I believe it is never too early for a fresh start. Monday’s are powerful days for me because they represent a new week, a new chance to grow. The first of the month is again an empowering day for me because it too is a fresh start. Same with my birthday, which also happens to be New Year’s Day. It is a fresh start, a clean slate to a brand new year. We have 365 days to turn our lives around into what we dream them to be.
I love when new potential members come into the studio for the first time. Most of them are looking for a fresh start, a chance to begin anew. When I break down some walls and get them really talking about their dreams and goals, I sense a passion about what they want and help them believe that they can do it. When they leave, their soul is on fire. There is a renewed energy to them. I also feel more alive, listening, watching, anticipating the growth this person is about to make my my team and I’s help.
Then through the course of the next few weeks, my job is to keep that energy alive. To be honest it is not the easy job. Each person needs different fuel to continue on their new fitness journey, without that fuel, many times old habits re-emerge tempting them to go back to the life they are trying to leave behind.
I have often found that it is easiest to renew my energy or someone else’s by renewing hope and by asking questions. It is through questions that we can learn what is working, what is not working, and then better understand how to improve it. Questions are powerful, amazing tools to help create your dreams into a reality. (Seriously, simple ask yourself a question like “what in my life is working right now?” And I am sure your will find answers. From there as “Why is it working?” And again more answers will be found. Then ask, “How did I get that to work?” more answers. Finally ask, “how can I apply what is working and how I got it to work to something that isn’t working in my life right now?” Again, more answers will be found.)
The best part of a question is that if you don’t know the answers you can always learn and discover them. Sometimes this discovery is by examining your past behaviors and patterns and creating change. Sometimes this discovery is through reading and researching new more exciting ways to do something. And, yet, sometimes this discovery is through asking for help, though a majority of us have an extremely hard time doing so.
Why is asking for help so difficult? I believe it is because throughout our lives we were taught to achieve independence: to become independent thinkers, to rely on solely ourselves. What happens is that this way of thinking eventually becomes our identity. We ultimately associate our very essence as self-serving. We don’t need help. Therefore, asking for help becomes hard, uncomfortable. We fear others will see us as weak, dumb, incapable.
Truth be told, as a coach, I am always willing to help people. Unfortunately, I am also not a mind reader. I cannot force my help on someone who is still looking at themselves as totally independent in their fresh beginning. I am on their team. It becomes a give and take relationship. With that, the super independent people have to be a little vulnerable, and willing to trust me and the process to communicate ways to make the changes last. Alas, change is very hard to do independently.
Most people also know that change is hard without guidance. That is another reason why they walk through the door. They are looking for motivation, inspiration, accountability to keep them on the path they want to go down and not on the current path they are on. Many of these people have started a million times (think about how many at home workouts or new diets you began and quit within 2 weeks). Eventually their independent, old self always won. It creates a feeling of self-defeat and that the self-sabotaging believe that you can’t do it.
The people who ultimately do make the lasting change learn one priceless habit, the habit of asking for help. That habit is one where you break down the identity wall, and continue to get coaching, guidance, accountability, and strength to create your dreams into reality and make your goals a working part of your life. Asking for help is one way to feed your soul, and to really get a fresh start.
