment that I hit the pause button has been picked up by my kids. Not too many days ago, Lily looks at the sky one morning and said, “Mom, look there is a pink rainbow in the sky.” I also learned this morning that my sneaking out to take a picture was also captured by my two little ones because Jack then promptly says, “Can we go take a picture with our tablets?” So much for being discreet.

    This is that morning in mid-October when the kids insisted
    on taking a picture. It was special….

    But it is in those moments (not minutes, not hours, not days), that I find peace. Where the chaos of the day doesn’t exist. A sunrise really is but a powerful moment. Each is a little different, and never at the exact same time. Always changing.

    Do you have a moment in the day that you pause for stillness?

  • Uncategorized

    The Hosting Site Auto-renewed. Now what? A Glimpse of 2022

    This morning the website hosting platform I use for the backend of this site auto-renewed. It was unexpected.

    Honestly, I have not done anything with my blog in over a year, 15 months to be more exact. I forgot that the hosting platform was due to renew. When it did, I figured it was a sign that I needed to make a decision. Either I was going to have to go figure out how to cancel my renewal (which auto-paid-in-full for the next 3 years) or I would chalk it up to divine intervention and get back to some of my original ideas that I had when I began this page.

    Sometimes the world works in mysterious ways. Recently, as I was cleaning out some old journals/ planners from 2019, the same year I launched this site. I stumbled across my original intentions for the purposelyempowered blog and my plans for how I wanted to help people. Reading those journals, I was more ambitious. I was more confident. I was determined. I had dreams. I had goals. I wasn’t so jaded.

    But, I also never completely followed through with that plan. In fact, to be completely transparent, for the last three years, I have been on a damn hamster wheel having the same conversations and rarely acting on any of my dreams or desires.

    Maybe that is why I quit writing. Maybe the last three years have taken my voice and all the risk out of me and replaced it with a ton of anxiety and angst. Instead of building those dreams, I feel like at times I have hibernated or backed down from my true potential. I have become scared of what people think or how they would react to my ideas, even the people I love and trust. I found myself rolling my eyes at personal development coaches and others who were motivating people to play bigger. I didn’t see the point of playing bigger. I was stuck. I lost that spark.

    2022 reflected that “stuckness.” I have gone off the radar. I haven’t felt necessarily empowered. I haven’t felt inspired. It is hard to write and do things to inspire, motivate, and empower others when you don’t feel it yourself. At times I felt like I was going through the motions and at other times I felt like I had so many plates spinning that I couldn’t control them. This year was exhausting and draining… not inspiring… not empowering…

    Yes, there were still plenty of good moments. The kids are growing so fast, and it is amazing to watch them flourish. I am thankful for so many blessings I have around me. I look for them all the time and smile. Those habits I have built (finding gratitude, looking for the daily miracle, etc) haven’t changed. Matthew reminds me daily that I am loved and special. We have traveled, even staying in a hotel for the first time with the kids. We have visited friends. I started taking Krav Maga, and have made it to my blue belt. I find a lot of strength in learning how to defend myself.

    The studio changed locations, which is a blessing and a much better space to bring growth. It is also closer to home. But, more than anything, I miss my daily conversations with my mom. I haven’t been able to carve out time in my schedule now that I am not driving in the car for 20 minutes spans. Chatting with her was a chance to clear my mind, straighten out my thoughts, bitch and complain without any judgment or repercussions, and realign my ideas.

    I wish I could say I quit writing because I have been so busy doing all these amazing things. But, I haven’t. I have been surviving. Life has its seasons. We all need to go through the uncomfortable and take a risk in order to better ourselves for those around us. The autorenewal was my reminder to get back to me and take that risk. So here I am… literally autorenewing a side of me that I have let surrender to circumstance.



  • Empowerment,  Productivity

    Soul Care- A Fresh Beginning

    I believe it is never too early for a fresh start. Monday’s are powerful days for me because they represent a new week, a new chance to grow. The first of the month is again an empowering day for me because it too is a fresh start. Same with my birthday, which also happens to be New Year’s Day. It is a fresh start, a clean slate to a brand new year. We have 365 days to turn our lives around into what we dream them to be.

    I love when new potential members come into the studio for the first time. Most of them are looking for a fresh start, a chance to begin anew. When I break down some walls and get them really talking about their dreams and goals, I sense a passion about what they want and help them believe that they can do it.  When they leave, their soul is on fire. There is a renewed energy to them. I also feel more alive, listening, watching, anticipating the growth this person is about to make my my team and I’s help.

    Then through the course of the next few weeks, my job is to keep that energy alive. To be honest it is not the easy job. Each person needs different fuel to continue on their new fitness journey, without that fuel, many times old habits re-emerge tempting them to go back to the life they are trying to leave behind. 

    I have often found that it is easiest to renew my energy or someone else’s by renewing hope and by asking questions. It is through questions that we can learn what is working, what is not working, and then better understand how to improve it. Questions are powerful, amazing tools to help create your dreams into a reality. (Seriously, simple ask yourself a question like “what in my life is working right now?” And I am sure your will find answers. From there as “Why is it working?” And again more answers will be found. Then ask, “How did I get that to work?” more answers. Finally ask, “how can I apply what is working and how I got it to work to something that isn’t working in my life right now?” Again, more answers will be found.)

    The best part of a question is that if you don’t know the answers you can always learn and discover them. Sometimes this discovery is by examining your past behaviors and patterns and creating change. Sometimes this discovery is through reading and researching new more exciting ways to do something. And, yet, sometimes this discovery is through asking for help, though a majority of us have an extremely hard time doing so. 

    Why is asking for help so difficult? I believe it is because throughout our lives we were taught to achieve independence: to become independent thinkers, to rely on solely ourselves. What happens is that this way of thinking eventually becomes our identity. We ultimately associate our very essence as self-serving. We don’t need help. Therefore, asking for help becomes hard, uncomfortable. We fear others will see us as weak, dumb, incapable. 

    Truth be told,  as a coach, I am always willing to help people. Unfortunately, I am also not a mind reader. I cannot force my help on someone who is still looking at themselves as totally independent in their fresh beginning. I am on their team. It becomes a give and take relationship. With that, the super independent people have to be a little vulnerable, and willing to trust me and the process to communicate ways to make the changes last. Alas, change is very hard to do independently.

    Most people also know that change is hard without guidance. That is another reason why they walk through the door. They are looking for motivation, inspiration, accountability to keep them on the path they want to go down and not on the current path they are on. Many of these people have started a million times (think about how many at home workouts or new diets you began and quit within 2 weeks). Eventually their independent, old self always won. It creates a feeling of self-defeat and that the self-sabotaging believe that you can’t do it.

    The people who ultimately do make the lasting change learn one priceless habit, the habit of asking for help. That habit is one where you break down the identity wall, and continue to get coaching, guidance, accountability, and strength to create your dreams into reality and make your goals a working part of your life.  Asking for help is one way to feed your soul, and to really get a fresh start.

  • Communication,  Empowerment,  Purposeful Living

    3 Ways To Achieve Soul Care

    As I continue to really develop the ideas of Soul Care, I think about how you can take care of the essence of who you are… your soul. Taking care of the outer self is easy. The soul is much much much harder. This week I have spent hours talking to members at the studio who have completed the first week of a 28 day fitness challenge, and I realized something. Talking to members and coaching is something that brings me incredible amounts of joy. I love to hear how people are finding success. I love to help people problem solve or give tips to help push past barriers and learn how to make their goals obtainable. As I am doing something that I am really passionate about, I feel refreshed. My soul feels complete. It is being taken care of. As I coach, I have come up with 3 interesting ways to make your soul feel fulfilled.

    1.) Finding small wins, even through tough challenges, builds success.
    We rarely set our soul up for success. However, life is full of adversity, challenges, and failure. In the midst of struggle, we need to find something that is a positive. Our soul’s crave success and positive reinforcement. However, when we lose sight of the good, our soul feels lost, scared, unfulfilled, bitter, depressed. In order to take care of your soul, you must train your brain to find the good, no matter how small it is. Over time, one small good morsel will duplicate. Think about this as a staircase. With each small positive win, you take another step up higher and higher… and before you know it, you are building momentum toward your success. And as you success, your soul builds confidence.

    2.) Perfectionism will kill your soul.
    If you want to be burn out and slowly kill your soul, feed your need to always be perfect. Many of us are asked to always perform at a certain level at work and at home, and perfectionism becomes a weird disease. Eventually, trying to keep the world perfect will drain your soul. Perfectionism is driven by our need for acceptance and validation. It is also driven by fear. When you live in fear, the soul becomes drained, tired, burned out, and neglected. You never feel good enough, smart enough, strong enough. Ditch perfectionism and give you soul some well needed love.

    3.) Get off your Hamster Wheel
    Repeating the same actions day in and day out leads to boredom, which will extinguish the light out of your soul. One of Tony Robbins lessons discusses the 6 Human Needs (structure, variety, community, individuality, growth, and contribution). Structure and routine is good for the soul, but when you are really caring for it, we also need variety. When was the last time you tried something new? Something that made you a little excited or even a little nervous? So much of our time is spent doing the same thing day in and day out. It is hard to get excited. Every so often jump off the hamster wheel. Test some of your limits. Live… and see how your soul responds.

    Like I said, I am just starting to develop these ideas. But, perhaps they can give some guidance to how to feel more fulfilled. Soul Care… it’s the care that will lead down the brick road to happiness.

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