I did it! Nearly 63 hours with NO PHONE!!! No Texts! No Calls! No Social Media! No Immediate Updates!

It was so FREEING! Matthew and I were able to have fun with one another (even though he didn’t give up his phone, he seemed to be on it less because I was not on it). The kids didn’t play phone calls on their plastic phones as much.

Instead we went swimming, and there was no stress about leaving my phone outside in the heat or fear of it getting wet.

But, there was some real anxiety that I was noticing about my phone. In fact three things became very clear, and they are things that I am going to have to work on over the next few months.

1.) I have a fear of missing out. Yes, FOMO. I am scared that I will miss something happening if I don’t have my phone on. I will miss a news story. I will miss something that happened at the studio without seeing social media updates. I will miss out, and be out of the loop. But…

2.) I have a fear of missing opportunity at work. We have a new sales ad that launched last week. We had just started getting new leads. I had this fear that if I wasn’t on my game, working those opportunities with urgency, I was going to lose them. They were not going to trust us with their health and fitness, they would choose another gym and be let down by their goals, we would miss the chance to make more money, it would ultimately affect my families financial security… (yes, my head goes everywhere when it comes to helping people and taking care of my family). Though it is nice to have a good work ethic, this type of behavior often causes me to be in “work mode” 24/7. When I see a notification pop up about a lead, I normally stop whatever I am doing to try to work it. Speed and urgency have always been king. This weekend, it was out of sight, out of mind. It was nice. But…

3.) I have a fear of letting people down. Like the fear of missing out and missed opportunity, I also have a fear of letting people down. This means if people expect things from me or need questions answered and I am not available to help, I am letting them down. This also means that I have not set any boundaries for when is my time. Instead, my time belongs to everyone else, because I could let them down. But…

All those BUTs…. Yes, they accumulated and at midnight on Sunday I woke up in a total panic attack. My heart was racing. My breath was short. My mind was restless. I tried to lay there and fall back asleep. No luck. An hour later, I got out of bed, walked the house, did a 5 minute workout, wrote in my journal… no luck. My heart still raced, my mind still wondered, my breath still shallow. I tried to go back to bed. That didn’t help. Finally at 3:30 am, I moved to the couch. At this point, I was annoyed and tired. I buried my face in the pillow and surrendered to a sleepless night.

So what was the cause? Why was my heart racing? What was my mind restless about?

TURNING ON THE PHONE!

Yes! I was having a panic attack because I had to face my fears of what I had missed out on, what kind of opportunities I missed, and who I let down because I wasn’t glued to my phone for 63 hours. Because I put down the powerful cell phone and focused my powers on being a connected wife and mother. Because I enjoyed the hot summer days and the 4th of July with the people I love.

Is it just me or this shouldn’t cause panic and anxiety. Where did I go wrong that this has happened? And most importantly, what can I do to find the balance. Truth be told, I don’t know. I am not sure if there is a real solution other than learning to not let myself down. Because I do let myself down when I am in fear of always being available to not let others down. I do let myself down when I miss the opportunities to have fun with the kids. I do let myself down when I miss out on the moments in front of me because I am always looking for what I am missing out on social media.

Just like everything in life, balance is hard. Creating new habits is hard. We will resort to what we have always done because it is easy. This is a little harder because it is not just my boundaries that are being affected but people who rely on me for information, and in a world where we can access anything instantly, if I don’t respond, I fear I am not looked upon as reliable, which may ruin my reputation, and my reputation is so important to me.

The solution has to be easy. Maybe as simple as a Facebook post every Sunday that I am spending the day taking care of my family and will return on Monday morning, allowing people to know that my life and time is valuable to me too.

Other solutions are welcomed too… Would love to have some real problem solving, brain storming sessions around this topic and how to maximize and prioritize our time without feeling guilty. Then some accountability to actually follow through on giving myself my time and energy back without dedicating it all to the ALMIGHTY PHONE!

Anyone else want to join me?

This weekend I am taking a phone detox. I am turning off social media. I am turning off the constant stream of live updates. And I am updating myself.

Each year around this time, I try to put away the need for connection that my phone provides and try to connect with what really matters most- my kids, my husband, and our lives that we are building.

2020 has created some anxiety. My social media feeds and other media outlets unfortunately contribute to the anxiety. The constant debating and yelling has me tired. There are other ways to solve problems than yelling over one another or blasting someone on social media. My brain and heart desire calm, peace, and resolution.

It is the 4th of July weekend. A time where we celebrate and honor America. I understand that there is a desire for change. But truth be told, I am not sure where my voice and thoughts fit in with all of it. I need to turn it off. I need time to figure out my thoughts, ones that are not influenced over all the debates, and yelling, and hatred. I need time to look at the sweet faces of Lily and Jack playing in the backyard, and find comfort in the type of America that we are able to provide for them and figure out how this kind of life can be made for everyone who is willing to “fight” for it.

I use that word “fight” figuratively. I “fight” every day for things that I want and believe in. I “fight” for my health. I “fight” for my families financial stability. I “fight” for my own type of peace (for me I find that in the serenity my back yard, away from the noise). I “fight” for positivity and gratefulness. I “fight” for the life I have created. It hasn’t been given to me. I have had to work hard. And the crazy thing that the American Dream provides is that that “fight” continues to grow, because my dreams continue to grow. And I will continue to “fight” for the life that I choose. I will problem solve how to obtain my dream, making it a reality. The ability to dream and create your dreams is a beautiful, beautiful thing for me.

But the first step in this right now is to turn off my phone. It is to let my mind figure out what my “dream” is and not to be influenced by everyone and everything out there. It is my way to connect with my immediate family. It is my way to not be distracted by things that I can’t control right now. It is my chance to wipe my slate clean and give myself a new, unfiltered perspective, and perhaps return to the “connection” that the phone provides with a rejuvenated outlook and potential solutions to help others find their dreams and happiness.

So, if you want a reset as well, feel free to do the same. In order to make this work, I need to turn it off and put it in a drawer. However, other people can’t forget about it. Therefore, I also suggest taking off all apps (like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, News stations) off the homescreen of the phone. I am turning it off at 3:00 PM today (Friday, July 3), and I am not turning it on until Monday morning.

Happy 4th of July. Happy weekend to reset and realign your focus. I will publish another blog early next week with how it went and insights I have gained though the clarity and new focus. Stay tuned.

Jack, my 4 year old, struggles with eating. He wants all the chocolate, all the sugar, all the juice… But, during dinner time it takes him FOR-E-VER to eat the healthy, good stuff. We have tried bribing. We have tried making him sit there. We have even told him that his little sister will grow bigger than him. And if he wants to be big like ________ insert athlete, super hero of the week_____ he will have to eat his GROW food.

GROW food stuck with him. But, there are certain criteria that fit for G.R.O.W. food.

Grow Food has to be GOOD. We are talking food that is Good for you. It should be either a protein, healthy fat, carb, or veggie.

Grow Food has to be REAL. So much of our food is over processed. When you go shopping at the grocery store, think of all food around the boarder of the store– Fresh Produce, Meats, Dairy— and not the stuff down the aisles. The Fresh Produce, Meats, and Dairies are unprocessed, and more natural and real.

Grow Food should be consumed in OODLES… Honestly I was thinking of a fun “O” word. And Oodles is fun to say 🙂 But consuming more quantities of GROW food will help kids grow to be healthy as compared to fast food, candy, and sugar. Eating OODLES of GROW food is good if you want to be like Superman.

Grow Food should fuel your WELLNESS. Remember, you are what you eat. The cells of the things you consume help determine the clarity of your skin, your shape, how much energy you have to be like Superman and much more. You want to be healthy, eat the good GROW foods that will make you like Superman, and the energy and ability will also keep GROWING.

So the next time kids ask why they need to eat their carrots- tell them it is GROW FOOD to be like (insert athlete, super hero, etc. here).

G-Good
R- Real
O-Ooddles
W- Wellness

As we all know, Popeye ate his spinach to grow strong, and our kids should continue to do the same to GROW as well.