Last week I mentioned how adversity just sometimes happens. But sometimes, I hate to say it, we create our own adversity. I have an ego that is like “Superwoman:” I can DO IT ALL, and THEN SOME!!!! I like to feel like Mighty Mouse walking around boldly singing, “Here I come to save the day.” … And then I try, which means I take on too much, my day becomes jammed full, and before I even recognize it, I am problem solving a problem that I created.

Normally, feeling like you are saving the day allows adrenaline to kick in, giving me energy. I begin to say things like, “I am helping,” “Look at all the stuff that got checked of my to-do list.” “I am so productive.” I finish the day tired, but satisfied that it all got done. I feel victorious and accomplished. These feelings tell me I did good, which outweighs the fact that I have been running around like a mad-woman all day and am totally exhausted.

The feeling of victory releases good hormones in my brain–Dopamine and serotonin. These are the same addicting hormones that happen when you do drugs. My drug addiction becomes “saving the day.” The thing is, after a few days, weeks, or months… I become physically, emotionally, and mentally stressed out and tired. I just want someone to step in and help… but (here’s a big secret) I am bad at/ or don’t like to ask people for help. Therefore, I feel alone and stuck. This feeling again is a form of adversity, though 100% self induced.

For the last year I have been very conscious of this problem. I have purposely said “no” to taking on some projects because I don’t want the added stress on my plate. I have began to analyze the problems in front of me differently. I have created awareness that I can’t do it all, but I can do something.

I have learned that “doing something” sometimes means asking for help from others. Or, that “doing something” means that I can teach others how to do it. Or, that “doing something” means that a project can take longer than 24 hours to complete and it’s okay to split it up over the course of time. I have learned that “doing something” can have a one hour time limit, and it’s okay to turn it off when the time limit is up.

I used to say that one of my greatest strengths was that I could get so many things done. What I now realize is that one of my greatest strengths also has the potential to be my greatest weakness. Saving the day has it’s perks… but even super heros need breaks.

Tell me if something like this has happened to you…. Because it happens to me ALL THE TIME!

You decide that you are going to do something, for example, save some money to pay for a vacation or pay off a credit card… then something happens to stop you, like an unexpected car expense. All of a sudden you feel like you are always stuck behind the eight ball, and the world won’t let you get ahead to reach your goals, or let you have a vacation.

Have you felt like that? We all have.

It is called ADVERSITY. And just like when Forrest Gump stepped in sh!t during his cross country run and the line “sh!t happens” became a tag line on a bumper sticker, adversity happens too. Heck, that’s the real name to the “sh!t.” And yes, it sucks, it smells, and it is an awful deterrent to any goal.

But, you have two choices. You can dwell on it and complain… or you could be like Forrest Gump, say “it happens,” then take another step and keep moving.

Adversity is an interesting beast. It happens in every aspect of life. Why? Because a majority of the 20th century, we have become obsessed with making our world about ease and convenience– about coming up with a way of battling adversity. When time was a problem, we developed cars to make travel time quicker, creating more time. When passing messages took too long, we developed phones to communicate quicker. As a society we are always looking for ways to destroy adversity.

Now while this has allowed our society to grow in exponential ways (I really don’t want to go back to times of pre-cars) I also believe that this has created a society that allows adversity to win many battles because so much is done for us so quickly, and thus has allowed us to lose both self-confidence and problem solving abilities. We simply don’t know how to say “it happens” and move on… instead we dwell on it, and let it stress us out and create anxiety.

But what if, for a brief moment prior to a major melt-down, you take a deep breath, say “it happens,” and focus on the next step. How would your life be different? Would you have less stress? Would you come up with a different solution instead of getting stuck up on that moment like a skipping CD (oh wait, CDs and records don’t have that problem anymore thanks to digital music… tehehe, just another example how we have eliminated adversity).

This blog is just written to get you thinking about the adversity in your life. No, I don’t like to use extra cash to pay for an unexpected expense, but “it happens.” The crazy thing is, that somehow someway, we learn to take care of it. But the real power comes from despite the adversity, we still keep our eye on what we want to achieve, regardless of the sh!t we have to step in to get there. When something matters to us, we make “it happen” too. And the stuff we have to overcome to get there builds our confidence, our character, and our determination to beat any adversity that may try to knock us down in the future. Therefore, learn to use adversity to your advantage. Change your relationship with the “sh!t that happens,” and learn from Forrest Gump to simply take the next step. Life will be less stressful that way.

I have been in a Toastmaster’s group for over a year now. Each week we have an extemporaneous section of our meeting, where one person calls on different members to answer questions. This week was around the theme of habits and morning routines.

I understand that some people are not morning people. It is difficult to get people up and going. One member reminded me that she actually has her most energy in the middle of the day, and that is where she finds her most productive time. Other’s do more in their first three hours. While other’s just wish.

I know I have mentioned what I do in the morning, but what is it that makes it stick? Why can I actually create these habits. There is one trick that allows me to actually break the old habit and follow through with what I am trying to do, no matter the time of the day. Mornings just work well for me… What is the trick?

When I get go to bed, I know what is something that I want to accomplish. For example, it if I want my habit to be to get out of bed and read in the morning… it is easy to hit the snooze and just fall back asleep. Most people do it.

But, here is what happens in my mind next. I tell myself, I wanted to get up and I have the INTEGRITY and SELF CREDIBILITY to get out of bed like I intended. Someone with integrity and self credibility will do what they wished, someone without it doesn’t. And quite honestly, I don’t want to be someone without integrity and self credibility. Therefore, I push past that little voice that says to “hit the snooze,” or “not read the book.”

Pretty soon I was getting out of bed when I intended, without thinking about it. Yes, that habit was created. Over time, I could add in more to the morning routine. I would remind myself that I had the integrity and self credibility to get in done. Guess what pretty soon I was getting up and making my bed. Then with the same strategy I was drinking more water, reading, and moving. It all didn’t happen at once. And even today, when I want to add something in, I go back to the idea that I have the INTEGRITY AND SELF CREDIBILITY to create the habit that I want.

Next time you find yourself hitting the snooze button or derailing from the habit that you want to create, take a moment and remind yourself that you have self credibility and integrity to do what you intend to do. Then just go! You got this.