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Purposeful Living

Happy New Year and Happy Birthday(s)

January 2, 2023

Day 1 of 365. It also happens to be my birthday. Like New Year’s Day of 2023, I too was born on a Sunday. So when New Year’s falls on a Sunday, it feels like the stars align a little extra straight for me.

Aside from a fresh start, New Year’s is a special time for my family. My husband’s birthday is New Year’s Eve. You can say that I am the Alpha to his Omega. Where one celebration ends, the other begins. We had met a few times before through mutual friends, but the night we actually had a real conversation (about the Pittsburgh Pirates, Heath Miller, Penn State football, and Yeungling beer) was at a New Year’s Eve party at my house. That night I was wearing a Happy Birthday crown, and he made sure that I knew not to claim my birthday until midnight. Before that, it was definitely his birthday.

The birthday celebrations don’t just stop on New Year’s Day. My mom’s birthday is January 2 and my sister-in-law’s birthday is January 3rd (which to add to the complexity and oddness of this event, her mother’s birthday is also January 2nd).

Growing up, every New Year’s Day was a big event at my house. My mom and dad would throw a party to watch the football bowl games, and celebrate both of our birthdays. I remember years when there were 30+ people at my parents’ house, and 4 TVs were connected in the living room so you didn’t miss a second of any game on TV. People were playing cards in the basement. The kitchen was set up buffet style with Kielbasa and saurkraut roasting all day long. At some point my grandfather Pops would sing at least one college fight song. And after each game, people would line up at the closet door because there hung the long sheet of paper that was our College Football Poll, and money was on the line. We all couldn’t wait to see who would win.

Some traditions never change. This year there may not have been 30 people at mom and dad’s house. But we still had the football poll going, and yelled at the TV when our teams won or lost. We still had saurkraut and Kielbasa. Kids still ran the house, and two even made it up to midnight. We still sang Happy Birthday- only now we have to do it 4 times instead of just 2.

And it is still one of my favorite times of the year. Ringing in a New Year, being with family, celebrating birth, staying up too late, and indulging a little much… That is New Year’s. And that is a great way to set the tone for the year- celebrating, family, love, and life.

And then to go to bed after a good day and realize that 2023 is full of possibilities. It’s day 1 of 365. It is unwritten…. Cheers to 2023, and Happy New Year!

From my family to your’s Happy 2023….

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Shelley
Empowerment, Habits, Productivity, Purposeful Living

23 in 2023 Bucket List

December 30, 2022

This week multiple people shared a similar idea with books to read next year, places to travel, etc.
I saw someone do a 23-in-23 list. I think this can bring it all together. Books, vacations, projects, habits, etc.
SO….
Why not make it a graphic and share it with everyone as a free download?

In order to make it work, think about 23 things your want to do in 2023. Matthew and I sat down last night and did it together. We brainstormed about things we could build, habits we wanted to put in place, and ways we can make our family stronger. We also talked about places to visit (even for a day trip that accepts crazy dogs). We just talked and connected for well over an hour about how we can make our lives better individually and together. It was great!

You can easily do this activity alone or with others. Then you can share it. Cross them off when they happen. Make some of your bucket list items a true reality.

Download, print, share, and enjoy! And if you really want to start a conversation, share some of your 23 in 2023 Bucket List ideas below. You never know who you may inspire.

Don’t forget if you like this be sure to subscribe to get all the latest coming your way.
If you need more ideas for how to set your goals for 2023, check out the blog https://purposelyempowered.com/word-of-the-year-for-2023/ which has a new twist on how to set up your year for success. 🙂

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Shelley

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Hasta La Vista, Christmas… In a Few Days!

December 28, 2022

Walking past a half-dead poinsettia, I picked it up, walked to the back sliding door, and tossed it on the deck. It’s December 26th, and Christmas in this house is officially OVER!

I enjoy a month of decor, color, and sparkling lights. But after a month, the rooms feel like they are collapsing in on me. I can’t breathe. Everything is so full, I can’t wait to purge. I can’t wait for rooms to feel big again. I can’t wait to find a spot to set my coffee cup on the end table without having to move something or pray a dang poinsettia leaf won’t fall into it.

So here I am, minutes after we unwrap each present, putting it all away. In the midst of packing up the totes of Nutcrackers (literally Matthew has collected hundreds over the years), I had an epiphany of sorts. Maybe we are all doing Christmas wrong. Maybe we start too early and are over it too soon.

Our society has lost the meaning of Christmas. Though we have songs about the “12 Days of Christmas” most people couldn’t tell you when the 12 days of Christmas begin or end. The first day of Christmas is Christmas Day. That’s right- the day we all celebrate. Day 12 is January 6th. The day the three wise men came to Jesus bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

Obviously, we have created a consumerist culture that celebrates the “preparation” for Christmas. Advent calendars, events, parties, shopping, wrapping, baking, visiting Santa… each year there seems like there is more to do to prepare for Christmas and spend money. And yes, I think it is important to prepare for Christmas. But for me, I do all this preparation so that the day after the event, I can’t wait another moment to put it all away. Hasta la vista, Christmas…

So while washing and packing all the Christmas dish towels and oven mitts, I continued to think about this epiphany. How can we celebrate these next 12 days? The preparation time is over. Now it is time to party. Am I partying or leaving the party early? It is a 12-day event… and I tapped out after 24 hours. How would life be different if I went into the New Year with a different attitude?

In the midst of purging, I hit pause on Operation Bye-Bye Christmas. I am going to leave the tree up. It isn’t the pretty tree that we put up the day after Thanksgiving. The needles are falling off. The ornaments that are sagging on the branches. But it is my reminder to still celebrate.

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Shelley

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Change Your Habits, Change Your World

May 10, 2021

I think a lot about people’s habits. I coach people to create new habits. I believe we, ultimately, are our habits.

Think about it. The habit of how you move and eat affects your body. The habit of how you think affects your actions. The habit of your daily actions affects how you are seen in the world.

If you want to make a change, you must change your daily habits.

There are many reasons why people decide they want to change their habits. For some, it is a health scare. For others, it is they are unhappy and making a change will bring more joy, energy, confidence, and happiness to their lives.

At the studio, I am part of these conversations daily. People come into the studio ready to take the first step and make a change. For some, the first step is easy. For others, just walking into the studio causes anxiety, nervousness, and fear. As a professional, I remind them that it is okay to be anxious. Doing something different and out of your current routine is where that magical change happens. I also let them know that I will help guide them down this path. For many, it is important to know that they are not alone.

Someone really dear to me recently changed many of her daily habits in 2021. She did it by taking on one habit at a time. She started by making the decision for herself, not for anyone else. She sought professional help and guidance. She committed. She came up with alternatives to keep her busy to break the habit. She developed a plan. I know these changes were not easy. But each day, I saw her become more confident in her decision and proud of herself.

Once one habit was broken, she took on a second one. Again, she committed. She had a timer go off to remind her to complete her new habit. She didn’t turn off the timer or neglect it, even when she was doing something else. She focused on her new habit. The best part is she got creative to make completing her new habit fun. When things are fun, we are more likely to do them. When we actually do them, we see the positive result we desire. For her, that result definitely includes more stamina, more energy, a healthier appearance, better skin tone, and honestly, more laughing, smiling, and connection.

To say I am proud to witness these changes in her habits is an understatement. I am elated. I am overjoyed. I am amazed. It has been one of the biggest transformations I have witnessed in my lifetime.

The best advice when taking on any habit changing transformation includes:
1.) Make the decision to change your habits for yourself
2.) Revolutionize one habit at a time
2.) Have a purpose for why you are making the change and remind yourself daily
3.) Take it one day (sometimes one hour) at a time. Big results will add up over time.
4.) Notice the positive changes the new habit has made in your life. Find the daily win.
5.) Stay consistent.

Remember habits ultimately determine who you are. To make a lifestyle change and change your world, you must start with small habits. And with one habit changed, it becomes easier to change more. You too can change your habits by adjusting what you do daily.

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Shelley

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Simple Is Not Always Easy

April 25, 2021

I believe it is human nature to look for simple and easy. But, unfortunately, simple and easy rarely go hand in hand.
For example, at the studio, we have a meal plan “so simple a kindergarten student could do it.” This is true, it is easy. But transforming your eating habits is a lot more difficult than following an easy meal plan. The idea is simple, yes… easy, not so much.

Personally, Lily is still in a crib. It is simple to quickly convert the crib to a toddler bed. However, training her to stay in bed and not get out in the middle of the night is not easy. Yes, again the principle is simple… yet, execution is not so easy.

You can even look at the simplicity of following the 10 Commandments. The idea of them is simple. Living according to the commandments… can be at times very difficult.

One of the big reasons why I believe simple and easy don’t often go hand in hand is because humans are creatures of habit, and building new habits is difficult. Often time we don’t know where to begin to make those changes. Therefore we look for the newest trend or fad. In the fitness world, this typically takes the form of the newest diet trend– KETO, South Beach, Whole 30, Adkins, Carb Cycling, etc. Each one of them promises to give someone a simple solution to their weight problem.

The thing is, people already know the basics of losing weight. The formula is simple. Eat healthy food and move your body. Obviously, however, the solution is not easy. That is why there is a billion-dollar industry filled with hundreds of “experts” claiming to offer the easy solution. Too many experts tend to cloud the “easy” part. We all have our opinions, knowledge, tools, and tricks to help get the end results. It leaves many people confused and jumping from one plan to the other. Ultimately, then what is simple becomes much more difficult and, for some, impossible.

So here is my proposal. In order to get the result (no matter the outlet), do these simple things.
1.) Make a commitment and understand that upholding your end of a commitment won’t always be easy. But the commitment will be worth it. Many people want to only make a commitment for a short period of time and expect a big result. We are talking about your life. Short-term commitments get short-term results. Quit fighting for the short-term and commit to long-lasting results.
2.) Understand the simplicity of consistency. Results are not magic and don’t happen overnight, but compound consistency each day, and amazing things happen.
3.) Hire a coach that has your best interests in mind and will work with you where you currently are in order to get you out of your current comfort zone. This coach will keep you accountable for making the new changes and consistent even when you want to quit and jump onto the next fad.
4.) Quit being addicted to comfort and allergic to sacrifice. That is right, change takes some sacrifice and trying things you have never done before. There will be times of surprise and moments of failure. But most importantly, you will learn and have new knowledge to help you make things easier in the future.

You want simple and easy… all humans do. But the two rarely go hand in hand. Therefore, take a deep breath and don’t be afraid of doing a little work and putting in a little sacrifice in order to make the change. It will be worth it in the end.

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Shelley

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How to Win A Challenge

February 25, 2021

At the studio, one way we market ourselves to the community is by running 4 or 6 week fitness challenges. Fitness challenges (as well as most fun challenges like writing, reading, etc) are exciting and fun. I love seeing all the new people come into the studio ready to take on the challenge, determined to lose some weight, tone up, build stamina and ultimately gain confidence. In the 28-42 days, people develop new habits, and learn many tips and tools to help them continue on their healthy lifestyle.

Recently we also completed a 21 day Instructor Challenge at the studio to record our results as we worked out, ate off the meal plan and added supplements to our routines.

Being in the challenge frame of mind, I have been paying attention to who ultimately wins the challenges and sees the most growth and success and who doesn’t. What I noticed is that it is quite easy to identify short term winners and long term winners. I call these two groups the “Escape Artists” and the “Those who Surrender.”

The Escape Artists: There are people who are counting down to the end of their challenge date so they can be done and proud they completed it. I call these people are looking for the moment of escape. A date when it is over. A date when they are free to do whatever they want to do again. Most of the time a date when they can pick up their old lifestyles and bad habits again.

Those who Surrender: The second type of people are those who surrender their old lifestyle in order to build a new one. They ask questions. They are coachable. They want to learn. They understand that at the end of the challenge they want to emerge like a butterfly, capable of maintaining or continuing their journey with the right community and friends cheering for them. They know that to sustain a healthy lifestyle that many people are looking for, the changes developed during a challenge are long term, not over because the date of the challenge has ended. Typically these people learn the most about themselves, their habits, and their choices over the course of the challenge, and develop the confidence to make healthier choices and habits for the rest of their lives.

Maybe you are not necessarily looking to take up a fitness challenge, but maybe it is something else that is challenging you? How are you approaching it? Are you an escape artist counting down the seconds until it is over or one who surrenders your ego, status, current habits to evolve into something better and use the challenge to help define the person you are becoming?

By surrendering, you will be more open to the situation. You will make decisions more clearly. You will learn to adapt and grow. You will find creative solutions to short-term problems. And most importantly, you will take the steps in the right direction to ultimately win the challenge. The choice is yours on how you approach different challenges in life, but as an end result, I always look ways that a challenge will improve my life forever, not just for those short few weeks.

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Shelley

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3 Ways To Achieve Soul Care

February 25, 2021

As I continue to really develop the ideas of Soul Care, I think about how you can take care of the essence of who you are… your soul. Taking care of the outer self is easy. The soul is much much much harder. This week I have spent hours talking to members at the studio who have completed the first week of a 28 day fitness challenge, and I realized something. Talking to members and coaching is something that brings me incredible amounts of joy. I love to hear how people are finding success. I love to help people problem solve or give tips to help push past barriers and learn how to make their goals obtainable. As I am doing something that I am really passionate about, I feel refreshed. My soul feels complete. It is being taken care of. As I coach, I have come up with 3 interesting ways to make your soul feel fulfilled.

1.) Finding small wins, even through tough challenges, builds success.
We rarely set our soul up for success. However, life is full of adversity, challenges, and failure. In the midst of struggle, we need to find something that is a positive. Our soul’s crave success and positive reinforcement. However, when we lose sight of the good, our soul feels lost, scared, unfulfilled, bitter, depressed. In order to take care of your soul, you must train your brain to find the good, no matter how small it is. Over time, one small good morsel will duplicate. Think about this as a staircase. With each small positive win, you take another step up higher and higher… and before you know it, you are building momentum toward your success. And as you success, your soul builds confidence.

2.) Perfectionism will kill your soul.
If you want to be burn out and slowly kill your soul, feed your need to always be perfect. Many of us are asked to always perform at a certain level at work and at home, and perfectionism becomes a weird disease. Eventually, trying to keep the world perfect will drain your soul. Perfectionism is driven by our need for acceptance and validation. It is also driven by fear. When you live in fear, the soul becomes drained, tired, burned out, and neglected. You never feel good enough, smart enough, strong enough. Ditch perfectionism and give you soul some well needed love.

3.) Get off your Hamster Wheel
Repeating the same actions day in and day out leads to boredom, which will extinguish the light out of your soul. One of Tony Robbins lessons discusses the 6 Human Needs (structure, variety, community, individuality, growth, and contribution). Structure and routine is good for the soul, but when you are really caring for it, we also need variety. When was the last time you tried something new? Something that made you a little excited or even a little nervous? So much of our time is spent doing the same thing day in and day out. It is hard to get excited. Every so often jump off the hamster wheel. Test some of your limits. Live… and see how your soul responds.

Like I said, I am just starting to develop these ideas. But, perhaps they can give some guidance to how to feel more fulfilled. Soul Care… it’s the care that will lead down the brick road to happiness.

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Shelley

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“Self-Care” Makes me Cringe

February 8, 2021

There, I finally said it out loud. The term “self care” makes me cringe. And everyone is saying it… “Focus on self-care.” “What are you doing to take care of yourself?” “Are you practicing self-care.” “Do something for yourself, you deserve self-care.” OMG… all this self care talk makes me want to scream. Every time I hear it, my ears have that finger nails on a chalk board sensation.

And I can hear your response… “Why?” “Wait Shelley, but Self-Care is so important to our well being.” “But self-care is a necessity.”

Hear me out…
When I consider my “self,” I typically see my “being” composed of mind, heart, body, and soul. And I think too many times people feed only certain aspects of self. I think it is easy to feed our body (get a workout, get your nails done). I think it is easy to take care of your mind (read a book). I think it is easy to feed your heart (grab coffee with a friend, spend time with your spouse). And to some extent, I think these things are important, but they don’t get to the root of your happiness.

But what about your soul? The very essence of who you are…

Unlike the body, mind, or heart… your soul is the last part of you to scream “FEED ME,” and by the time it does, it may be too late.

So here is my thought. Perhaps instead of focusing on self-care… what is we focused on SOUL-CARE.

In my professional life, I preach about taking care of your health to prevent diseases such as obesity, heart disease, diabetes and more… What if we preached taking care of our soul in order to help us better take care of our heart, body, and mind.

The issue is, people don’t discuss SOUL-CARE!
What is it? How do you do it?

With soul-care there is a deeper meaning than self care. There is a different purpose, a different why, a different focus. And to be told, I think soul care is bigger than self.

It is still hard for me to define this idea. It is still being formulated. But I think, perhaps, since it is bigger than self, it could even be giving up of self. It is finding the light and essence of who you are, and when you find it, nourish it, and allow it to grow, you find a different kind of happiness, peace, and self-love.

What I have found is that when I feed my soul it also makes my mind, body, and heart rejuvenated. I have a deeper desire to eat foods that I enjoy and give me energy. I want to move my body more powerfully to relieve stress and build strength. I am not going through the motions.

Where do I find SOUL-CARE?

Soul-care is laughter. Soul-care is gratitude. Soul-care is finding the light. Soul-care is training yourself to be positive. Soul-care may be crying. Soul-care can be spontaneous. Soul-care can be a habit. Soul-care is being present in the moment. Soul-care is done through the senses- seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching. Soul-care can be trying something new. Soul-care speaks to our desires and dreams. Soul-care gives us clarity and focus. Soul-care makes big problems seem small. Soul-care is love, and ultimately love greater than self.

I honestly am not sure where these ideas are going. All I know is it makes the self-absorbed buzz idea of self-care have a better, more powerful purpose and meaning. It connects with me. It fuels me to want to be more. And with a healthy soul, I can be the better mom, wife, leader, coach than I could by simply taking care of my body, mind, or heart.

In 2021, I am going to be brave enough to find my SOUL-CARE, and I will share things that I am finding that help me feel connected to and feed my soul in ways that help make my heart, mind, and body that much stronger. Stay tuned for more.

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Shelley

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4 Reasons Perseverance Fails

October 14, 2020

This week the theme of the studio is all about PERSEVERANCE, which we define as reaching the point of past failure and deciding to continue. I have really been thinking about this definition and how much perseverance is lacking. I came up with four, fairly simple reasons why.

1.) We are safe. For the most part we don’t have to really fight for anything. Athletes experience perseverance in order to win. Some business owners have to persevere in order to keep their businesses open. But the every day, middle class citizen is pretty safe- they have the necessities (food, shelter, clothing) and then some. There is no need to fight for food, water, life.

2.) Instant Gratification. Just like we are safe, we can get almost anything we want instantly (or within 2 days with Amazon Prime). Patience is dead, and with the perseverance is dying as well.

3.) Accountability. If you are the only person on Earth who knows if you persevered that day or gave up, it is really easy to give up. Once you are forced to be held accountable, you are more likely to persevere to achieve something. Without accountability the only person you are letting yourself down, which then can spiral into all other kinds of personal damage like lack of self-confidence or self-credibility– that that is a conversations for a different day.

4.) Failure is easier. And let’s be honest, as humans we naturally go toward what is easy EVERY. CHANCE. WE. GET.

I am sure many of you will agree that at least one of these four reasons to be true. How do you discover perseverance through this? It is all a shift in the story you tell yourself.

1.) Tell yourself failure is off the table. Failure is not an option. Come up with the next step. Then take it. NOW! And that is one way to persevere.

2.) Find a coach or accountability buddy that you don’t want to let down. During my athletic days, I never wanted to let down my teammates. I would show up to practice early, I would work on my “game” in order to uphold my end of the bargain to make my team better. Do you have someone like this? If not, start hanging around people who are dedicated to the same results you want to achieve, or hire a coach. The investment you put into learning the value of perseverance will far out pay the money spent.

3.) Find gratification in the small wins of a job well done. If you decided to push past a past failure and did one more, that is a win. Celebrate it. Give yourself a positive pep talk that you have gotten better. Pretty soon doing one more is easy, however, over time that one more adds up drastically and so will your perseverance muscle.

4.) Remember why you started! So many people have a reason why they started something. Then what ever their goal is becomes hard. It is easier to quit then continue. The pain of continuing is more immediate than the pain of not reaching their end goal. Therefore, once again quitting becomes easy. However, if you remember you why… your end goal, many times you will find the motivation to no give up, to not be a quitter, and to push past failure, and take that next step— to PERSEVERE!

These are just some of my thoughts. I would love to hear yours. Feel free to comment below. Let’s have a real conversation about this… and what you believe it means to really persevere and succeed.

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Shelley

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Let’s Not Forget About Labor Day: 4 Facts to Remember

September 7, 2020

I feel that Labor Day is one of those that we don’t truly get. We understand that Memorial Day honors fallen soldiers. We understand that President’s Day, which happens to be in February around George Washington and Abraham Lincoln’s birthdays, honors our Presidents. But Labor Day always seemed different, and more focuses on the end of summer than honoring the men, women and children that literally built our country during the Industrial Revolution. Here are 4 facts about Labor Day to think about…

1.) During the Industrial Revolution some laborers as young as 5 years old worked for 12 hours a day 7 days a week to barely make enough money to get by. Matthew is a carpenter and occasionally works a shutdown at a local refinery. This shutdown period can last 30-90 days, where he works 7 days a week, 12 hour days, most of the time on nights. I understand what 7/12s are like as a wife and mother at home. It is tiring, it seems endless. There is barely any time together as a family. I can only imagine what he goes through. How tired he is. How he goes to bed exhausted and wakes up only to repeat it again and again. But he does it to support our family. He does it so the refinery can run effectively and get oil to gas to our consumers. I can only imagine what this was like in the 1800’s, where safely and sanitary conditions were not what they were today. We are reaping the benefits of their experiences and efforts. That is why I honor Labor Day.

2.) Grover Cleveland signed Labor Day into a National Holiday on June 28. 1884. To this day, the true founder of Labor Day has yet to be identified. I think this is fitting. So many men helped build this country and revolutionized where we are today. To give credit to one man would seem selfish. I think it is fitting that Labor Day honors all of these people, who fought for safer work conditions, without one face representing this movement. If it weren’t the collective work and sacrifice, where would we be?

3.) Because of Labor Day, we have Monday Holidays. In 1968 congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which was inspired by the fact that Labor Day always fell on the first Monday of September; therefore, the act changed when we celebrate Memorial Day, Columbus Day, and President’s Day, and also gave federal employees a uniform holiday three day weekend.

4.) The first Labor Day parade occurred on September 5, 1882 when 10,000 workers took unpaid time off to march across New York City from City Hall to Union Square. Today thousands of cities across the country hold parades and other ways to celebrate Labor Day.

To this day, men and women continue to build, install, and work tireless hours to allow America to be America. Let’s honor all our workers today. Thank You for making America a special place to call home.

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Shelley